Helpful/Friendly Senior Turned Over-friendly 22

[mizzjoey]

Hi everyone.

I kind of have an awkward situation right now. Don't know if I actually have a situation or I should just loosen up, in fact.

I'm close to one senior engineer from a previous job; he was very helpful when I was working with him previously and we're both working our postgraduate thesis at the same faculty on part time basis. So now I see him every weekend at the lab for discussion with our two lecturers. And of course we're in the same industry and him being very knowledgeable makes him a useful contact.

I used to be okay with him because he was sort of a big brother to me. He's about 15 yrs my senior, married and I'm on great terms with his lovely wife. But lately he's being a bit too friendly and eventhough I said no to his outing invitations all the time he just doesn't notice that he's making me uncomfortable. I doubt he's being like this on purpose; he's a bit on the geeky and socially-awkward side.

Say you're the senior engineer, how would you like to be gently explained that your junior would like you to stop asking her to hang out on weekends?

At least, I'd like him to stop asking me out for a swim everytime we finish lab... I told him every single time that I don't find the idea of looking at him in skimpy spandex particularly appealing, but he would just say that's because I haven't seen how good he looks in them.

Plus he's been asking me out for a movie lately, and the last time was half an hour ago in an email.

Maybe I should stop being a prude?
jo

 

[mizzjoey]

Oh... and there I was thinking that I'm fun enough as a friend and lab-mate (to Mr Senior) without having to drag my gender into the relationship as a benefit to the other party...

Before the swimming invitations began and turned into an annoyance I really enjoyed the conversations that I had with this senior and thought he was really cool :-(

 

[jyro]

tell him " my boyfriend is going to kick your ass if you ask me out again". He'll get the point.

 

[Drumchaser]

This horse has been flogged, post-mortem.



I think seniors wife should do a penisectomy.

He should be in a more mentoring state of mind after the swelling goes down. And mizzjoey will have no worrries, even at the pool.

 

[ivymike]

...unless he goes out and gets an addedictomy afterward!

 

[csd72]

two letters N and O go a long way. Communication.

 

[cloa]

Of course, your direct communication might be correct for you. I see your other choice might be to get involved in excessive active general exercise that you as a younger person could do. The next day when he's troubled by soreness in every part of his body- he'll certainly reconsider ever getting too involved with you.

 

[Cutiee]

Hey Jo

Don’t know if anyone suggested this, but next time when he asks you out, just tell him that you’ve got to meet your boyfriend, or go on a date…

I understand your situation, I work in an engineering company, and I’m surrounded by male co-workers, I got asked out by a few people as soon as I started to work there, one of them was married and wanted affair… but luckily, they are not 'older' seniors...(easier to reject)

Good luck...


Cutie