I am having trouble keeping the links between the bom and the views. Is there something that turns that on and off, or do I always have to insert a new bom?
I found it more stable if you link the BOM directly to the 3D assembly. Switch to 3D (CTRL+TAB) and click on the desired product when you insert the BOM in your drawing.
Are placing the BOM on the Drawing "MainView" / "Background View" or as an element inside the view to which it is linked?
In the past I have noticed that the BOM will not get triggered as out of date unless its parent is a View Containing linked geometry. You could also try typing: c:Force Update into the power input to force the BOM on the Main or Background view to synchronize.