Working away from home ?

[gd72]

Hello all,

I have a chance of a job which will require me to live away from home for 4 nights a week (mon - thur) returning home on a Friday evening. The job (although similar salary to what I earn now) is a good opportunity within a large company.
Due to my family being settled where we currently live (2 young children) we do not wish to re-locate. The job is too far to commute (3 hours drive) but close enough to return home in emergencies. Does anyone have any similar experience of working away from home and are there any problems I should look out for ?
Basically any advice / experiences would be welcomed.

Many thanks

gd72

 

[KENAT]

So my two penneth worth.

I’m in a similar situation (4 hr drive) and have been for over a year but there are some significant differences.

For me it was a major pay rise, pay more than tripled.

The previous job was as a sales assistant at a drug store so low pay and crummy hours (a lot of evenings and weekends), they’d made me supervisor just before I left but it didn’t help much.

I’ve arranged it so that most weeks I only work 4 days (away 3 nights) and leave early the last day so am home long before bed time, often in time for dinner. I actually see my wife and kids more now than when I was at home working at the drugstore.

In my line of work I won’t be able to get a job locally till I am eligible for security clearance which is several years from now. As such the chance of getting a well paid job locally is slim to none at present.

Disadvantage is the cost to stay away. Costs me over $1000 a month with hotel & travel. Due to the area getting a room somewhere wouldn’t be much cheaper, especially as I’m only there 3 nights. However I’m still better off than I would be at my previous employer.

The kids are actually my wife’s, I’m the proverbial evil stepparent so they probably don’t mind me being away as much as yours would.

For me it’s worth it, for you it doesn’t sound a good idea.

 

[Borg70f99]

Hey Man,

Well I have been on the road for 2 years as a international construction Superintendent, I would fly home on a Friday spend time with my family Saturday and then fly out Sunday. Because my job was so stressful when I got home all I wanted to do was enjoy my time off not wanting to go out with the family. This is a really big mistake, make sure when you are home you take time out for the wife, this time must be separate from the kids. So you will have a family day and then a wife day, if you do this it will work out for the better.

Good luck

 

[ahung]

The time with your family is priceless. Its very important for a father see how grow up his kids. Work to live not live to work. Your wife and you need spend much time with the kids, support them, help them etc. In the future they will remember goods things, goods memories about his parents

Regards

Alberto J. Hung C
Caracas Venezuela

 

[esloan]

Been doing this for about 18 months. (2 hour commute) No decent jobs near the family. Decided that an apartment is cheaper safer and more comfortable than a motel room.

I'm no longer married, my teenaged daughter chose to stay during the week with my parents. This means zero time as she had her own interests and never wanted to hang out with her mom (me). After a year we moved her to the apartment with me. Will have to upgrade to something larger when the lease is up.

We still go back every weekend, my family still knows me. My boyfriend and I have come to the realization that I will probably never find a decent job in that limited market.
It is costing a lot of money, the additional travel etc. At this point I am happy as I have my daughter with me, doing the work I love, a lot of soul searching on what is important in life.

 

[esloan]

oops, my post reads a little different than I intended. I am divorced, not because of the work situation. The was a pre-existing condition

 

[21121956]

Hello everybody:

I work away from home, monday through friday evening. I travel back home (2 hours drive) on friday, arriving just for dinner time with my family: my wife, two girls and one boy. I return back to my job early on monday morning.

I live monday - thursday night at a sort of village that our power plant has for their employees. In this place we have a clubhouse, restaurant, playing fields for basket ball, soccer, tennis, among other facilities.

Some evenings I use to drink a couple of beers with other co-workers and that is all. Another nights I stay at my village home (not my village room) and watch TV, or read, study a special matter or make one of my favorite extra work activities: have a part in this forum.

I have been living in this way of life for more than 4 years (so far I have no choice) but certainly, I have become accustomed. I spend the weekend entirely with my family so, I have no sorrows. But, being honest, from now on, I will try to put into practice (and I will see what happens) the idea of Borg70f99, this is, to dedicate part of one day exclusively to my wife.

Go ahead gd72 and good luck !

 

[macmet]

25 against
0 for...

wow

I'm younger and have no spouse or kids so I cannot relate but a lot of good responses here.

 

[wjsd]

In my own case I had a long commute (went to Denver, CO from Charlotte, NC). No kids, no wife, but my GF would come and visit. It was a definite strain, but it was a great experience for me personally as well. I started doing things I would not have done at home like work out more, read more, and explore Colorado on a motorcycle. Since then i have traveled to new areas a few more times. I lost touch with friends, places I was familiar with, etc. It can be hard, but sometimes that sacrifice opens doors you never would have seen otherwise...
I have worked with several older gentlemen who commute home on weekends and seemed to do okay with their marriages. I only remember one guys complaining about his wife spending money they din't have. I guess I would say if you really thrive on your family relationship and friends and have lots of activities during monday to thursday, don't do it. If you enjoy your free time to pursue your own hobbies and stuff, then try it out. Maybe...It is a hard call, seeing as how you have a family dependant on you . Now that I read my post I see I have very little in the way of similar situation.

 

[Twoballcane]

I have a friend that's been married for 4 years with no kids. However, he lives in the USA and she is in Cananda. They see each other twice a month, but are always connected by cell phone im-ing each other. It seems to work for them. But I agree with the other posters that with kids, staying local with less pay to be with your kids should win out over more money and not seeing and being with your kids at important moments of their lives.

=) good luck


Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."

 

[controlnovice]

I'm not for it at all.

A few years ago, we had a project in China. It seemed like many of the Chinese do this for the jobs. They have to take a job in a different city, but leave the family where they are.

On PBS, there is a program on currently, I think called "Inside China" or "China from the inside" (not sure??). They talk about this same issue and the problems it causes.

Not worth it, but if you can't find work.....

______________________________________________________________________________
This is normally the space where people post something insightful.

 

[RDK]

I’ve done more or less that for the last dozen years.

However the pay was a lot more.

Gradually as time went on the jobs got farther and farther away from home and the return times longer between them.

Now I am home getting ready to go back to Afghanistan. Its 3 months a trip with 48 hours travel time one way.

I could never have done this when the kids were young. (They were 10 and 12 when I started).

I’d pass on it in your situation I wait until the kids were older and a little more independent before starting on this path. It can be exciting and interesting but is hard on the family life. You have to balance your responsibility as a parent with your career.


Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng

Construction Project Management
From conception to completion

http://www.kitsonengineering.com