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meaningless greetings 6

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HgTX

HgTX

Civil/Environmental
Aug 3, 2004
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It's not an obstacle to getting my work done, but since most of my human interaction happens at work I guess it's work-related.

First there was the empty "How are you?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Fine". And its cousin, "What's up?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Nothin' much."

Okay, I got those.

Then there was "What's going on?" which seemed, in contrast to "What's up?", to be a real question rather than a formulaic greeting, but no, it wasn't. It was just a variant on "What's up?".

Okay, fine, I learned that.

The latest, though, is where someone in passing asks a specific question about some social aspect of my life--and then seems dismayed when I waste their time answering it with a full sentence or two.

Dammit, if you mean hello, just say hello. I don't want to have to go through life assuming that every non-technical question aimed in my direction is insincere. I'm cranky enough as it is.

Hg

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I know a guy that would actually tell you what he is doing, or how he is feeling. Really funny when you are on the observing end and not the asking for it end.
 
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I know the feeling, I've heard them all. It's stress and you don't want to hear it. Just say "Hi" and if they want more info, just politely respond you don't want to talk about it and continue on your way. Eventually they will stop.

Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
 
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You can say hi. Just don't ask how my day's going unless you actually want to know.

I must be socially retarded. It never occurs to me to ask questions if I don't plan to listen to the answer.

So I feel like an idiot when I actually answer someone's social question and by the fourth word (not the fourth paragraph) the person's trying to get away from me because the expected answer, depending on the sentence structure of the question, was either "yup" or "fine".

But I hate the thought of assuming that all social questions are that insincere.

I'm not talking about a "whassup" in the hallway. I'm talking about specific questions along the lines of "How's your [injury or other medical condition]?" or "Do any [hobby] this weekend?"

The answer to those is to be nothing more than "fine/better" and "yup/nope". What the hell is the point? Asking the question is not a polite show of interest; asking the question and getting a brief answer is a polite show of interest. Asking the question and not waiting for an answer is some kind of weird scoring system where you get points for revealing that you know details about someone else.

Hg

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I've learned that, "How was your weekend?" oftentimes means, "Let me tell you about MY weekend."

Depending on my mood, I'll give a brief answer about my weekend and refuse to ask in return. Mind you, I don't have many friends. ;-)

Cheers,
CanuckMiner
 
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Someone once asked me passing in the hallway "Hi, how are you?" (which I hate). I said "good" (pause). He said "Aren't you going to ask how am I doing?!" I said "Why?? You came to work and you are mentally capable of asking me a question, I assume you are fine, why take it to another level?!"
He doesn't ask me anything anymore. ;)

Chris
SolidWorks/PDMWorks 08 3.1
AutoCAD 06/08
ctopher's home (updated Jul 13, 2008)
 
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I always answer with an over-the-top superlative. "How are you?" I answer "WONDERFUL, and you?" It breaks the script and you can really get some great stuttered responses.

David
 
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Or FANTASTIC.

My other option is, "can't/musn't grumble, and no one would listen if I did anyway"

KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
 
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Sometimes I think I'm not a stereotypical engineer at all.

But, this thread reminds me that I am, in fact, an engineer.

Why do people ask questions they don't want the answer to? Why should I be forced to essentially lie that every day of my life is the best one yet?

Person: Hey, what's up?
Me: Well I've been out all week with food poisoning.
Person: Uh, OK, bye.
Me: Oops.
 
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Or you can answer "as well as can be expected" which then means whatever you and the listener wish it to mean, and you don't have to lie and say "Fine thanks, and you?". That always gets a pause. I'm also anti generic greeting. Keep 'em guessing and on their toes.
 
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What I hate most is the meaningless small-talk some people insist on making while standing next to you in the loo. What if you've finished before the conversation has. Is it rude to just walk out?

- Steve
 
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I like to go with one of two answers to the trivial question from a workmate ('How are ya?)

1. 'Average', usually stops a conversation dead

or

2. 'Best ever, my life is a continual sequence of happy events', usually gets a bemused look, but no more conversation

Kevin

“It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown

"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
 
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book excerpt from amazon

check out page 15 of "moon is a harsh mistress" by Heinlein... it describes a conversation between a technician and a computer. Computer initiates with "hello man." tech responds with "what do you know?" after which the computer begins to recite Genesis.

An excerpt:
"You asked what I knew." His binary read-out lights rippled back and forth--a chuckle. Mike could laugh with voder, a horrible sound, but reserved that for something really funny, say a cosmic calamity.
"Should have said," I went on," 'What do you know that's new?' But don't read out today's papers; that was a friendly greeting, plus invitation to tell me anything you think would interest me. Otherwise null program."

 
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I think you're all socially inept. The person is asking the question in a misguided and futile attempt to be friendly and you're answering in a mistaken belief that they really care. I tend to just go with hello, (the Swedish) hej, or a nod of the head to acknowledge someone and nothing else. If the person is not your doctor/lawyer/clergyman than they cannot help you discuss it with them. Mention the weather, recent events in the news, etc. if small talk is necesaary.
 
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My favorite....

When someone, usually a cashier, replies with "Have a nice Day". I sometimes respond with "I have other plans". It's usually true and it gets some surprising looks.
 
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