A Bad Manager 16

[casseopeia]

I have a bad, bad manager. I have decided that I will most likely leave the company as soon as I can, but need to survive until that is possible. This senior manager is almost 70 years old. I've worked with people older who were quite competent, but this one is not. The only reason I even mention age is because he uses it as an excuse for 'being forgetful.' I have been told because he is an old man, that it is my duty to make sure he is doing his job, even if it means I have to put aside production work needed to provide a work product to a Client. I am not the only one to notice that this he is having some serious difficulties, resulting in behaviors that are nothing short of shocking. This affects most, if not all of the Project Managers, of which I am one. Over the past three months or so this manager has;

completely forgotten entire conversations occurring sometimes only minutes before;

made highly inappropriate comments including ridiculing another Project Manager at a staff meeting about her accent (she is Asian), saying he thought she said, "I need a f*ck" when she said, "I need a fork;"

has made statements, or jumped to a technical conclusion, without first checking his facts even when I have diplomatically tried to stop him doing so;

claimed I did not follow company protocol for 'senior review of technical specifications' when I had;

taken credit for research or work that I did, much of it to correct or provide future reference for several of his mistakes caused by a rush to judgement.

This has lead to some very bad feelings and has put the company at risk. I have pled my case and provided proof to HR and my Boss that I am in fact doing my job properly. The bad manager makes claims that I did not do something, or did not follow protocol and I have provided emails and other proof that I had. One difficulty, however, is that this supposed 'company protocol' is not written anywhere, changes day to day, person to person and situation to situation. I have asked for a written policy only to be told that I need to be more flexible. I've tried to keep Clients happy, but find I am sabotaged by the Senior Manager's turmoil-inducing back-stabbing and by HR's reluctance to go against this individual, and by a Boss afraid to take him on himself.

So what are my options?

Give up, suck up....and get out.

Fight openly and continue to document...and get out.

Fight subversively, enlist support, and then get out taking some clients with me.

Hide from the Senior Manager as much as possible, and blast the Company's competitors with my updated resume.

The sad thing is I really like the work and all of my co-workers, with the exception of Mr. Bad Manager.

"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump

 

[patprimmer]

In my opinion the advice given by Maurice is about the worst I have ever seen on this site.

My mother had a saying. Two wrongs do not make a rite. My mother is a wise woman I think.

Do not degrade yourself in this. Step back, calm down, refresh your memories on the joys of fairly recent unemployment and consider why things are developing the way they are and what you can do that is productive and what might b counterproductive.

The real solution may well be to get out, when and if you can, but in the meanwhile would you rather find a way to keep this reasonable or flip burgers, and even that supposes there are openings for burger flippers at the moment.

Consider why people have asked you to look out for him.

Consider why they appear to do nothing about him. Well in fact they have, they asked you to look out for him and that is not currently working well. How will they allocate blame for that. Even 10% your fault, 90% his is still partly your fault in their eyes.

It seems they are well aware of the problem but do not choose to handle it in the way you think fit. I am sure hey have their reasons, be they good or bad. A few possibilities are:-

1) Maybe he has been there since Moses played full back for the Arabs and they don't like to fire long serving employees.
2) Maybe he did very good work for them until recently and they respect past performance.
3) Maybe he does know where some figurative bodies are buried.
4) Maybe he owns shares.
5) Maybe his wife owns shares and or is family with the owners.
6) Maybe he is terminally ill and hey know it and don't want to crush him a few months before he becomes severely incapacitated.
7) Maybe they are testing your ability to cope.
8) Maybe they can't see the problem.
9) Maybe they see you as the problem.
10) Maybe they are sexist and think it must always be the womans problem or blame it on hormones and mood swings. Not agreeing, just saying.
11) Maybe they are exceptionally compassionate.
12) Maybe they are exceptionally stupid.
13) Maybe he has a contract that expires in a year or two and at this stage they would sooner wait it out than breach a contract.
14) Maybe he has a moderate time to go to get major increase in retirement benefits.
15) Maybe they lost a lot of employees retirement benefits in the GFC and feel guilty and are giving him time to rebuild benefits.
16) Maybe they faced liquidation and he voluntarily offered his retirement benefits to help keep them afloat.

Bottom line, who knows, certainly not you. Try to find out. Acting like a sleuth won't help. Acting like a caring concerned compassionate confident might.

