My advice is to get a first job with a real bunch of A holes. I mean from the upper management to the guys in the trenches. It's not restricted to large companies, but if you'd like a real variety, they're the best. That way, you'll develop a thick skin when you're young and impressionable. And after that, any amount of professionalism or kindness seem like a big deal.
That's the way it worked for me.
Size of company and industry do not matter, it's all about you and how you perceive criticism and other comments. We just had an employee visit HR a few weeks ago for blowing up at a meeting because the phrase "barking up the wrong tree" was used. The person thought the comment meant someone was calling him a dog.
"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."
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Can you deal with people who don't know the details, making decisions that make your job more difficult/tedious/impossible?
If you are still with me, can you then re-do the work like you originally planned, by working unpaid overtime, once it is proven that the management decision was not the best (or even a feasible) path forward?
Ok almost there, can you then take the blame for all of the delays and wasted efforts?
If you made it through that, your skin is thick enough. If you can do it with a smile, you are golden. If you didn't make it past step #2, then you just need more practice. Makes me cringe to call that "experience" so I won't do it, you don't really learn anything other than to keep your mouth shut and leave it all at the office once you walk out the door.
I submit that the ability to have a "thick skin" and be tolerant of abuse is a personality trait. I suspect that the bad stuff happens in every industry and every size company. People are morally weak and abusive/abrasive/hostile everywhere you go. But my experience leads me to conclude that large companies in general, and automotive companies specifically, are the worst. As a wise friend told me years ago: "Large companies are terrible because they have all sorts of nooks and crannies where bad behavior can hide and flourish."
I am always fascinated with the personality of those folks who can get emasculated by their boss while he pats them on the back, or suffer any number of sociopathic corporate behaviors, and silently suffer through it or even ignore it. Or as was said, "...leave it at the office..." . I'm green with envy of people who can do that.
TygerDawg
Blue Technik LLC
Virtuoso Robotics Engineering
A rather classy cricketer, ex RAAF, was asked if he felt under pressure during an international. "pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse, playing cricket is not". If they aren't actively trying to kill you then it's just words.
Cheers
Greg Locock
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My method of developing thick skin was inspired by a great boss early in my career. I complained one day about the length of my things-to-do list and the fact that I was getting blamed for missing impossible deadlines. I was stressed. His response:
"If the job were easy, we'd hire high-school kids to do it. If the job were fun, we wouldn't have to pay you. Get busy."
LPS for Greg. You actually adjusted my attitude this morning. I could be jobless with hungry kids. Taking heat at work is better.
Best to you,
Goober Dave
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I think the ultimate key to having a thick skin is to understand yourself, and then to understand the nature of the people around you. Nearly everyone lives in their own little universe where they are the star of their own drama series. To them, you are a character or a prop. Nothing they do or say to you is personal.
I have to step back and remind myself of the same thing as the Tick said. Often times I find myself in conflict with experienced, highly motivated individuals who want the best, but can only see their way of doing it. By standing my ground while going out of my way to remain very professional sometimes I can break through the personal issues and gain their friendship and support. Those that I can't flip probably are total and complete arseholes and treat everyone badly, so just let it go.
It also helps to pick your battles, not the ones you hold near and dear, but the ones you can win, and be nice about it. Once you have a reputation as a gracious winner, you'll have an easier go.
I am always fascinated with the personality of those folks who can get emasculated by their boss while he pats them on the back, or suffer any number of sociopathic corporate behaviors, and silently suffer through it or even ignore it.
Nothing fascination about it, just being practical and efficient. When nobody cares if you are right or wrong, there is limited value in proving it, no value in worrying about it, and hard to justify wasting time doing either when you should be wasting time doing what the boss asked.
I am always fascinated with the personality of those folks who can get emasculated by their boss while he pats them on the back, or suffer any number of sociopathic corporate behaviors, and silently suffer through it or even ignore it. Or as was said, "...leave it at the office..." . I'm green with envy of people who can do that.
Some people understand that what happens at work is not the most important thing in life. If your boss is a dick, you either put up with it and ignore it, or get another boss one way or another. Letting your work destroy your life or your self esteem is so 1950s. Just not worth doing.
As a student, I worked with a Mine Planner who said, 'Yeah, whatever, I had a job before this one, I'll have a job after this one.'
I had a great place to work at for my 2nd job. My first week they were taking bets on who would be first to leave or be fired. Every project manager made one of the female employees cry at some point. There were yelling matches constantly. People blaming other's for who knows what. I managed to stay there for almost 3 years and learned that I now have thick skin while running my own company.
Near the end I had an argument with an older engineer because I was fixing a badly spliced together topography for a large subdivision. Everyone for years was designing to the wrong property lines and buildings on half of a map. About 70 houses and a major street into a new 500 lot subdivision. So grading was sort of important to tie everything together. Turns out the hillside grading was going right through existing backyards, pools and some houses. What did I get for this? She madly dashed through the entire office and told on me to the director of engineering and the 3 owners. The owner that I was under came by the next morning and just laughed after I told him what happened.
I had this happen a few other times with the old school drafters. They wouldn't design the way I wanted and I got chewed out. The younger drafters knew I was trying to be more efficient in using my resources and had my back on that one.
And yes I heard the stories of past engineers having heart attacks getting into these arguments. It must have been some weird ritual to be part of the club. So what did I learn? Go work for a few years at a company with a mix of engineering ages. Don't be afraid to stand up for your designs. And when it seems like it can't get any worse find a new job and realize sometimes the grass actually is greener on the other side.
B+W Engineering and Design
Los Angeles Civil Engineer and Structural Engineer
There once was a boss from Nantucket
Who knew not a drop in a bucket.
On his farm, he did sicken
When he choked on his chicken
Because he was too stupid to pluck it.
![[rofl2]](/data/assets/smilies/rofl2.gif "[rofl2] [rofl2]")