How to resolve issue with boss? 22

[MechOEngg]

Hello everyone.

After completing one year in my company i am end up with perplexed and bothering situation. So this situation has 2 bosses so let me address them with New Boss and Old Boss. Brief Introduction:

Old Boss had two departments, Department1 and Department2. My department (Department1) was given to New Boss because of change in organisation structure. And at same time Old Boss wanted me to shift to Department2 but i refused and expressed my willingness to work in Department1.
Situation:

With old boss:
I feel my old boss is angry with me because of this as his attitude changed towards me(responding coldly while greeting morning, avoiding talks with me). Most disturbing was not wising me birthday in front of others, wishing when i was alone that too in afternoon, despite that we sit in same room.

With new Boss:
Initially everything was normal but from 15-20 days i am feeling something is not good.
Presently i am not loaded with much work so me and boss interact very rarely and i am new to PM and still learning procedures so i ask him questions or confirm data in mails before sending.

let me tell some situations:

1) I called my boss and he did not pick neither called me back, It is strange because either he pick or call back in such cases.It happened twice.I asked him to give some work to me as i was free, he said i am busy & asked me to came after half an hour, i came after half an hour and he said he will call me on his own but he did not call. This also happened twice.
2) I went to him to ask something in afternoon and he said; Ahh u came to office?? (We sit in same room so not possible he did not see me) This has happened for three days in row. On third day i joked him saying, Sir i will change my seat and put it in front of yours so that you can see me..
3) Worst one: He did not wished me bithday,(May be he did not see me again) .


i do not understand why is this happening. And i am really bothered with this. what should i do??I was thinking to tell my bosses what i am feeling. Please advice me is this good idea to tell them?.

Now let me tell you something about me.I am suffering from social anxiety.I have low esteem, fear, jealousy bad interpersonal skills etc.I know this from 3 years and now situation has improved but still alot needs to be done. It really haunts as i have lost my previous job because of this. and i do not want to lose this. Please help.

 

[GregLocock]

"I was thinking to tell my bosses what i am feeling."

Yes. I'd talk to your old boss first as he obviously does appreciate you. You seem curiously obsessed by birthdays!

Cheers

Greg Locock


New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376

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[Jboggs]

I think this is the source of your problem: "but i refused".

Bosses appreciate team players.

 

[MechOEngg]

@Jboggs I have already spent one year in PM & moreover i like working in it. Is it a problem in expressing willingness?? And what about Boss2???

 

[Jboggs]

"I have already spent one year in PM & moreover i like working in it"
You like keeping your job? A good employee (one that gets future promotions) is one that helps out where needed when needed.

"Is it a problem in expressing willingness?" No. "Expressing willingness" and "refusing" are two very different things. Maybe its just a language thing.

"what about Boss2?" A man can only serve one master. You should ask your two bosses to talk and to tell you which one you really work for.

 

[MechOEngg]

"You should ask your two bosses to talk and to tell you which one you really work for"
I am working for Boss2 only.
Thanks for your response

 

[IRstuff]

Welcome to the world internal politics. I have a personal theory that most people do little maturation beyond age 12. Churlish and childish behavior is not limited to the grade school playground. Unfortunately, because people do behave like children, there may not be a solution, as evidenced by people murdering spouses and children for divorcing them. Nevertheless, you need to ask Boss2, point blank, why this situation is occurring, preferably behind closed doors. Hopefully, you get the answer you expect. Then, do the same with Boss2, and see if you can come to some sort of accommodation. However, be prepared for the worst, i.e., leaving the company.

TTFN
faq731-376

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[MechOEngg]

@IRstuff Thanks for your advice. I was also thinking same. I am going to ask Boss1 about this on Monday.

 

[oldestguy]

A hard lesson to learn early in life. Don't argue foolishly with the boss and have results like this. I know of two engineers that gave the boss stupid arguments,like they knew better. Each had significant problems there after. One quit the job and, because of that, never was able to get a good job due to bad references from that past employer. Moral: Hold your tongue.

