When to notify... 4

[Mechomatic]

Hello all-

My wife and I are planning to relocate in the next 6 months, or so, to be closer to family. Our community involvement and personal lives have mostly evaporated due to various circumstances and we find that our jobs are the only things really keeping us where we are. Unfortunately, both of us are in our first "real" job- she has been working in an unrelated industry for 1.5 years with an advanced, professional degree, and I have been with my employer for less than a year. I enjoy my job, and am reaping the benefits of working or a small company- lots of experience doing lots of different things- but also being paid a pittance. I am starting to look for job opportunities where we plan to move, but I am stuck with a dilemma:

When do I tell my boss- whom I like and respect- that I am already looking for employment in another state? I hate to let him down, though I feel as though I'm being something of a betrayer given the amount of education and training I have gotten during this job, being fresh out of my undergrad program. Additionally, since this is my first "real" job, I would think having my current boss as a reference would be tremendously helpful to me- I believe he thinks quite highly of me and would be a stellar reference as the VP of the company who is still involved in the engineering side of things.

Any wisdom from those of you who are far more experienced that I am would be most welcome. I imagine some of you think that we should wait to move for career considerations, but it is quickly becoming a drag on our happiness remaining where we are.

 

[Jboggs]

I've been on both sides of the situation (several times) and my advice is this:

(1) Until you give him formal notice of your departure (not potential departure, but for sure absolute departure) you continue to give him all the service and loyalty you would expect if you were him.

(2) Do not count on him for a reference until you have discussed it with him, and since you should not discuss your intentions with him, you should not use him for a reference.

(3) Remain open to all other options.

Also, you are still at a very early point in your career. At this point you should be focusing on learning as much as you can. Believe me, I understand wanting to be close to family, and I know it can be especially difficult early on, but it sounds like you are in a pretty good place right now. Are you really sure you want to jump out of a secure income in a job situation you like to take on an unknown in this economy?

 

[weldstan]

Why the rush?? If your company has another office located near to where you are relocating, confide in your boss soon. If you find a job within the next 6 months, give him additional notice somewhat beyond the normal 2-weeks and discuss why you need to relocate. If your primary reason is salary, tell him after you get the job offer but also do discuss more appropriate compenasation at this time, especially if you have not received an increase after a year abd a half.

Relocating to be near family is often ill advised, especially at the beginning of your career.

 

[Mechomatic]

Thank you both.

It's my wife's family that we'll be moving to be near. They have always been extremely close- unusually so- until they moved when they all got what amount to their dream careers. My wife's job is good but she is wholly unhappy with her management and there have been some questions of ethics/possible fraud from the higher ups that she desperately wants to be away from.

My primary reason for wanting to relocate is not salary; it is for the benefit of my wife's happiness and for our marriage. She has been unhappy and the distance between us and her family has ended up being a strain on us, on our finances (they are close enough to visit on long weekends, but we have to stay in a hotel due to my wife's recently developed pet allergies), and the whole living-one-holiday-to-the-next is driving me nuts. To be fair, my low salary is not helping my case to stay where we are, but it is not a large consideration of mine at the moment.

Unfortunately, my company is not just small, but teeny-tiny- to the tune of 18 employees from president/owner on through to the guy doing steel prep for painting. So no chance of transferring within the company.

Jboggs- us moving isn't a possibility but an eventuality. The question is when, but it will certainly be within the next 3-10 months. I absolutely want to complete one full year of service here, and wish I could have longer, but this is a life choice, not a career choice. I just wonder, then, when the appropriate time would be to tell my boss. Especially given the size of the company, 2 weeks seems like it would be too short a notice and leave them in a lurch.

Should I at least make it known (obliquely) that my wife isn't happy without her family and her job is making her want to find something else? Kind of prep things so it isn't such a sudden shock? "Oh, hey- By the way, I'll only be here two more weeks even though you like me and things are going well for us here."

 

[racookpe1978]

Do NOT under any but the most dire circumstances, leave your present position (and hers!) until you HAVE the next job in hand and have their letter and travel money in your hand.

You need TWO job searches going here! Hers AND yours. At your very, very early tie in your career, leaving early will be a significant strike AGAINST you in both interviewing for the new job ("Why should i hire a proven very risky newbie when he just left his former job at only 1 year?")

HER job hunt must also be successful. Or, her job hunt needs to be a risk: Can he get a job at the new city IF yo get one there first? Remember, if you get hired in the new city, you MUST move and work at least 2-1/2 to 3 years, or your third job interview is impossible. ("Guy keeps leaving his other companies. I will never risk hiring him.")

