How to be less loyal 5

[WiSEiwish]

I hear that these days company loyalty is not really a thing anymore. When there is a crunch tough decisions have to be made and even long term employees have to be let go in addition to those who have personal friendships with the boss. I've witnessed the aftermath of a layoff of a person who had a good history with the boss. There wasn't bad blood or anything, but I could sense the hurt on both sides. When it comes down to it, management has to and will make these tough decisions no matter how tough they may be.

On the other side of the coin is the employee. I've always approached my current career jobs as though I will work for that particular company until I retire, but still knowing that it may not be a long term thing. I've been fortunate to be in situations where I have been able to befriend coworkers, and have always been on good terms, personally and professionally with my superiors. That being said, I have to look at the relationship between myself and my employer from the lens of the employer. If they are able to cut ties to better their position no matter how tough a decision it may be then I must be able to do the same...but it is hard. It would be easier if I was able to detach myself emotionally from the situation, but doing that would be to remove an important attachment between myself and my employer. I don't really like being at work all day with emotional detachment from my coworkers. There is no fun in that. How do you deal with these types of situations?

I've gotten myself into a situation where I rationally know that I should look around, but it is really hard to make that choice to jump in to the job market. The company I'm working for has been slow and I'm not sure how strong they are financially. There are a lot of red flags in that department. It is quiet here with very few opportunities to socialize and interact with other employees. My department is small with little to no mentoring (I'm young). I am relied upon heavily for there isn't a back-up plan (not a problem of my doing), so if I leave there would have to be an immediate hire. I know it is the right decision to leave, but how do I get this weight of loyalty off of my shoulders?

Any empathy out there?

 

[berkshire]

The military has a phrase which might apply here: " Do as you would be done unto by others, but do it first."
B.E.

You are judged not by what you know, but by what you can do.

 

[IRstuff]

I think that's part of being a professional. You can stay detached and uninvested, and your work and attitude will show your lack of investment. I don't think that you can be successful in a job when you are of a mind to be able to walk away at an instant's notice. A job is somewhat like a partnership, particularly if you are a senior engineer. Partnerships fail sometimes, but unless you are sufficiently invested in the company and its success, it's unlikely that you will succeed. There are those that can pull that sort of thing off, but they're not simply detached; they're more like sharks looking for the next meal.

But, clearly, at some point in time, it may be obvious that the relationship is doomed, and at that point, you need to make that decision to move on. I don't think there's a shortcut for those without shark blood flowing in their veins.

TTFN
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[dig1]

PE2012,

You say that you have gotten yourself into a situation where you rationally need to look around. Then you have to do it. When I got out of school I worked for a mid-sized engineering firm and our department was slow. Several of the people around me were let go. My boss, who hired me, transferred me to a busier department to work on a multi-disciplinary project that I had been working on. The move was made to protect me and I knew and appreciated it. However, I also knew that business was business and that unless I looked out for myself I could be looking for a job w/o having one; which is not what I wanted.

I took another position and had to call in to give my notice (I was at an out of town field location when the new offer came in and it was not possible to come to the office). When I called and before I could say anything, they told me they were happy with my work and was just given a raise. I then said I had accepted another position. Long story short, I gave them 3 weeks notice to finish the project, didn't try to negotiate, and 20+ years later and still friends with people there.

Looking out for yourself is not necessarily being less loyal or unprofessional. Rationale people will not view you in a poor light if you are professional, work diligently your employer and their clients, but also understand that this is a business and that it is often necessary for you to develop professionally and financially.

Best of luck.

 

[emorel22]

PE2012,

I was in a very similar spot less than a year ago. I worked my way through school at one company and wound up as the supervising engineer there. I was so proud of the job, so proud of my work there and the company, that I was blinded by it. I wouldnt, COULDN'T look elsewhere, no matter how rough my day, my week, my year had become. I felt that if I started looking elsewhere, that I would be found out and it would ruin the relationships I had developed through the years there. All the while, the company was shifting, the dynamic changing and my work suffering. I was taking work home, stressing over it night and day, my wife begging me to stop. I knew in my mind and heart that I needed to move on, but I refused to read the writing on the wall because I felt I needed to be loyal and keep my pride, my team spirit so to speak. I knew that if I left I was leaving behind people that needed me, or so I thought.

I ended up being laid off and having to look for a job while unemployed. Luckily, I found a job very quickly, because it could have gone very differently. The moral of the story and the lesson I myself learned, as I am also a young engineer, is that you need to invest yourself in the company, but when your heart tells you it's time, you need to listen. At the end of the day, the company can take your leaving as an insult or not, but you need to look out for you, they will do what they have to and so should you.

E. Morel
M.E.

 

[TheTick]

Loyalty is a poor substitute for professionalism. What you really owe your employer and your coworkers is your best work for their time and money.

 

[EmmanuelTop]

Always do what is best for yourself, because the company will always do what is best for themselves. This is always true, no matter how cruel it may sound. Experience - mostly painful - of many forum members can confirm the same.

You don't owe loyalty to a company, you may owe loyalty to a person. These two things are not the same, and they shouldn't be mixed with each other.