 

[rowingengineer]

I am the boss so I can't really give much help from the other side, but two things I feel you should be aware of.

1. Birthdays after the age of 21 don't count any more. I don't know any of my employees birthdays and if I did by chance wish them birthday it would be because someone else had told me too.

2. Sometimes we are busy, so busy that we don't really have the time for you or your lack of work issue. We may not have work for you and maybe spending our time finding more work. We may say come back in half an hour, but we really mean, see me in a few days.

http://www.nceng.com.au/

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

 

[Compositepro]

Reading the original post, I was struck with a feeling of deja vu. This is why:

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing..' I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I
loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around
us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

A two-foot putt...who the hell misses a two-foot putt ?

 

[MechOEngg]

@ oldestguy Thank you for your valuable advice.

 

[GregLocock]

"They know exactly how you feel and they play with you as they wish. "

Perhaps there are companies where managers have the time and inclination to behave like typecast 15 year old schoolgirls in a movie, but I've never seen one.

Cheers

Greg Locock


New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

 

[squeeky]

Dear MechOmegg,

I wish I had no work. I don't know what field you are in but it looks like mechanical ??? What a wonderful opportunity you have. You can always show initive and redo some of the previous work and with hindsight improve where things went wrong. Do a workout to find out where systems can be improved especially communication and data storage. Work on your computer filing system. Research ideas for new projects. Start studying.Learn another language. So many opportunities.

 

[Mechomatic]

As a young engineer, I would reply with this advice-

Yes, you made a mistake by saying "no" to your old boss. At this point, that is done and in the past, so just move forward.

If your new boss is your direct supervisor, that is who you should be contacting for work if you need something productive to do. You can tell your current boss that you are flexible and would be willing to work for your old boss if the need arises (and your new boss can spare you from his team). But it is his decision, not yours, so don't go asking other people for work outside of your department.

Continue to be friendly with your old boss, but know that you are colleagues rather than co-workers or employee/supervisor unless your new boss sets you to do something for your old boss.

On the personal side of things, don't worry what people do or do not say (birthdays, compliments, praise for your work, etc). Your own positive attitude toward your work and your environment (co-workers, office space, etc) will help you feel that sense of job satisfaction even if you aren't receiving lots of positive feedback. People, whether they are bosses, co-workers, or that guy in the cubical at the far end of the office, are going to behave differently day-to-day depending on what they are experiencing. CompositePro's post about the husband and wife's diaries is told as a joke, but it is a truism of humand nature. Everybody has their own problems. Don't let another person's bad attitude because they stubbed their toe bring your down!

The last thing I'll add is to reiterate what Squeeky said: if you need something to do and have nothing related to current projects on your desk, then make something to do! There are always organization tools you can set up for yourself, spreadsheets you can make to help speed along common calculations, references you can consolidate (whether it's conversion factors, typical dimensions, physical constants, property tables, etc)- you name it, there is something you can be working on to make day-to-day tasks easier and/or faster.

 

[SEP87]

I've just found this topic and am slightly surprised by some of the answers. I have a great boss and therefore perhaps I am naive in my expectations.

If I was in a department I liked, doing a role I liked then given the option to move; I would stay where I was. If your old boss's role is changing why should your career turn away from what you want to do? If he wants you to move with him into department 2 then he must like you and appreciate your work. If he is a decent boss then surely he should understand that your current role is important to you and that moving departments would not be (in your opinion) your best option.

I also disagree with:

2. Sometimes we are busy, so busy that we don't really have the time for you or your lack of work issue. We may not have work for you and maybe spending our time finding more work. We may say come back in half an hour, but we really mean, see me in a few days.

In my opinion communication is key to good leadership. If a boss communicates that he doesn't have time to find work, or that there is no work, or that he's trying to find work then fair enough. But to just answer with "Come back in half an hour" is a complete waste of everybody's time unless you actually want them to come back in half an hour. This sort of fob-off demonstrates a complete lack of value in an employee and is thoroughly demotivating.

