Finding a mentor outside work? 4

[BSMEclassof2012]

Hello All,
First of all, thank you very much for all your replies to my questions that I have asked on this wonderful forum. You all have some astute knowledge of engineering and I am learning something everyday from you by reading what I have asked and by reading the past posts (from the search bar).

Now, coming to my question about mentorship. When I started at my current company two years ago. My supervisor was a 65 years old workaholic mechanical engineer who loved to solve problems and was very innovative. He was not only my boss but my mentor with 40 years of industry experience. About 6 months ago he passed away because of cancer. Now, I am really missing his presence because he would come to my desk every day and we would discuss projects. I was learning a lot by talking to him. The person who replaced him Is an electrical engineer (32 years old, who is a manager). I can ask questions here but I want someone that can specifically know what I am doing and guide me a little. Someone that can challenge me with my results. Can you please suggest some ways of finding a mentor outside work?

Things that I need help with are.
1) Setting long term and short term goals. How to achieve them. Is what I want practical?
2) Selecting priorities. Understanding myself and where I am heading.
3) Discussing the market demands on engineering. Where are we heading in terms of the demand of mechanical engineering.
4) Improving my writing and communication skills. I am a non native speaker.
5) my Cover letters and resume feedbacks.
6) Things that I can improve, overall.
7) When making decisions, am I following the right logic?

I am open for all kind of feedback. How is my writing? How much maturity do you see in this post and other posts that I have created on this site. How is my thinking process? I will wait for your response. Thank you!

 

[KENAT]

You could try joining some appropriate industry organizations or bodies, SAE or what have you.

You could also look for organization that while not dedicated engineering organizations are likely to have a lot of engineers. E.g. some place restoring some kind of machines or vehicles be it aircraft, ships, tanks, steam trains.... Make it somewhere you are interested in, not just a 'meat market' opportunity.

As regards feed back, your obsession with finding a mentor can come across as a bit desperate. If you liken looking for a mentor to looking for a girlfriend then I'm thinking desperation may not be the message you want to be sending.

Posting guidelines faq731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

(probably not aimed specifically at you)
What is Engineering anyway: faq1088-1484​

 

[rotw]

I think there are two many items you need help with.
You need first to narrow them down (to one).

 

[IRstuff]

You come across as:
> young/hyper -- your handle implies that you graduated in 2012, and you seem to jump on things and make assumptions about what YOU can get out of things without thinking about whether the other parties are even remotely close to what you want them to be.
> needy -- your continued obssession with a mentor is starting to get a little old and as Kenat suggests, it smacks of desparation
> stubborn/hyper -- maybe just my extrapolation from your mentorship thing
> stuck on plans -- your talking points in the OP about long term goals, priorities seems like an obsession with planning. While general plans are possibly OK, NOTHING happens on a schedule; if you think you're going to get married at age 28 or become a general manager at age 45, don't be surprised if you get disappointed. Life, in detail, cannot be planned, or at least, few can pull off their plans. What degree you graduated with may, or may not, be the end-all of your life; it certainly wasn't with mine, since my BSEE hasn't really been put to use in almost 30 years. But, adaptability and openness to the twists and changes of life are more important than your plans.

TTFN
I can do absolutely anything. I'm an expert!
faq731-376 forum1529

 

[Maui]

"If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans." - Jeffrey Steele and Kip Raines

Maui

 

[PEDARRIN2]

It sounds like you had a good relationship with your previous mentor.

I found the requirement for mentoring "compulsory" at an earlier phase of my career. In fact I made it a point on my last job search (about 12 years ago) that I had to have a mentor and actually turned down a job since there would not be anybody to fit that requirement. I had worked for two previous companies short term (1 year each) and one of the main reasons I was not still working for them was I needed a mentor. I had the technical knowledge, just not job specific knowledge. Once I found a company that would provide this mentoring, I worked under him (now work along side him) and am even mentoring other engineers now.

Personally I do not see your request as obsessive, but maybe I am obsessive as well.

Since you seem to have some variety to what you want, maybe find more than a single mentor who could help you. Even if an individual is not a "mentor" to you, you can still learn something from them - even if it is what not to do.

 

[TehMightyEngineer]

Who needs a mentor when you have eng-tips?

(Semi-serious here, while it's not a true replacement for a mentor a lot of answers can be found on these forums if you're good at self-teaching)

Professional and Structural Engineer (ME, NH, MA)
American Concrete Industries

http://www.americanconcrete.com

 

[FreddyNurk]

I, for one, seem to have made an unintentional career out of managing without mentorship in previous employment, rather in a few cases I was thrown in the deep and somehow managed to make it back to shore every time.

