Resigning gracefully... 4

[EngineerDave]

Most likely tomorrow I will be resigning from my job at a company. I have been there a little over a year and I knew this day was coming at that time as well.

The reason is so I can finish my masters degree in another field, which will likely lead to a better job/salary in the future. By quiting this job, I should be able to finish the degree more quickly. I really have to be onsite in the labs during the day to finish up.

Nonetheless, although management can be harsh at this company, I have some sadness in doing it.

Does anyone have any advice on how to resign gracefully?

Additionally, I wouldn't mind offering to help out part-time, but the scope would have to be very limited.

I dread this discussion tomorrow. Call me a coward, or afraid of letting people down or creating conflict. I'll be honest, I am more scared because the manager I will turn notice into is a bit of a hothead!

I'll let you know how it goes, but any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[funnelguy]

Good luck with your future plans!
Two things...

First, lose the guilt thing. You are moving forward and should do so proudly and with your head up. Your employer certainly has been aware of your aspirations.

Second, do not allow the hothead manager to either intimidate you or draw you into an argument. Keep your cool. Do NOT take this opportunity to drown them in complaints about the company.

Your immediate supervisor may be a bit of a hothead, but your work and actions are also visible to others within the organization. Perhaps you'll find yourself working there again someday. Regardless, you'll want a decent reference.

 

[EngineerDave]

Thanks.

Yeah I want to leave the door open to help them on a part-time basis. I definitely stress over not having a source of income, but i know this masters degree will lead to much better offers (at least on the basis of a couple of colleagues who graduated this year and their offers!)

I am grateful they gave me a job after my previous employer laid me off. While the pay wasn't great (30% less than my previous job), it helped pay the bills and for my schooling. They didn't directly pay for my classes or anything like that of course.

 

[jmw]

Tough to give good advise on the information you give but if I make some assumptions and suggest a way forward...

You have described your manager as a hothead but you haven't said that he was a bad manager nor that you had any problems working for him or the company. Management can be harsh. It is a fact of life. You haven't said they are unfair or morons and they can often be both.

You have some objectives for after you leave. Keep these in mind and look out for him to say something that you can use as a cue to win his support to secure those objectives. If he says something about being undermanned as it is, you can imediately offer to help out part time as and when your studies let you. Otherwise sympathise and agree with him. It's tough for him to argue if you agree with him about timing, manning levels, workload, problems of getting replacements etc etc. Show respect and gratitude as and when appropriate.

Anticipate what he might say and have some responses planned out. You may wish to say that you have appreciated working there and if you thank him personally and say that you have learned a lot working for him it is likely to soften any hot-headed response.

Remember, managers are under pressure from above. He is going to be thinking "Great, now how do we get the work done." and "I hope higher management don't think I'm responsible for this guy leaving." because head count and turnover can be sticks that are used to beat up on middle management.

So, either he has problem to get manning levels down, in which case he may be a bit relieved, or he will be more than glad if you are saying nice things in your resignation that get him of the hook and giving him a solution to any future problems. It may also be that if he is under pressure to meet some deadlines, and is having difficulties, your resignation provides him with an excuse. Saying "I know my leaving may mean you miss that deadline" even if it isn't your leaving that will do it, it feeds him ammunition to fight his wars.

If he gets mad, treat it as a compliment and a mark of how much he values your work and make your responses with that in mind. If he says "you are screwing me to the wall", replay it back to him with a softer phrasing: "I'm sorry, I know this is coming at a bad time for the project."

Resigning well is no less important than interviewing well. Preparation and anticipation all the way. If he is going to blow up, let him. Don't fight back, listen respectfully and wait till he runs out of steam. Appologise for causing him more problems. Make sure you give him your letter to read and say it is a draft and you would appreciate if he wants to suggest changes. It lets him know that you aren't out to shaft him. What he dreads is resignation letters that drip blood and vitriol because these could be used against him later on by his bosses. This is going to go to HR and he will be relieved if it actually makes him look good.
Things in writing are what can hang these guys. Things in writing that don't make them look bad are going to be grabbed.

Oh, yes, it probably won't be as bad as you think. No matter what reasons i have really had for leaving i have always managed to leave well.

JMW

http://www.viscoanalyser.com

Eng-Tips: Pro bono publico, by engineers, for engineers.

Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips Fora.

 

[EngineerDave]

Thanks for the advice so far. This guy is actually the president of the company so other than the owner, there will be no other people to answer to.

I'm sure one of my co-workers will be a bit disappointed as he will likely have to pick up the slack when I'm gone. He use to work in the department with me all the time but they transferred him out to work on other things and now he will be all too disappointed to come back to my department (where I'm the only worker in it!)

I don't have my resignation note written yet. I will have that done soon. I really dread the convo. I am a very laidback guy and hate confrontation of any sort!

 

[Dennyd]

EngineerDave,

First, congratulations on taking this step for your future. Second, no matter what the condition of your work you should, as you even titled this post, "resign gracefully." There is a book called "What Color is Your Parachute?" (or maybe it's "My" Parachute). It does a better job of explaining the subtleties of making such a change than we will discuss here. Two key things I learned from this book are that: 1. This is your last opportunity to influence what goes into your personnel file so make it good, 2. Be positive in tone and sum up your contributions to the company.

