Disrespectful Supervisor???

[knji]

I have a supervisor that consistently uses the F*** word without constraint. He seems to use this word with me only, when his superiors are not around or when he is frustrated with the amount of deadlines we have to meet. I have been with this company for only 6 months doing tech support and documentation.

Granted, there is a lot of work to do but I find his choice of words offensive most times especially when he does not do this with my other colleagues. I walked into work this Saturday morning to catch up and had the opportunity to express my opinion about his choice of words, which he did not take all too well.

I am thinking of asking the engineering head for a change of department given that creating a good working relationship with this guys will be one challenging task. I can meet my deadlines but this is a matter of being treated with respect given that I am a husband and father too.

Am I taking things too personal? What would you guys do?

TIA.

 

[imok2]

Knji, Here's my reality, You have to be true to who you are if you are to be a balnced human being and if it offends you to have some one use profanity then you have to speak up always repectfully, however you must always be aware that you may have to pay a price for your different point of view. This is just what the real world is and maybe the supervisor will be more aware of his offensive language. I would hang in there for awhile and see if you can work things out before asking for a transfer.

 

[kenvlach]

DESIDERATA

"Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
....
....
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Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy."

--- Written in 1927 by Max Ehrmann (1872-1945). Copyright has been renewed, but copies abound on the Internet, e.g.,

http://marilee.us/desiderata.html

 

[MikeHalloran]

For a long time after I worked in a particular chemical plant where it was the accepted form, my own speech was liberally peppered with f-bombs. Perhaps your supervisor has similarly become accustomed to dealing with the, er, 'rank and file', where subtler modifiers are wasted and ineffective.

Perhaps he has become enamored of the word's universality; it can substitute for or emphasize nearly any adjective with no loss of clarity or vitriol. Use of the word is therefore either easy or lazy, depending on your perspective.

You have already notified him that you find the word offensive. You probably also assured him that you do share the sense of urgency that he intended the word to convey.
Don't make a Federal case out of it until he's demonstrated that he can't or won't change.

Trust me on this; your next supervisor could have much more egregious flaws.



Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[knji]

Thanks guys.

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

Another perspective ... If it's normal for him to speak this way, and he only graces you with it, it could be that he feels "comfortable" with you & that he considers you to be on par with him. As he is your supervisor, that could be considered complimentary rather than disrespectful.

I'm guessing that he joined the company after your colleagues had, and as such he sees them as 'unfriendlies' who have no ties of loyalty to him, so he has to tread warily. If he had a hand in hiring you, he may well see you as 'one of his' or even as a protege.

Having said that, I agree with the others posts that you were absolutely within your rights to point out to him that you found his language offensive. Hang in there a while longer to see if the situation improves.


Helpful SW websites faq559-520
How to get answers to your SW questions faq559-1091

 

[BJC]

If your the only one there when he does it you could try turning it around. Like "That's a great F_ _ _ _ _ _ ideal Harry, F _ _ _ lets get right on it.
I saw it work once. The fellow who was in a situation similar to yours used the F word about 29 times in a 4 minute conversation. The fellow in your boss's position did it when other people were around. and the reply referenced above was the last. He must have realized how bad he sounded.

 

[cadnutcase]

Maybe he doesn't have the money for a Thesaurus.
I think CorBlimeyLimey hit the nail on the head.

My boss has a tendency to use inappropriate words behind closed doors with his groups. Almost all the time it is in a positive point of view.

Never once have I heard him say anything rough when the conference room door is open. The CEO's office is easily within ear shot.

 

[knji]

Guys,

I have no problems with using the F-bomb. I throw mine occasionally although not at work. Nonetheless, you can tell when someone is simply frustrated.

My wife also indicated that he maybe simply more comfortable around me but that was not the case.

He did apologize and things are returning to the way they should be. Monetary value cannot be tied to mutual respect .