How can I deal with a harrassing boss 13

[vancouverman]

I am stressed to the limits. I no longer feel like going to work everyday as I get a sick feeling in my stomach as I approach work. I constantly get butterflies in my stomach as I head to my boss' office knowing that no matter how good my reports are, I will be criticized for every single detail. I have started losing focus and concentration at work as I am beginning to feel unmotivated due to the bullying. I keep telling myself I still dont have my PEng so I need to suck it up and get the experience, but how long can I do this for when I feel I am getting depressed and losing sleep? I know others working for the same boss receive similar treatment but I don't feel that they want to take action as they are afraid to speak up.

I am a contractor so I am not sure how much Human Resources at the company can do for me but my headhunter doesnt seem to be doing much as all he is concerned about is his bottom line.

Any tips?

 

[KENAT]

Where's the bullying? I've known people that got bullied at work, and you haven't presented anything that really qualifies.

I spent a year or two where my main task was checking other folks work. Sometimes there'd be a lot of red pencil on them. Sometimes they'd have to go round the loop quite a few times - usually because people hadn't incorporated the changes properly or had introduced new errors or sometimes I maybe hadn't been quite clear in what I wanted. Occasionally I changed my mind on something after I'd seen it properly incorporated.

Are you sure your reports are really that good when you give them to him? I've received drawings from experienced folks that were shocking and ended up covered in red. I've got drawings from interns that barely had any. Just because you've been doing it a while doesn't mean you're doing it the way it needs to be done for your current 'customer'.

As a contractor, you get paid the same to erase something and re-write it as you did to write it the first time so what's the issue?

Posting guidelines faq731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

(probably not aimed specifically at you)
What is Engineering anyway: faq1088-1484​

 

[FSS]

Have someone else look at your work and the comments from your reviews. Need to determine if your boss is correct technically before you choose your course of action.

 

[atlengpe]

Sometimes older bosses like to get their employees pissed off or riled up to get them to work harder. You need to find a way to let him know that that's not how you work. If he yells at or offends you, call in sick the next day (no more than once/month)... Let him pay for it. When he's quiet and subdued and away from you, work hard. Whenever he acts bad you act bad in return. This is a team environment, you are all on equal levels. You are doing all the work, not him. If he impedes your work then HE will have to suffer, not you.

Eventually he'll figure out how you should be managed. If he doesn't then that's his loss not yours. Enjoy his money. enjoy life. Don't let him get to you.

 

[tickle]

Sorry atlengpe your post appears to be very childish/unprofessional/gen y "if he offends you, call in sick the next day". Seems like a one way ticket to not having the contract renewed.

My suggestion is learn how to manage your manager and take responsibility for your own actions

 

[atlengpe]

I'm not sure about your experience, tickle, but I think I'm in a good position to offer advice. I just got my PE in Dec. after dealing with a harassing boss for several years so that I could get my PE. It's been almost a year and I'm still emotionally somewhat damaged from the experience. I see a lot more posts like this from engineers than I do in many other professions.

The OP shouldn't be thinking in terms of PE. The licensing requirements have really jaded this profession severely. I spent several years dealing with the anguish of my boss so I could take some stupid test that I passed first time, and I'm still waiting on the benefits of my PE.

But I recommend the OP have 10-20K saved up or other prospects before he does anything that could get him fired and not qualify for unemployment assistance. IF you are lucky, like I was, you will be laid off for the economy. It was the best day of my life for the past 5 years.

One might argue "but he's learning more" That's also B.S. I learned 10X more under a previous boss in 25% of the time because we got along and had a mutual respect.

 

[tickle]

I have more experience than altengpe, and have worked for numerous managers, some of their actions and behaviours are great and some atrocious. Each have different strengths and weaknesses, meaning that there is always something to learn from them. I am now in a management position. Also my wife is a psychologist who has offered sage advise on how to manage and how to react/cope. One of my favorite comments from her is - you can only change how you react.

Sorry, taking a sicky when somebody shouts at you does not solve the problem, it will still be there when you go back to work (if the job is still there). Behaving in a tit for tat manner is unprofessional and what I would expect from my six year old.

 

[stanier]

Next time you are in front him look at part of his face with a very worried look. Appear not to be listening to him Ask him directly if he is OK. Grab his wrist and feel his pulse shaking your head. Let him know you studied medicine before becoming an engineer. That you are worried as his eye is twitching and you relative died recently from stress.

Phone his wife and tell her you are concerned about his mental health.