My boss complimented me at my last place of employment. He said he'd never read such a positive resignation letter. There was no hint of the things that caused me dissatisfaction, even though he knew of them and we discussed them (verbally) after he read my letter. So, even though we were able to be frank about some of the underlying issues, what is in my file is the letter that so impressed him.

Good luck,

- - -Dennyd

 

[EngineerDave]

Thanks for all the advice. Looks like i might wait until Friday to do it now. I know this sounds funny, but there is so much work to do here and I want to try to catch up and finish alot of it!

Plus I haven't drafted my letter yet!

 

[zdas04]

Be really careful what you say and do this week. If you take much opportunity to say "goodbye" to co-workers it will get back to the boss and that exit-interview might go from your agenda to one that he has had a chance to think about (and fume over). Give him too much time to think about the rumors and it can turn into a "You'll never work in this town again" discussion.

David

 

[TheTick]

funnelguy is right about losing the "guilt thing". This is especially true if you consider the amount of guilt that would be felt by your employer if he was letting you go!

People change; people grow. A decent employer will respect this fact. If your employer is not capable of dealing with this, there may be no good way.

Ultimately, the best course of action is to conduct yourself professionally. Keep your conduct in this matter consummately professional, and you have nothing to fear.

Due to illness, the part of The Tick will be played by... The Tick.

http://www.EsoxRepublic.com

 

[ctopher]

Some very good advise given to you. Couldn't have said it better. Good for you and good luck. Hope all goes well.

 

[plasgears]

Dave,
Be prudent and friendly in all you say when you leave. There may a register out there to record events affecting you in the HR environment. Many years ago I walked out of an interview that left me waiting in the lobby for over any hour. (The personnel mgr was checking my references while I was out in the lobby.)

On another occasion, a prospective employer was asking what happened at Co X, the same as above. I was suprised that the question was brought up. There must have been information posted by HR at Co X concerning me.

 

[GOTWW]

Just tell them straight up what your plans are (period), and do not forget hasta la vista baby. They will beg for you to come back later if you are worth a grain of salt.

 

[AndrewTX]

I've resigned three times over the 12 years I've been out of college, and every one went well.

As GOTWW said, if they want you they will try to get you back. My first company did that. When I resigned the department manager just said "Good luck". No attempt at a counter offer. Three months later I was getting almost daily calls from him to come back. After about three months of his calling and negotiating I pulled out my ace in the hole for the final negotiations. I had left him a voice mail with my counter offer and then became violently ill with food poisoning. I was out for the week and when I returned I had several messages from him. The last one being "Fine, you can have what you want." So you see, these things have a way of working out.

 

[EngineerDave]

In my case, if I can work part-time (under my terms) while I complete this masters degree, I would be happy.

However since everything is a rush in this business, I'm not sure if that would work out anyways. I have my own schedule to ensure completion of my thesis and my final requirements that I need to adhere to.

I haven't created my letter or my speech, but will have it all ready for this Friday and go forward with my plan.

 

[AndrewTX]

When I went back to that company I stayed there for 5 years and left it to change industries. I never felt any lingering resentment over the fact that I was firm in the negotioations. It is just business and companies know that.

When I finally changed industries, my department manager spent 4 days trying to convince me to stay, including a long meeting with our VP of Engineering who gave me the option to pick whatever work I wanted to do and he would see that I was assigned it. A good company with good people, but I was just tired and needed a change. I'm too restless to work for one company for 20 years.

 

[JPatten]

I would include the reasons you are leaving in your letter. You want to document that you are leaving to finish your education and that you feel that it is not feasable for you to work full time and go to school which is the reason for your departure. Explain that you have set this goal for yourself and in order for you to reach it you must resign.

Any real Boss would respect your decision to go after your goals and wish you luck.

By the way good luck.

 

[trainguy]

If the guy's such a hot head, I wouldn't want to work back there again. I left that kind of job in my first year as an engineer and I NEVER looked back. It's a big world out there. Leave as gracefully as you can, don't burn bridges, be professional, but if the guy turns it into a shouting match, just leave. They'll call you back if they really need you.

An interesting thing happens to an employee/ employer relationship as soon as it is severed: you somehow immediately become equals. This is when it is realized that you both needed each other.

I have experienced this on both sides of the issue, when I have quit, and when some of my designers have quit. It's usually a friendly discussion. I wouldn't worry.

tg

 

[EngineerDave]

Thanks for all the advice. I turned in notice last week. It went very well. I was grateful for my opportunities.

I'm sure that didn't make all the difference, but they would like me to work part-time. I will evaluate it and see what I can do. Finishing the degree is my priority, but I could help out a bit to make some money.

 

[PSE]

Sounds like you succeeded in "resigning gracefully".

Regards,

 

[funnelguy]

Good deal, I'm glad things went well for you. Thanks for following up here.