Dejan IVANOVIC
Process Engineer, MSChE

 

[SNORGY]

Somewhere between TheTick's and EmmanuelTop's positions is the optimum balance. However, there is a distinct ring of truth in what TheTick says. So, for whatever time you spend there, *earn* what they pay you. Then you can hold your head high regardless of outcome.

As for EmmanuelTop's position, well, that's not arguable, either. In matters like this, your first obligation is always to protect your own best interests. If you can do that while heeding the words of TheTick, you'll be fine.

It sounds to me like you are already handling it the way you ought to be. There's not much else you can do.

 

[moltenmetal]

I really feel for the OP here. Their heart is absolutely in the right place. It's hard to leave, but when the writing is on the wall you need to pay heed to it. You will be doing nobody any favours by sticking around to the bitter end. When you start looking, you will give yourself choices if and when the time comes.

It's been easier for me comparatively: I left one job when it was clear that they had no intentions of altering my working conditions and compensation to make it possible for me to stay while keeping my dignity- but I left with an offer in hand from another employer who exceeded my expectations in those areas. I was laid off from another, but was already actively looking for months before it happened so it was no surprise to me.

My current employer has in past shown great loyalty to me and to other employees, by keeping us on when there was no work for an extended period. Those who persevered through that period have never forgotten it and owe a debt of loyalty to the company as a result. For the company itself, it was a brilliant business decision, as we emerged from that slow period with sufficient strength to seize an opportunity for one of our busiest years, full of very profitable work. But we knew the business was solvent, had plenty of cash on hand to weather the storm, and nothing fundamental about the nature of the business had changed to make it no longer tenable. It would have been a very different story if we were being warehoused because management was in denial about the fact that the market had moved on and they no longer had a viable business to run- then our loyalty would have been misplaced. Understanding the difference between those two scenarios requires some knowledge of the business itself, on the business rather than technical side. For some technical employees, that isn't an option- but most of us are smart enough to figure those kinds of things out for ourselves if we apply ourselves to the task like we would to any other problem.

 

[WiSEiwish]

Thanks everyone for the thoughts. I know what I have to do, but it's just hard! Shying away from things because they are hard doesn't help anyone though.

 

[JMirisola]

I've always had the mindset that I'm working to earn a living and not to make friends. That doesn't mean that I don't believe I won't make friends, it's just a way to keep myself semi-insulated from becoming overly emotionally attached to a company. Unlike our parents' (or grandparents') generation, working for one company for the duration of your career is almost unheard of these days. Understanding this will help you to be able to follow your heart as, chances are, your coworkers know this as well. Perhaps they'll be a bit jealous/envious that you're able to move on, but so long as you do it in a professional manner, they can't begrudge you, too much.

Jeff Mirisola, CSWE
My Blog

 

[WiSEiwish]

I'm not necessarily looking to make friends where I work. I've just been lucky in that regard. That being said, 40 hours of the week is much more enjoyable when you are around people you get along with and enjoy their company (my experience at least).

 

[KENAT]

In my experience it's more enjoyable when most folks around you are competent - enjoying their company is of a lesser concern.

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[WiSEiwish]

KENAT, that goes without saying! A good work personality should include competency.

 

[Panther140]

KENAT,

The interaction between work environments and work performance is a good example of a bidirectional causal relationship.

"Formal education is a weapon, whose effect depends on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed." ~ Joseph Stalin

 

[KENAT]

My point being, I'd rather work with a slightly awkward individual who is good at their job than with the nicest person in the company who doesn't have a clue what they're doing.

I can usually work around someones personality quirks more easily than I can get someone to be better at their job - especially folks that don't do the same job as me.

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[WiSEiwish]

KENAT, I agree with you here. Working with folks that don't have it all together can be extremely frustrating. My current situation is not necessarily the quality of individuals that I work with, but the lack of them. Company culture is mostly subjective in its quality. I'd say there can be objectively bad cultures, but not necessarily objectively good cultures. My preference is one where I can enjoy daily interaction with my coworkers about all sorts of things, and especially engineering (competency required). Where I'm at right now there just aren't enough people and I'm often surrounded by silence. I'm just not the kind of person that prefers that atmosphere.

There is obviously a give and take, so I'm not expecting everything to be perfect...just better.

 

[SomptingGuy]

Awkward individuals come and go. As do those who are a pleasure to work with. Job hopping doesn't change that and if you job hop within the same industry, paths will inevitably cross again. Sometimes it's odd when a colleague returns as a customer. Or as a supplier. Or as a competitor.

I was once told that your loyalty to an employer should match their loyalty to you as an employee.

Steve

 

[IRstuff]

"My point being, I'd rather work with a slightly awkward individual who is good at their job than with the nicest person in the company who doesn't have a clue what they're doing."

Oh, you must have never smelled "Bob." He was brilliant when it came to ECL layouts, but hygiene, not so much...

TTFN
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[KENAT]

I've had assorted colleagues with variations on aroma & hygiene issues. Less annoying than a former boss/current colleague who has some social awkwardness issues.

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