Let others fight your battle. you are elaving anyway so waht do you care. Have some fun.

 

[beej67]

Go get a Master's Degree. Counts for 1 year of PE experience and you learn a lot more than you will as a contractor for an angry boss.

Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East -

http://www.campbellcivil.com

 

[atlengpe]

"Sorry, taking a sicky when somebody shouts at you does not solve the problem, it will still be there when you go back to work (if the job is still there). Behaving in a tit for tat manner is unprofessional and what I would expect from my six year old. "

Who said anything about solving a problem? The damage is done already. As long as you are being PAID for sick days then take them. I highly doubt that your six year old has to put up with the same abuse as the OP.... well that's just my ASSUMPTION

 

[atlengpe]

Oh, maybe you think that because he's a "PE" and "more experienced" he's better? BFFF... THAT's the problem with this profession. People are so out of whack and outdated and don't understand the real business world today.

ANY profession where years of experience is your qualification is a dead profession and doesn't represent the capitalist market at all if you've bothered to LOOK at the economy ever.

 

[ash9144]

Atl
I don't think giving advice based on your own bitterness towards your previous employer is really of any benefit.

I used to work for a Japanese company and my Japanese boss once gave me a bit of advice from their culture which I find to be of great value.

"It takes two to fight"

Maybe that can help you.

 

[mauricestoker]

I'll remember that one on 7 December.

It may take two to fight, but if you don't defend yourself, it's not a fight, it's an azzwhupping.

 

[apsix]

atlengpe

"If he yells at or offends you, call in sick the next day"

I thought that this advice was given on the assumption that as a contractor the OP wouldn't be paid for sick days.

As you have now clarified that the expectation is that the OP will be paid, your advice is basically a recommendation to STEAL.

 

[BAretired]

vancouverman,

I cannot comment very intelligently on your situation because I have never worked for an unreasonable boss so perhaps I do not understand your dilemma. I believe you have received some very good advice and some very bad advice so far on this forum.

My suggestion to you is to examine the documents you present for your boss's approval. If his criticism is unfair, tell him so, in no uncertain terms. If his criticism is valid, do not be afraid to admit to that either. If he is any kind of a man, he will respect you for it.

Strive to improve the quality of your work, but if you are convinced that there is nothing you can do to satisfy his requirements, then look for another job.

BA

 

[mauricestoker]

The real obvious solution is to marry a castrating, nagging, argumentative and ugly hag of a woman. That way work would be a relief and you'll never want to go home.

 

[stanier]

It may take two to fight but it takes one to win.

There is no place in the work place for bullies. Go over his head but be prepared to accept the consequences. Your future there is doomed in any event but you might get some action that would prevent it happening again to some other poor unfortunate person.

As a contractor you have mobility but you dont have the protection that an employee may have. You also have self respect. Your call whether you stand up for yourself and tell the boss he is a bully. Bullies are cowards that is why they behave as they do. It is to make up for their own inferiority.

 

[KENAT]

Wow, this one has legs, and the OP hasn't even made a clear case that they're being bullied.

The OP made a case that the boss was somewhat demanding in the quality he demands and perhaps nit-picky.

However, that in itself is far from bullying.

Has the boss threatened you?

Has he insulted you or the like?

Certainly doesn't sound like he singles you out for this behavior.

Maybe it's more a case of a micro-manager than a bully.

Posting guidelines faq731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

(probably not aimed specifically at you)
What is Engineering anyway: faq1088-1484​

 

[stanier]

Critising without constructive help is a form of bullying however subtle. If someone is not delivering up to a standard you teach them.

The original posting was from someone who is "stressed out". If the poster is totally incapable the best advice would be to show them the door. A reality check that may enable them to change their career and do something else.

What ever the facts the matter needs to be brought to head and not left to fester.

 

[stanier]

Just read the bit about taking a "sickie and getting paid for it". Doesnt sound like a contractor to me. This is a pseudo employee. Beware the tax man!

Best advice is from BAretired.

 

[sow]

As somebody who manages other engineers, I can only say that some grads are pretty awful at taking on board suggestions for improvement, and you need to understand that you are asking him to take responsibilty for your work, he is there for a reason and therefore you have to produce work to his standard. If I have people who persist in making my job harder than it needs to be, I refuse to work with them.

Im sure he would have got rid of you if you were that bad, but it seems to me that ypu need to take heed of what he says a little more, I can assure you he does not want to be red penning reports time after time.