Self Confidence 2

[myango]

Hi,
The other day in the staff appraisals I had the highest percentage in the company .the most disappointing thing that my boss commented was that I lacked self confidence. I don’t know what to do to improve my self confidence? Is it because am a young engineer heading older people? Please advice


Dickens K. Seroney (B. Tech in Chem and process eng.)Moi,Kenya
Planning and development engineer.

 

[DaveVikingPE]

Ok, so you lack self-confidence. You can be dishonest and lie to yourself that you know everything. But... you don't want to do that. So, to build self-confidence, get more experience. A good way to do that is to ask a lot of questions about things. Then use the knowledge you've gained from the answers you've gotten to do even better at your job.

 

[JAE]

You can have self-confidence in your ability to deal with new, large, scary responsibilities by simply

remaining calm
admitting what you don't know
ask questions
listen
respond to information and new knowledge accordingly
convince yourself that what you don't know can be learned in time
serve in the role you are assigned without pretense or ego

You also might ask your supervisor what sort of behavior, facial expressions, etc. you do that gives him/her the impression that you don't have self-confidence. Sometimes is simply the way we speak or move in front of others that offers people an impression of what's going on inside us.

 

[IRstuff]

You need to get specifics. WHERE and WHEN do you lack self-confidence? Is it simply your presentation style? Are you not sufficiently prepared? Revisit this with your boss to get the specifics.

You should know your presentations backwards and forwards.
Do not read the charts for your audience
Record your presentations, check for "uhs", "ums"
Speak to your talking points
Do not wander aimlessly
Make your major talking point the title of the chart
Try to anticipate questions and be ready with answers

TTFN

 

[Ashereng]

Tough to say. Confidence comes usually with experience and success. Also, you may have confidence in one instance, and not in another because of the surrounding parameters. It is tough to pin down.

Here is an example:

Taking a penalty kick from the spot in my regular league game is easy. I am confident.

Taking a penalty kick from the spot in the championship game, infront of 2,000 people, against a good keeper, is not so easy. I will most likely be less confident.

Taking a penalty kick from the spot in the World Cup, in front of thousands of live people, and millions on the tube, is evidently very easy for Shearer. I am guessing that is due to his many years experience, and success.


I think usually, confidence comes with time and success.

"Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater."
Albert Einstein
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?

 

[Quantum50]

One of the most self confident engineer I've worked with was an older tooling engineer, my supervisor for four years. He taught me (by example) to say, "I screwed up."

How is that exhibiting self confidence?

He understood he was human and would occasionally "screw up."
He would accept immediate responsibility for his failures as well as his numerous successes.
He was willing to take the risks even though occasionally mistakes were made no matter what he did to prevent them.
He understood he was learning from them.

He was very good at his job and his knowledge was extensive. It was quite liberating when I learned to take a deep breath and accept responsibility and move on rather than flail around with defensive excuses.

 

[ctopher]

If you had the highest percentage raise in the company, then why the comment about improving your self confidence. You have the confidence to do a great job to get the highest raise, right?

Chris
Systems Analyst, I.S.
SolidWorks 06 4.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 06-21-06)

 

[Senselessticker]

Agreeing with IRstuff...Follow up with your boss to find out exactly where HE thinks you lack self confidence.

There is a big differenc in "lacking self confidence" and "appearing to lack self confidence". Only YOU know where you truly lack confidence. Others can only judge by your delivery and presentation (both verbal and non-verbal). Its possible that YOU have confidence in yourself and your knowledge, but maybe you don't let others see it.

If you know what you are talking about....then act/talk like you know what you are talking about. If you don't know what you are talking about...then do what every one else does and BS the best you can...with confidence of course !!

 

[UcfSE]

Self confidence can be hard to buiid, especially if you have no way of knowing if what you're doing is correct other than nothing blew up or fell down. Like others have said, experience goes a long way with helping you with that problem. When you can see that despite a lack of experience or confidence you're doing fine, as time progresses you will develop more trust in yourself. Something to remember when dealing with engineers older and/or more experienced: being older or more experienced does not make you right; being right makes you right.

 

[Zapster]

Seroney, are you shy?