I don't know really, just playing devils advocate throwing a few thoughts out there.

Oh Dan. One major difference here is the OP did not start with using prejudicial insulting names like "ninja claws" and does show some attempt to understand and solve the problem.

As a result of my recent move to care for my mother, I am participating in group sessions carers run by a Dementia Respite Day Care Clinic and one on "Living with Memory Loss". One of the real issues identified is that in early stages the sufferer realises it is happening, and the smarter they are the more they themselves see the problem and it frightens the living daylight out of them.

This typically leads to several of a list of symptoms or reactions, these being:-
1) Fear.
2) Resentment.
3) Anger.
4) Depression.
5) Anxiety.
6) A tendency to cling to someone they trust.
7) Overcompensation.
8) Insecurity.
9) Violence.
10) Denial.
11) Inconsistency as various combinations of the above have their influence.

The biggest problems tend to come from a fear of loss of respect, personal security, independence and dignity.

Also, they lose their memory, not their intelligence. They can be as sharp as a tack on problem solving, so long as they remember what the problem they are working on actually is.

Regards
Pat
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[patprimmer]

I am gobsmacked.

Someone actually awarded a star to someone for recommending ridicule of someone showing symptoms of early stage dementia.

What level of ridicule do we recommend for the blind, the deaf, Down Syndrome, Paraplegics, bi-polar etc etc.

Regards
Pat
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[casseopeia]

Pat, you have come amazingly close to some realities of didn't mention. To answer your list of possibilities,

1. yes. He actually has more years than the equity owners still working full time.
2. yes. It's been very recent that this behavior started, and seems to have come on suddenly
3. yes. I've heard hints about 'stories'
4. possibly
5. close. His wife is a valuable technical contributor with a long business relationship with the firm.
6. doubtful. Physically he seems to be in excellent condition, eats healthy, exercises and is relatively trim.
7. no. I failed right off the bat. There would have been no need to continue the test for a week.
8. maybe, or they don't think the problem is as big as I think it is.
9. possibly, at least in my reaction to the perceived threat.
10. not likely. This is the first place I've ever worked where the majority of the technical staff is female.
11. no, unless it is the first time
12. no. Smartest group I think I've ever worked with.
13. do not know
1 do not know
14. could be
15. maybe
16. Not liquidation, but a shortage of cash due to an expansion. I could see him offing to extend credit, for profit.

Alzheimer's, dementia or aphasia occurred to me because it is very much like my own mother. She takes medication for it , but is still very forgetful. My mother was ditzy her whole life, though and her condition did not come on suddenly. After she had several TIA's, there was a noticeable difference and that's why I thought mini stroke. And don't beat up on maurice too much. I didn't take his comments seriously.

I guess I'll read up on Alzheimers and the like. Just reading the posts here seems to have already improved my outlook and compassion which will help me react better to his provocations. Maybe I'll find a way to diffuse the situation.



"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump

 

[jmw]

Also, it is as well to see where the real problem lies.
The problem is not that Cass has to deal with him, but that management who want her to deal don't want to respect the consequences.


JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[SomptingGuy]

Cass. Locate your drama magnet and set it to "off". Just kidding.

- Steve

 

[lacajun]

This affects most, if not all of the Project Managers, of which I am one.

Good managers will not allow this to happen because it is too disruptive for the company. They also have the responsibility to keep negative pressure off their employees. That is partially why they get paid the big bucks, in my humble opinion. Those are not easy decisions to make nor should they be. Managers should not be callous to the human condition and particularly so if that condition is beyond the individual's control. Alternatively, they should not be callous to the impact of BM's behaviors to the balance of the PMs.

If they have the internal strength, they will deal with BM. If not, they will make him someone else's responsibility, i.e., yours. That, ultimately, is your problem.

 

[FeX32]

I need a fork.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX7ur4Ey5X4

Fe

 

[moltenmetal]

Thanks Cass for providing yet more evidence of the benefits of mandatory retirement...

Nobody wants to haul this guy out into the back pasture and shoot him. He's got a couple generations of faithful service behind him. Unfortunately, it's behind him.

