communication 3

[BelspringKen]

Any tips for communication with someone who you consistently "can't get on the same page with"?

It seems that one person in particular that I work with is hard to get things across to , and hard to get info from.
This is the only person that I work with that I am having this problem with, so I don't think its totally my fault.

 

[waskillywabbit]

Invite them to lunch and you pay and see if you can get a better read on them in a non work atmosphere. No sense making an enemy of someone you work with and who knows, you might make an allie in the process.

If you can't figure out what is going on after the lunch, then I think it is time for a conversation with them about why you guys can't seem to communicate well...which in and of itself is quite ironic.

Brian

 

[BelspringKen]

A conversation about communication problems is a bit ironic, but that may be worth a try.

Thanks

 

[MadMango]

I always resort to email in situations like this. It's easier to clairify yourself as you are writing, plus it grants you time for reveiw. You also get the benefit of having that conversation/communication documented for future reference.

I deal with a person that always provides answers to questions that I have never asked. Sometimes I have to resend him the same questions several times before I get the proper information.

[green]"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."[/green]
Steven K. Roberts, Technomad
Have you read faq731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?

 

[BelspringKen]

Thanks guys.

I have noticed the person that I am dealing with will give answers to the very obvious "questions" (ones that I have not raised!) and to get the answers I really need I end up asking questions twice.

 

[KENAT]

First some questions.

1. Is the person, as far as you can tell, good at what they do just difficult to get along with?

2. Is the person nice enough but maybe not so good at what they do, hence the problem?

3. Is the person useless at what they do and not really that nice?

If 1 or 2 are the case make every effort to find a work around, it will pay off in the long run. Maybe take them out to lunch or get them a coffee or whatever as suggested above. If 2 is the case then you can ask them about the communication problem, if 1 is the case think twice. The email may work but make sure it doesn’t annoy them.

Had a couple of people I worked with before that were really good at what they did but (initially) a real pain to work with. I went out of my way to get along with them and bent over backwards for them. Within a year or so I had a really good working relationship with both of them, better than a lot of more senior staff who’d been there a long time, and got to the point where I got as much if not more back than I ever put in.

If 3 is the case then give up. Obviously you may not be able to completely but there is nothing that can be done. The email/memo technique may be a good idea, especially so you’ve got a paper trail if it all goes horribly wrong and like Mad Mango said it makes you think about what you are asking. If you have an open relationship with your manager/more senior staff try and get some idea if this person is like this with everyone and how they cope.

Other than that try and avoid them at all possible cost in whatever way you can.

 

[MedicineEng]

One time I had a bad period of miscommunication with a subordinate of mine that lead to some unnaceptable attitudes.
He is good in what he does ( and he was back then) so dismissal was not an option unless things continued as they were.
One day, after another of his strong reactions, after a while I called him to my office and approached in a different way:
I used Newtonian physics and told hime that for every action there is a reaction (thank you Newton).
Since I was not liking his reactions, I asked him what should I change in my behaviour to avoid reactions like those.
I believe that he was not ready for this (most probably he was ready to get a strong boss-employee kind of talk) and he opened up and mostly his complaint was getting involved in situations that he was not aware of and everybody pushing for fast results.
I acknowledged my fault, started to include him in the discussions with other departments, exchanged emails, etc, and we never had any more of these issues.
Of course we still have our small disagreements but we can reach a point of understanding very easily.
Sometimes, the miscommunication is not in the quality of the listener but in the quality of the talker.

 

[BelspringKen]

Thanks KENAT & MedicineEng,

Its mostly a case of an OK person in the wrong position.
I have tried a few things to keep the lines open, but may get a chance to switch to another dept., which could open some doors for some new things in the future.