Arguing without getting emotional 7

[Kinsrow]

My position as an engineer is really between the two tales. I'm the guy who take over the R&D idea and make it work. This involves assisting the R&D people on how to design thing that is manufacturable, cheap, easy to assemble, etc. I found my self that if I don't catch their mistakes then it is my fault. If I do catch their mistakes, I still have to fix it due to various reason like the product is way down the line and the tooling is already built, etc. Now here is the real issue, I always get pumped up whenever I get to the meeting and talked with these guys trying to convince them to change the design a little bit to accomodate for better cost, assembly, service, etc. It seems like no matter how I present the fact, I always got my self in the arguing mode that at the end I wanted to kick his butt so badly.

How do you present the fact without getting emotional and still being able to convince them. And if you do get into a debate, how do you stay calm and not take things personally.

Anyone has similar situation and how to cope this?

Kinsrow

 

[electricpete]

I guess my advice about communicating your thoughts kind of left out the part about genuinely listening to the others with a view to understanding. Obviously important as well as was noted.

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[mkinnes]

I say hit him. You will feel much better.

 

[MortenA]

I dont see a special problem about getting "emotional" as long as it just isnt a cover up for the following:

-Being patronizing (we engineers often tend to do this)
-Digging trenches
-Unconstructive critisims that the recipient cant use to solve the problem
-Done in public so that the recipient will be embarassed

Best regards

Morten

 

[mkinnes]

Kinsrow you are in a tough spot.

One thing I've noticed is people don't like having their work ripped apart and redone by someone else or even have it suggested that it needs to be redone.

The tough part is you seem like the person who has to make the thing work despite the fact you didn't create the problem. You probably would have seen the problem with the design before it went from paper to physical form because you have the ability to see problems before they happen, when they are happening and after the damge is done.

The people who caused the problems you are fixing are scared of you because they can't figure out what you naturally and through experience can see.Biggest problem is they are scared of you because you are probably either much smarter or just have common sense. If you have an aggresive personality its only going to make it much worse.

Try reflecting the tone you are being given in meetings while maintaining a level emotional feeling. If someone is talking loudly respond in kind. If someone is talking slowly slow your speech down. Don't ever let people's stupidity affect your attitude, rise above it.

Whats the saying about trying to wrestle a pig...

 

[Snoball]

If one particular person is combative, emotional, etc, be carefull!
I worked with a person like that, I actually got promoted big because I was stable and could bring work to fruitation.
Problem was after time it became bromide that "he gets away with that because of you" "he wouldn't say that if you didn't let him get away with it" in other words he was my fault!