 

[IRstuff]

Your service record serves to prove a reason to NOT hire you, i.e., it's almost a given that an employer can find something they don't like in the your resume. If they like you, many sins can be forgiven, particularly in a hot job market. Given that you are moving to a different place, the first job being short-time is not that big a factor, and assuming you get to an interview, you can throw your wife under the bus as the reason for that first move. You should definitely squeeze out at least a full year at your current job, if you can. Happy wife = happy life, though. Since both of you need to find jobs, the time horizon might be long enough to get your full year, and possibly more, if your destination's job market is slow.

A second move might become problematic, but only to the extent of how quickly you bail from the second job. Since there would not be the pressure from the wife to move, you can tough out a second job with whatever issue it might have for a much longer time. You should contemplate staying at least 2 yrs at the second job, if you have few outstanding features or skills; you can cut that stay if you have special skills or knowledge, but that puts the burden on the 3rd job to provide the appearance of stability.

Being labeled a "job hopper" is only bad in a bad economy, where it's a buyer's market. In a good economy, so long as you've got a warm body, you can get hired. Of course, such an animal might never reappear in our lifetimes.

TTFN
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[HuckleberryFinn]

The old fogies on here will tell you to shut up and not say a word to your boss until you've already secured gainful employment in your next position (And honestly, that's probably the position generates the the least possible risk for you in this situation). Not bad advice for someone with a mortgage and a few dependents to take care of but based on your age it seems like you might have neither and especially with two junior professional salaries, it seems like if you are a bit more risk tolerant maybe you could consider just talking to your boss and letting him know that your searching for a place of employment more geographically beneficial for your family (DO NOT MENTION YOUR SALARY CONCERNS IN THIS DISCUSSION - You're leaving either way, no need to poke him in the eye on the way out). It makes sense to me to not want to burn bridges at your first place of employment after college (especially if you cannot stay for at least two years with them).

Regardless of whether you decide to tell your boss or not, I do agree with RACookPE1978: If you can at all help it, do not leave your current position until you have secured another (even if it means staying in different cities while your wife moves to the other city for a few months). It's one thing to have an adult conversation with someone you respect and let them know that your future together is limited, another entirely to jump into this job market with no meaningful professional connections or references to fall back on.

Good luck with them impending department GTME12.

 

[Mechomatic]

Thank you all very, very much.

Neither of us will leave our current employment until we have our next position lined up. She actually has already had three companies contact her with 2 of the three indicating they'd like to schedule an interview for the next time we're in their area. The good news is that her profession is guaranteed to be in high demand where we're headed, so even if the current apparent opportunities dry up, new ones will arise in due time.

As I said before, the salary thing is not a big deal to me where I am, and I certainly don't wish to burn any bridges- hence this thread to get a feel for how to handle the situation of notifying my boss about an inevitable-but-not-immediate departure. I will refrain from telling him and get back in touch with one of my professors as a potential reference.

I already knew I would need to stay at my next job for a substantial period for the sake of my career, and I had been planning on doing so. One good thing about being "Dual Income, No Kids" is that our biggest concern is just paying down my wife's student loans, but even that is based on our taxable income, so we're not in a hard place financially.

Again, thank you all for the input. I see posts from many of you guys all over this website and recognize your experience and am glad to get to learn from you in a more direct way than just from trawling interesting threads.

 

[berkshire]

GTME12 (Mechanical)
Get the new job signed and sealed first, The amount of notice you give, will depend on the leeway you built in for reporting time on the new job.
Without upsetting the new employer, try to give yourself as much room as possible.
Then you can go back to your old employer and give him the news. What happens next will really tell you how you are regarded. If you end up working overtime to get all of your tasks finished, that is good. If you get a pay check for your notice time , that is not good.
B.E.


You are judged not by what you know, but by what you can do.

 

[SLTA]

I jumped around when I was fresh out of college and it never mattered. First job was less than one year, next 1.5, then grad school, then 2 years, then 2 years, then settled. Now yes, some of the more established engineers here will tell you I was shooting myself in the foot with every move, but actually, I got a raise each time I moved (all due to different reasons).

Do what's best for your family. Seriously. Be professional in the whole matter and it should all work out fine. It's not like you're leaving because the guy next to you breathes too loudly, you know?

Best of luck.

 

[tbuelna]

GTME12-

I work as a contract engineer, and over the past 25 years I have changed jobs at least 15 times.

First, when it comes to giving notice, treat your employer with the same courtesy you would expect from them. You have a business relation with them, and business relations are two-way streets. Second, don't give any notice to your current employer, or even mention anything to any co-workers about the new job, until you have a signed contract with your new employer. Finally, never accept any verbal commitment from an employer. Demand everything in writing upfront. It's a business relationship, so your prospective employer will not be offended by such requests.

Good luck to you.

 

[ztengguy]

see if you can work from home in your new location, and if they value you as an employee, they will pay for your hotel when you visit them.