Anyone who simply says "I'm too busy" is actually saying "I can't be bothered to spend 2 minutes in addressing your issue; you're not important enough". If you are in the middle of something then suggest discussing it in half an hour (but mean it!). After all, how long does it really take to communicate if there is any work going or to suggest useful things that could be done in the meantime?

Also how can you establish a good working relationship with a boss who repeated says he will call you and then does absolutely nothing?

Whilst i agree that:

A good employee (one that gets future promotions) is one that helps out where needed when needed.

I think that switching departments into a field that does not interest you is slightly more demanding than helping people out occasionally.

To get the most out of an employee you ideally want him to feel valued and you want him to be working in a role that he enjoys. Making someone feel valued is easy - how can blatantly undervaluing someone be good for the company? Also with so many people being dissatisfied with their work roles how can moving someone who actually is satisfied in their current role be good for anyone involved?

I do think you are over-thinking things slightly and perhaps reading too much into small details, but I do not believe you made a mistake in not switching departments just to please a boss. Also whilst there are always useful things you can do when there is a lack of work. I don't think you should be discouraged from seeking more relevant work from your boss. If he was a decent boss who bothered to try and create a good working relationship he would already know you had limited work and would be assisting you in finding things to do.

This may be a very naive opinion, but I believe that encouraging and motivating people is one of the most key roles of being a boss. Anyone can lock them self in an office, put a 'boss' sign on the door and get on with their work. But young engineers do require occasional motivation and guidance. How can experience be gained and people develop if those at the top aren't interested?

I appreciate this sounds like a bit of a rant but it's something I feel quite strongly about. Becoming a good engineer takes a long time and a lot of effort, it doesn't happen overnight, and it can't happen without experienced people taking the time to help.

 

[rowingengineer]

SEP87,
I think your possibility missing a few very important items in your assessment of a situation. I'm gad you have a good boss, but not everyone does and most bosses have quirks that you need to understand and deal with.

"After all, how long does it really take to communicate if there is any work going or to suggest useful things that could be done in the meantime?" Depending on the employee this task could take up few hours or more.

There is two sides to every fence, generally your only allowed to paint your side, ie it maybe a waste of your and everyone time, but the boss is the boss and he generally is allowed to waste your time if he wants to, it is up to you if you let this get to you or you play along.

http://www.nceng.com.au/

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."

 

[SEP87]

I completely agree that bosses have their quirks, I also completely agree that it's a bosses prerogative to waste his/her employees' time. However this doesn't help the company, it doesn't motivate the employees, and the boss loses respect. So all in all it's probably a poor way to manage people.

I believe you are right that explaining in detail about the current work load and possible alternatives could take more time than preferred with certain employees. However there are surely better ways to deal with this situation than to tell the employee you are too busy for them, or to say you'll call them in half an hour (when you know you won't).

But I'm still fairly young and don't have managerial experience yet, so what do I know?

 

[Guest262653]

What issue?

 

[SAK9]

You have not said at what stage of your career you are .It certainly has a bearing on what direction you need to take.It is clear that your old boss is not happy with your decision to stay on in the department and it is quite possible that he has managed to poison the mind of your new boss in regard to your abilities and performance.
You have also mentioned that you are new to PM(Project Management?).Therefore it is quite possible that your new boss does not want to load you with any important work.If I were you,I would request a meeting with the current boss to discuss how you you can contribute more to the group.This could be by of assisting someone who is overloaded or doing any other work relevant to the department.Do your research and put a few options in front of him so he does not need to "look into" it.You need to prove to him that you are a reliable and competent person.
A sensible boss can not turn away a worker who wants to contribute more.If he does,it is time to pack your bags.It is just a matter of time when you will be on the road again with such a boss.
On a different note you need to seek help to get rid of your low esteem, fear, jealousy and bad interpersonal skills.