That's not to say that I'm somehow superior as I didn't get that sort of guidance, or that it'll work for everybody (there's certainly an element of risk in not having someone senior to avoid some of the more critical mistakes), but in a lot of cases you end up getting the guidance you need in ways you may not expect, particularly if you're hung up on having a formal mentor.

I'd learned a lot over the years in disciplines other than my own through fellow employees and being involved in projects, without the formal guidance that you appear to be seeking. I'd probably go as far as to suggest that part of your issue is that you miss your old work colleague.

IRStuff's summary appears to be accurate from the presentation that we can see here.

 

[KENAT]

PEDARRIN2 - my comments take into account other posts by the OP in other forums. They are not meant to discount the benefit of mentors.

Posting guidelines faq731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

(probably not aimed specifically at you)
What is Engineering anyway: faq1088-1484​

 

[Ron]

BSME....you seem to be looking more for personal validation than mentorship. I'm sorry your mentor passed and that you feel you have no fallback; however, your handle indicates Class of 2012....that's 4 years ago. At some point you have to stand on your own if no mentor is available, and also at some point you have to prepare to become a mentor for someone else.

 

[BSMEclassof2012]

Ron,
Yes it is shameful that I have gotten this far without ever having resolved these issues.

 

[dvd]

BSME - I am a lot older than you and I still wish that I had a mentor somedays. It is nice to talk with someone who treats you kindly and seems to have an interest in passing along their wisdom and helping you to learn, sometimes painfully. Best of luck. You have a better chance of getting what you want by actively seeking.

 

[FeX32]

I would suggest flipping the thought train.

In reality you will be very lucky to have a good mentor even for a small fraction of your career.
The best of us eventually learn to mentor ourselves and become self reliant. I suggest to set this as your ultimate goal. When you have something to get through, try as hard as you can to first clear your mind and think of a solution yourself before you think of asking anyone. Eventually, you will always come up with better solutions than anyone you ask. (at least this is what you should strive for)
This is when you are self reliant and a true engineer.

I'm not saying never to ask for aid. Engineering usually involves teams and involvement of each member is necessary for success. But do strive for self resilience and reliance.

 

[moltenmetal]

Mentorship on the job is likely to be much more effective than having a retired engineer spend an hour or two with you once a month over coffee. I have a hard time seeing how one of those mentorship programs offered through a professional organization or licensure body could amount to much more than that. Mentorship does take some work if it's going to be useful. Who knows- maybe there are working engineers who find it valuable to spend significant amounts of their time away from their own jobs, families and the rest of their lives, to provide meaningful help to individual young engineers who are strangers to them and who don't work for the same company. I'm just having a hard time imagining what their motivation might be for doing so, but I guess there are people who derive personal satisfaction from doing so and good for them. If you can find such a person, good for you.

Don't forget that you don't need to be in a mentorship relationship with people to learn from them. All you need to do is talk to them. You'd be surprised just how much some people will tell you if you merely express some interest in what they're doing. And don't just seek to learn from people who you admire: some of the best lessons are the lessons of what to avoid and what not to do, which can be gained by observing people that you dislike! Fools learn only from their own mistakes- wise people learn also from the mistakes of others.

After four years your need for mentorship should be declining rather steeply. You should be building your own experience and making your own decisions, and learning from having the weight of that responsibility on your own shoulders. While asking for and seeking help is better than wallowing but doing nothing about it, at a certain point you need to stand on your own two feet. If I were your mentor, I think that's what I'd be coaching you to do. All I know of you is what you ask in these forums, so it's likely I've got you entirely wrong, but that's the impression I've developed from your questions here so far.

 

[truckandbus]

You were fortunate to have access to a mentor that covered that broad range of topics.

Sorry for your loss as it appears you are grieving.

You need to break down the areas you want to improve in into manageable chunks and find appropriate multiple mentors for each chunk. As you are a junior engineer your supervisor should assist in the goal setting and proofing memoranda. For the state of engineering or state of the industry you should look to either an on-line forum or real-life meet up group. For personal development and language issues yo could check out community colleges for ESL courses or communications courses for technical people

 

[Sparweb]

BSME,
Like you, I benefited greatly from a few mentors in my early career. Also like you, one of them has passed away already, but another is still around so I still get to bend his ear from time to time.
I think you're a big step ahead already, because it sounds like you have identified a few areas of professional/personal growth you want to target. There are an infinite number of ways you can go from here, but from now on you get the credit for your own good ideas.

STF