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meaningless greetings 6

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HgTX

HgTX

Civil/Environmental
Aug 3, 2004
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It's not an obstacle to getting my work done, but since most of my human interaction happens at work I guess it's work-related.

First there was the empty "How are you?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Fine". And its cousin, "What's up?" to which the only appropriate answer is "Nothin' much."

Okay, I got those.

Then there was "What's going on?" which seemed, in contrast to "What's up?", to be a real question rather than a formulaic greeting, but no, it wasn't. It was just a variant on "What's up?".

Okay, fine, I learned that.

The latest, though, is where someone in passing asks a specific question about some social aspect of my life--and then seems dismayed when I waste their time answering it with a full sentence or two.

Dammit, if you mean hello, just say hello. I don't want to have to go through life assuming that every non-technical question aimed in my direction is insincere. I'm cranky enough as it is.

Hg

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My greetings are generally limited to saying good morning to my office partner. Or something like, 'hey, Hg, nice pistol. Is that a Glock?"



"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"
 
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HgTX, you've been on a role the last few days with posting. How are you? [upsidedown]

There are a few around here that ask a specific question, "How are you doing this morning?" I give specific answers, especially if I know they are only asking it rhetorically and are in a hurry to get someplace. If I know the question was meant to be "Hello", I either reply with:
'morning.
Hey...
Good. You?

Sometimes when I am in the mood, I'll say, "Smellin' roses on the sunny-side of Easy Street!" This always garners a second look.

"Art without engineering is dreaming; Engineering without art is calculating."

Have you read faq731-376 to make the be
 
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I seem to be much better today. Yesterday afternoon I had some catnip tea--you see, catnip is supposed to have the opposite effect on humans as it does on cats, and...Hey! Where are you going?

Hg

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Sompting, it may be a sign of some of the dubious establishments/facilities I've used the toilet in but if someone talks to me while I'm in the loo my first reaction is to stop ASAP and get out of there.

Was a time back it the UK where gents toilets were a no conversation zone unless you were an adult supevising a small child. I miss those days.

eliebl, that's cruel. Having worked as a cashier I'm now more sympathetic to them. Don't get me wrong a lot of them do suck and ask for it but at the rate most of them are paid and the way they get treated, have a heart.

KENAT, probably the least qualified checker you'll ever meet...
 
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We have some loo conversation-starters around here. I'm willing to continue a conversation I was having on the way in, but I generally don't see the loo as an opportunity to just strike up a chat. And it's the loo-conversers who actually *do* want to have the full conversation. (When they're not on their cell phones during the proceedings!)

Hg

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Cashiers:

Little girl grocery cashier: (after totaling my groceries) "Sir, do you wish to contribute a dollar to the Children's Miracle Network?"

Me: "Yeah, I guess that after a day of squandering the earth's resources and polluting the ecosystem, it'll be good for my karma."

LGGC: "Did you REALLY do that?"

Me: "Sure. On my shoulders is the wight of your way of life. I'm up for it."

LGGC: (smile, with question marks all over it)

Me: "Thank you, sweetie!"

I love being me...

old field guy
 
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I have learned over time that there a lot of answers that nobody wants/likes to hear to the 'How are ya?' question

1. S**t and thanks coz you've made it a f**k load worse

2. Good, that flakey stuff around my k**b has finally cured itself. I told you I wouldn't have to go to the doctor. If you wouldn't mind telling others that they can safely use the toilets again I'd really appreciate the help.

3. (At the top of you're voice) AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH, behind you. Whatever you do don't move.

4. Awful, my wife has PMT and is taking it out on me again.

5. Excellent, would you like to talk about conversion to my religion.

Kevin

“It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class." ~Author Unknown

"If two wrongs don't make a right, try three." ~Author Unknown
 
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This string made me laugh.....................Thanks!!!

That is one of my pet peeves also. Shallow self absorbed people do this all the time. My response is normally "Im' here". That ends most of it. Even worse are those boneheads that do this in meetings. "Hey Helicopter what is your opinion of why the dussle actuator arm is breaking?"
"Well, I think it may be related to..........interuption.." "Thanks". "Hey,let's move on to the powerpoint presentation that Ted prepared."

I put up with this crap for awhile and then I would just start in talking again like the guy with the stapler in Office Spaces. "I am going to burn this place down if no one wants to listen". "I will burn it down."
 
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From this week at work:

"How ya doing?" - "Great, I've just resigned. How 'bout you?"

"Are you winning?" - "Two-nil down with five minutes to go."

And for those who talk while in the loo, if I'm already installed in one of the traps, I sit in silence for a few moments while they chat then I put on a show of straining, groaning, choking, gagging sounds. Conversation dies real quick.


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If we learn from our mistakes I'm getting a great education!
 
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"Uh oh, it's a gray area social situation. Do I know this guy well enough to say hi, or just look away?"
"So I went with the ambiguous tight-lipped smile that could be confused with a stomach ache."
"Your stories suck".
- Dilbert, recounting his day to Dogbert
 
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Continuing the loo theme...

So I'm squeezed into the crowd of fellow sprinklers in a pub somewhere in England. A biker friend of mine squeezes in next to me, looks at me, looks down and says in a loud voice: "I see the scabs have healed up then!". Talk about ice-breakers.

- Steve
 
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My friend and his wife are walking along the street.
He was obviously totally unaware that he'd done anything wrong (who among us ever is and heh, there's no way to anticipate significant others punishments anyway... so I guess it doesn't matter).

Anyway, walking ahead of them is a lady in a large and flamboyant hat.
Suddenly, and in a loud voice my friends wife says: "Well, I think it is a very nice hat."
The lady in question turns sharply and glares at my friend like she is going to cut him into small pieces. He has nowhere to hide.
He notes the satisfied look on significant others face.

(This is far more subtle than my significant other ever is. I envy him.)

And yes, I too prefer the monastic silence days of the gents loos.

I wonder if this isn't a hangover from the old pub days when the toilets were often just a wall under a shed roof outside the bar (and frequently unlit which made for interesting experiences) and to talk was to breath and to breath could sometimes make you bring up all the more recent beers through the mouth and nose.

Of course, today they've gone all soft with indoor loos and hygiene and all, not forgetting the auto-flush and scented blocks to pee on in the hopes they'll dissolve more quickly.

Why is it that in the UK supermarkets they've all started asking stupid questions at the checkout:

My shopping is on the conveyor, I have a carrier bag open and ready and I'm not obviously a paraplegic. "Would you like some help with your packing?"
Given a choice, I'd rather the customer services team taught them to say "please" and "thank you".

JMW
 
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Back in my bicycle courier days in Chicago, I was exiting a high rise behind two suits, and they asked the doorman/security guard how he was. He replied, "Just another day in paradise. Couldn't ask for anything better than this."
I laughed out loud.
 
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