I believe that shy people are egotistical to the point where they are afraid to expose any evidence of errors that may embarrass them. It is hard to be confident if you are shy. I think that Quantum50 stated it correctly that it is important to say, “I screwed up;” however, it is just as important to know when to stay quiet in this litigious world. You can loose a lot of business/money by vocalizing to clients, “I screwed up.” When there is a screw up, I find it beneficial to just fix the problem and state that this will work better.

 

[sms]

I think your boss felt he had to put some negative on your review, just so your ego would not inflate too large. That is not unusual in performance reviews. Don't worry about it and just keep on keeping on....

-The future's so bright I gotta wear shades!

 

[IRstuff]

Upon re-reading your original posting, are you more deferential to these "older people?"

That might be the source of the perceived under-confidence, if you're not able to stand your ground against these guys. Either you are indeed unsure about your positions, which is a problem to be solved by more diligence, or you knuckle under too quickly under attack.

TTFN

 

[ajack1]

Self-confidence is a funny thing; whilst it may be possible to improve it I believe it is something in your make up a bit like being tall or short.

Some people will happily stand up on a stage and sing at a karaoke bar, others would sooner chop off their right hand; it often has little to do with how well they can actually sing.

From your review it seems you are very highly regarded as an engineer, given the choice between a good engineer with low self-confidence or a lousy engineer with lots of self-confidence I know which I would choose.

Over time I am sure you get more confident however there will still be people more self-confident than you, as long as you remain better than them you are in a very good place.

 

[JAE]

Maybe your boss perceived that you were the best engineer but never bragged about it.

 

[HVACctrl]

I would explore it- that is finding ways to elevate your self-confidence. I have seen too many times the overly confident get more out of life than those who were better, but not as confident.

Sounds like it will come over time.

Ed

http://www.engineerboards.com

 

[SomptingGuy]

Self-confidence or self-belief? Bear in mind that the oldies don't know everything.

 

[proletariat]

If you act like a rock star, then people will treat you like a rock star. - Marilyn Manson (paraphrased)

Approach this as if you were trying to ask out the hottest girl in the room (or guy if you are a girl). Obviously, this girl is totally out of your league, and you will confirm that in her mind if you make a hand-wringing, simpering approach. So, what's a guy to do? You fake self confidence, and if everything else falls in line (and she doesn't see right through your act) you get the girl. After a few times doing this, you won't have to fake it anymore, because your experience in getting the result you want will instill in you genuine self confidence.

 

[myango]

Hi,
Thanks a lot for your replies since I have got many dimensions of my problem. Just to tell you about myself I will help solve my problem further.
In life I have learnt to keep quite especially during meetings and talks since it’s easy to control the words I own. Experience has taught me judging from my fellow employees you may talk and everyone will look at you as a fool especially in meetings. This is especially because I know I have a few years experience and I need to learn a lot. Coincidentally I always win in all that am assigned, even doing better than the older employees or my boss especially where critical thinking or a complex problem is involved. What has helped me most is buying books and trying to implement them while no one not even my boss knows. An example is like when am given a problem today, I won’t sleep till I get the solution, and then implement the next day.
Consequently, my boss finds me very good in my job , but within myself I know I still need a lot to learn, and I need to keep to myself so that no one realizes my weakness due to lack of practical experience. Should I go for it now since I have been doing these for 2 years now or I still stay the way am? Thanks a lot guys hope to hear from you.


Dickens K. Seroney (B. Tech in Chem and process eng.)Moi,Kenya
Planning and development engineer.

 

[BelspringKen]

Seroney,

Sounds like you tend to stay under the radar - like me.

You are willing to work hard, and it sounds like you are getting results. I often do the same thing, read and research to fill in gaps in my knowledge.

I think I often give off a mixed message by my facial expressions. You should ask someone you trust if you are also doing this. If not your boss, someone you trust to give an honest opinion.

As others have said, ask questions if you don't know.

Don't be shy about speaking up when you DO know the answers, or when you have an idea that will save money or time.

 

[IRstuff]

Based on your last post, you do have problem with self-confidence. As the old saying goes, "nothing ventured, nothing gained." If you want to be respected and you want to advance, then you're going to have to get out there and make public statements and take the hits as they come.

If you are as good as you seem to think, there shouldn't be many take-backs.

TTFN