The $$$ on the Paycheque vs Going Home 4

[GrimesFrank]

Might be redundant thread but I need some perspective.

Some background
1. Was working a couple years for a plant back home, not making much, long commute, talk of plant shutdown, turn down economy, etc. Left (1400 km away) for the big city and big money with family in tow. No other family here.

2. Six years later. Plant is refurbishing, new industry is building, engineers are wanted, grandparents miss their kids, pay is still low, but its home.

Have any of you put your tail between your legs and ran home? (Sorry thats how I feel not judging you.) Can you tell me do:
a) you regret making "the move" and why or;
b) you regret returning home and why

It seems young in my career (< 8 yrs) to possibly make a career limiting move like this, maybe I'm paranoid..who knows....I know the missus is homesick yet she supports me but kids only know living here.....

Sorry for the rant people.....in summary

Do you feel "going home" is a career limiting move when you are in the booming economy working in the present?

Frank "Grimey" Grimes
You can only trust statistics 90% of the time.

 

[Ashereng]

We both grew up in large supporting families, now our kids won't, don't know the effect that will have on them.

Lots of people grow up in small families - I'd like to think I turned out okay. People put too much emphasis in the environment that children grow up in, and the effect it will have. In any given environment, there are kids who do good, and those who don't. More important is the parent's concern for raising their kids correctly - like yours.

Going home or staying for the job really depends on what is important/right for you right now. If you stay, you can always go back next year. If you go back, you can always leave again. It really depends on you, and your family situation.

"Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater."
Albert Einstein
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[AggieYank]

My wife and I are currently banking where we live now, but I'm looking forward very much to moving accross the country in several months to be closer to my family. It'll be hard for both of us to find a job, never mind a good paying one. There's no question in my mind that family is much more important than money.

 

[vpl]

Frank

My 2 cents worth:

If your wife is wanting to go home, then it's probably worth it (if she's miserable, you'll be miserable)

If you're going to move, do it now, before your older kid gets into mid/high school.

Since you mentioned long commute in your first post, consider living closer to your place of work and not quite as close to the parents/grandparents ... it's still closer than where you are now. (Or if that's not possible, getting in some sort of van or car pool to reduce your stress level.)

In regard to the comment about "once you get a job, you have it for life..." In another post, you mentioned you work in the nuclear field. In my experience, and given the current postulated growth potential, you might work at the same company for the next 20 years, but if you're reasonably competent, you WON'T be in the same job.

Having said all that, I need to state that I live 1100 miles from my parents and 600 miles from where I grew up (they moved away first). I think my kids did ok ... they definitely had lots more opportunities where they grew up and both have indicated they appreciated it.

Patricia Lougheed

Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of the Eng-Tips Forums.

 

[kchayfie]

In the end it comes down to a lifestyle choice. Some people thrive when presented with variety and lots of opportunity for change. Others thrive in the nuturing bosom of their family. Some people find that if they don't love their work, they fall out with their family when they get home. Others find that if they have their home life just right, they can cope with anything their job throws at them. You just have to get introspective for a while and figure out how your brain is wired up and whereabouts on the scale things work for you.

Kicking the question around on sites like this should help you figure out what you really want as opposed to what you think you want.

 

[GrimesFrank]

Kicking the question around on sites like this should help you figure out what you really want as opposed to what you think you want.

Thats exactly what I thought, 20 heads are better than 1.
I think you have the best advice I have to figure out where I thrive....I think I'm more of a home affects work than work affects home.

If I was to "go home" its for a plant refurbishment then possibly followed by a new-build. You're right I may switch jobs alot int his new environment.

I guess the big thing is I like my lifestyle (variety) that I have here.

Thank you all for your help, I think I have enough data to sit down with the wife now and give an informed opinion about this........self reflection is always the key and not looking outward.

Frank "Grimey" Grimes
You can only trust statistics 90% of the time.

 

[tbwttihs]

Time to sit down with the wife and she'll tell you what's going to happen...?

 

[Twoballcane]

I have a friend that's been married for 4 years with no kids. However, he lives in the USA and she is in Cananda. They see each other twice a month, but are always connected by cell phone im-ing each other. It seems to work for them. But I agree with the other posters that with kids, staying local with less pay to be with your kids should win out over more money and not seeing and being with your kids at important moments of their lives.

=) good luck


Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."

 

[Twoballcane]

sorry frank =) wrong post...

Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."