Work / Life Balance 12

If you go to the gym look for postings for sports or other activities where groups are looking for members. Join whatever activity that interest you. In fact, join several and once you get a feel for everyone decide which is for you.

In a lot of communities there are church clubs, social clubs and groups with hobbies. Alternately look up a hobby on the internet that is of interest to you. Perhaps remote controlled cars or aeroplanes. Fishing and hunting are popular activities enjoyed by groups or pairs.

Enjoy a sports game, big league or amateur, with a friend.

Travelling is also another alternate. It doesn't have to be an extravagent trip but could be one or two hours away to see different things.

Good luck.



Regards,
Qshake

Eng-Tips Forums:Real Solutions for Real Problems Really Quick.

I would also recommend moving from your parents' house and into an apartment complex. That's a great opportunity to meet more people. Good luck!

Adopt a dog from a Humane Society. You never know where something like that might lead...



Regards,

SNORGY.

I was in almost the same situation when I got out of school. I was in a small apartment rather than my parents’ basement. I didn't have many friends and didn't do much but work for almost 6 years until I met my current wife. I tell her, that if she had not come along, I probably would have died in that little apartment, sad and alone laying on top of a pile of cash about 4 feet high (1.2 meters). But, thanks to her, I am no longer sad or alone and don't have the burden of that bothersome pile of money. Move out on your own. Get involved in other activities. Join a baseball team. Join Toastmasters. Take a vacation to a warm location with a beach. Find some activities that put you into contact with men and women and you are bound to find more friends and the right girl to settle down with. Hang in there.

Johnny Pellin

Sounds very familiar, but I wasn't living at home. Your mom is probably pushing you meet a "daughter of a friend," etc. I took up my mother's suggestion, and it worked like a champ. Married for 17 yrs now...

TTFN

FAQ731-376

Imagine how many others are in the same situation?

Definitely leave the parents' basement. Cut the apron strings and get out on your own- forget about the money.

Try on-line dating. Talk about "dating" myself- I met my wife through a telephone predecessor of that kind of thing. I went from meeting maybe one date-worthy girl a year to meeting one a week. I was working in small companies where the majority of my co-workers were guys, and she was new to the city and working in a female-dominated profession where there were a few guys, but all of them were gay...We'd have never met otherwise, and it's been 15 happy years.

Working too much is an easy thing to get out of: just say no. Work your core hours and a REASONABLE amount of O/T when it's truly required, and say no to the rest, otherwise your work/life balance problem will become a self-fulfilling prophecy: it's not possible to have a life when all you do is work! Right now you're probably filling in what's missing from the rest of your life with work just to keep yourself busy. There's only one way to stop, and that's to stop.

Best of luck- keep your chin up, things do get better if you don't just let them happen to you.

Go back to grad school, that could easily solve both of your problems; open up future career possibilities and maybe meet a coed.

peterso2:

Don't wait as long as I did to find this out:

Work isn't what I "do". Work is only what I do to pay for what I "do".

Regards,

SNORGY.

If you want a life you will have to go in search of one. Life will not find you ... but Death will no matter where you hide.

Life is too busy to go searching for others to join its fun. If you want Life to be a part of your existence, you will have to go in search of it.

Death, on the other hand will seek you out no matter which basement or gym you hide in.

Look on the bright side: at least you have two "real" friends that you hang out with. I moved to a new COUNTRY for work and have a lot of people that I know but no real friends that I hang out with despite the fact that I'm involved in quite a few activities.

What about your co-workers? What do they do? Do you get along with them? Do you have anything in common with them? Most of the peole I know that have lots of friends met most of them through work (apparently its also a part of the network building process).

What about the professional organizations in your area? They might have people your age that you have things in common with. You could get involved in those activities (also a part of the network building process).

I agree with Snorgy; work should be what you do so you can really do what you like to do. The key is to find a passion and run with it. It's important to have something to look forward to. I know that gets me through the work week.

To meet females you have to get involved in things females are typically involved in. You might not like some of those things but find a balance.

I too was in a similar situation. I got involved in coaching sports and I love it. You have no idea how intense coaching can be until you actually do it. It was a great break from work.

I also did a few other things, and eventually I managed to put together a pretty decent social life. It does take time though. I'm not sure if you're living in the same city you went to high school in, but that can make things tough.

One thing I might suggest, instead of a doing grad school, take some courses at a community college that are hands on that might help you get a job more suited for you. They often don't have the same homework aspect as a graduate eng course. It'll get you out of the house, you'll meet people and it would add something to your resume.

A couple of years ago I joined a ski club and met my future husband on the very first trip. It was a weekend bus trip to Vermont. As I stepped onto the bus, there was a cooler of beer, loads of snacks, and a bunch of friendly people. I wondered why I waited so long to do this! And our club also has non-ski activities like happy hours and white water rafting. So much fun!

I highly recommend it if you live anywhere near ski country.

If you're looking for a way to get out and meet people, check out meetup.com. Depending on where you live there could be many groups and a good chance to find other people who share your interests.

You might try "speed dating"
I think that you'll get a better idea of how un-unique your situation is.

TTFN

FAQ731-376

Get out of your parents' house. Most women your age find that a turn-off.

Dating/social skills advice is a bit outside the scope of this site. Suffice to say that life outside work is pretty much what you make of it.

I know a few folks that met their significant other in that most classic of places - a bar. While taken too far it can go horribly wrong, alcohol does tend to lower inhibitions a little which can help introverted folks speak to the pretty girl at the other end of the bar...

As to work, there are plenty of vaguely relevant threads around here, take a look.

Maybe a new job, perhaps in a new location, will be the jolt you need not just for work but your social life too.

Now is an excellent time to buy a condo or "starter home". Mortgage rates are about as low as they have ever been.

Or, get an apartment in a large complex. I bet they'll have a single woman or two, maybe even a singles club.

As for social activities, go after what you like or what you think you might like. Racing, dancing, church, skiing, scuba diving, volunteering, coaching (lot of single Moms out there), etc.

The key is get up off the coach and do something (even if it is wrong).

Good luck,
Latexman

Yes, definitely get up off the coach, and the pair of you get up off the couch and get outside. There's a great big world waiting to be explored.

Remember Work to live, don't live to work.

Maybe get a cat.