Tricky situation 4

[SteelPE]

I have a coworker who is having a tough go of it as of late. He is quite a bit older than I am and he works from his home office. He is set up as an outside consultant who only bills for the work that he does. Recently he was diagnosed with a terminal illness. He informed me of this a few weeks ago however, he is holding off telling our employer of his situation. He plans on telling our employer soon… but not for another week or two.

He has told me that he wants me to “cover” for him the best that I can (answer any questions that may be put his way and try to finish some of his projects). I told him that this is something that he would need to address with our employer to make them aware of what is going on with the projects and that he is unable to finish the projects assigned to him.

Our employer is beginning to get frustrated with the situation of not knowing what is going on especially since he is unresponsive to their emails and phone calls. I have done the best I can with reviewing/approving submittals and answering questions about his current projects. My employer has asked me what is going on to which I reply I don't really know, you will have to ask him. However, now my employer is starting to take out their frustrations with his lack of response on me. I feel that it’s not my place to tell them what is going on but it is becoming very difficult especially when I am the end of the frustrations.

What would others do in this situation?

 

[monkeydog]

This is a personal situation for your friend.
Tell your friend he has put you in a difficult situation with your employer, and ask him to let your employer of his situation soon.

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

I would tell your coworker to inform the boss immediately ... or you will.

Your boss is already ticked off with you, and he will probably be even more so when/if he finds out you knew all along. Your boss, even if sub-consciously, will tag you as untrustworthy, a liar, and not a team player for 'his' side.

Not meaning to sound heartless, but your boss will be around after your coworker is gone, and he is the one you will have to answer to.

 

[controlnovice]

It would also be unethical for him to ask you to answer questions posed to him and finish his work if he is billing for it...

______________________________________________________________________________
This is normally the space where people post something insightful.

 

[SteelPE]

controlnovice

Well, in this instance he is not actually billing for the work that I would be doing/have done.

 

[casseopeia]

Ask your coworker to come in to the office for a joint meeting with your supervisor, boss, HR weenie if you have to, and anyone else who may be affected. Give him the support he needs by suggesting how he can best present the information, then get down to the business at hand. Chances are he is afraid of many things, being seen as useless or invisible, getting emotional, not to mention the fear of dying. Say that the project 'needs' him to assist with a smooth transition.

Suggest that he inform the group that he has a serious medical condition that is going to take him away from fulfilling his responsibilities for awhile, with no guarantee of being able to return to them. He has not obligation to reveal his condition. If asked, suggest he say that he would rather not go into the details of his medical condition and instead would like to focus on transitioning project functions, etc. Then give him a date you want to have this meeting. Avoid saying 'deadline' and 'drop dead date' or other similar phrases. Then seriously look at what it will take to transition his projects and if you can take some of it on.

"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump

 

[MisterDonut]

Tell your employer that you are familiar with your coworker's projects and are willing to continue to cover them. Let your coworker tell your employer of his condition on his own time, I would think he has much bigger things on his mind right now.

 

[SteveMartin]

I would tell whomever was asking me about co-worker that they should talk to him themselves. I would NOT say I didn't know what was up after the co-worker told me. Not only is it dishonest, but that dishonesty can easily come back to haunt me when they find out what I knew and when I knew it.

If I wanted/didn't mind the work he's currently responsible for I would volunteer to my boss that I could take over those items if boss feels he's not getting the desired response from co-worker.

I also wouldn't bring up any of the employer frustrations to the co-worker unless the co-worker asks about it. Even then I'd limit it to "so and so is frustrated by not knowing your status, I suggest you talk to him/her soon."

Managing my co-workers is my manager's job, not mine.

 

[MikeHalloran]

I replaced a guy who died once.

It was a very strange experience for me; no doubt more so for him.

In his case, he was on salary, and the company was prosperous and generous, so he got a full paycheck until the day he died.

He didn't work a full day for most of his last year. The pain meds made it difficult for him to concentrate enough to read a full line of text; he'd get lost about halfway across and have to start over, so it was frustrating for him, and not very productive.

The best we could do was he'd come in for half a day or a couple hours every week or so, and I would spend the time verbally picking his brain, trying to pick up what he had started, and discussing where the project should go from there.


In your case, your coworker only gets paid if he works, and that may become increasingly difficult for him; probably, it already has. I'm betting he needs the money, so he's going to try and maintain the illusion that he's at full capacity for as long as possible. ... but that's no longer possible.

He needs to 'fess up', and work out a better transition plan, with your boss, before his charade damages your reputation.

It may already be too late for that. You should be mad about being so taken advantage of, and you should tell him so. Today.




Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[lacajun]

One of my contractor's died from cancer during his tenure with me. He kept it a secret until he couldn't any longer then told everyone what was going on. He needed the money, too, but he was honorable and knew he couldn't perform up to standards. We kept him as long as we could then had to let him go. He was near the end anyway. Management stepped up to the plate as much as they could in his situation.

He was a good man and I enjoyed working with him.

 

[ornerynorsk]

Agree with other posters. Once his situation, and the consequences thereof, begin to involve you, it involves you! It can easily be perceived as unethical and presumptuous to covertly offload accountability and responsibility, even in the situation of a terminal illness. That's my opinion of course, no offense to anyone, it's a delicate matter.

There is a fear with those going through that situation that the rug is going to be yanked out from under them, when in reality, most employers will show a lot of heart and compassion.

It's a tough break, any way you look at it, but he does owe some open communication to those affected and involved.

It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.

 

[controlsdude]

There is nothing unethical about this situation. The contractor is dieing, so what if he told the poster the situation. Its not the posters concern to tell his boss that he is going to quit. Thats between his boss and that contractor.

If the boss is that big of a jerk to not have any compassion or understanding about the situation, then I could understand the poster's problem about being put in the middle.

Otherwise, the poster just works overtime later and its all water under bridge. The guy who died will be in a better place then dealing with a boss like this one.

 

[SteelPE]

Well, after going around and receiving not to pleasant emails (from the manager) it was decided that he was going to fess up to his problems ASAP. Actually he is probably doing it as I write this email.

He has been with the company since it's inception 25 years ago, so they should have some compassion, but with the way the economy has turned so has the attitude of the people who run the company. There is really only one person stirring things up at the moment. It's a really sad situation that was only being made worse by one bad manager.

This situation has really shed some light on what type of people run this company. They were made aware of the fact that he had some serious issues when I was notified of the actual problem a few weeks ago and this manager still insisted on being a jerk.

Oh well. Thanks for the help.

 

[lacajun]

People with integrity still do the right thing when times are hard.

I'm sorry you got caught up in a BM's mess.