Setting a "best before" date on people is unfair, especially given that our life expectancy has increased so much in the past couple of generations, but it does get rid of problems like this in a dignified way. It also clears out the senior positions and allows a little upward mobility in an organization. The really good ones can be asked back on contract: when they cease to perform or create more trouble than value, their contracts can be whittled down to zero. Weaning people off of work rather than bringing them to a sudden stop can be a lifesaver for some.

Wish I had the magic strategy for dealing with this, but I don't think it exists.

 

[IRstuff]

Not exactly office-friendly, that video, was it?

TTFN

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[PhilBW]

Your upper management is not doing this person a favor by ignoring his problems. If it is Alzheimers or another similar ailment, there are medications that can greatly slow down the progression of his symptoms if they are started before the disease is too advanced. Since your management is letting him pretend there is nothing wrong, he is not getting the medication he needs.

If you can point this out to his superiors, maybe they will realize they are only hurting him by handiling this situation the way they are.

 

[KENAT]

Cass, you're asking the wrong person for advice on how to deal with folks with an inconvenient medical issue. I'm still in a cube with my cantankerous diabetic colleague from posts previous.

You have already identified your self as a trouble maker for bringing the issue up with HR & management and none of them being receptive.

You can document all you like, in fact you really should just in case, but there's not much you can successfully do with it. Even if you manage to make a case that forces management to address the situation they will probably resent you for it and eventually will probably get their revenge. Heck, even if you got evidence that allowed them to do what they wanted to do anyway they may resent the fact they needed your help.

The one exclusion is if you get enough damning evidence to get Gloria Allred or someone interested and they win you enough money to take early retirement on.

Find somewhere else ASAP, even though it's far easier said than done.

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[UcfSE]

I think Pat has offered the best advice Cass. Try to improve you, not bring down someone else, or play games. I might avoid bring up any health issues or questions, just to avoid any potential for HIPPA violations.

 

[FeX32]

Sorry IRstuff. I'm a big fan of them...first thing that came to mind when I read part of Cass's post.


Fe

 

[mauricestoker]

Well, I guess you're gobsmacked. Are you a licensced medical mental health practioner? I'm not. Did I ridicule someone for signs of early stage dementia? No. Did I include one of the most frequent causes of a-hole like behavior, someone being an a-hole? Yes, I did. Did I explain my experience as being first hand, being an a-hole? Yes, I did. It's not an exlcusive club, you are welcome.

 

[IRstuff]

FeX32,

Nothing negative; it was interesting ;-)

Just a warning to others...

TTFN

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[beej67]

I don't mean to provoke anyone here, but in most of the workplaces I've been in, telling a superior you don't want to "hold their peepee" in an argumentative meeting will get you fired, and playing the Twilight Zone theme on your laptop when they walk by won't help your prospects for advancement either. Those things are disrespectful, whether he deserved them or not.

Cass, I have no doubt that you are in the right. But something folks have to learn as they develop professionally, is being right isn't the only thing, or even the most important thing, about working in a group setting. How you say things is quite often more important than what you're saying. It's a hard lesson for engineers to learn.

I highly suspect that the old codger adds net value to your company. I highly suspect that his engineering deficiencies are made up for with his experience, or more likely many years worth of client relationships that are essential. I suspect he doesn't want to be removed from engineering entirely because of his self perception, and I suspect the decision to leave him in an engineering role in the company was made by people further up the totem pole, because of the value he does add.

I suspect when your superiors asked you to take on some of his work, they were expecting you to coddle the guy, because that's what he needed, but you're just not the coddling type, so it didn't work out. I suspect if you'd coddled him more, you wouldn't be in this situation at your workplace. But it's not your job to coddle some old fart who can't even do engineering work anymore!

Or is it?

We engineers like to think our job is "Design a Bridge." But it's really not. It's actually "Work With Others To Ensure A Bridge Is Designed." And since other folks are almost always imperfect, it's really "Learn To Adapt To Others Imperfections To Ensure A Bridge Is Designed." And that job requires social skills, and forgiveness, and thick skin, and telling people what they want to hear, and sometimes backing off even when you're 100% right. That's people for you.

To your specific situation, it sounds to me like you should go ahead and look for another job, but you also should consider reevaluating your approach to office collaboration a little, and come into the new job with a softer mindset. Alternately, you could transition to a related industry where the harder mindset is more appreciated or demanded, such as Construction Management.


Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East -

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[casseopeia]

In this case the entire episode was started by the old guy, with an email to me after the work was approved, out the door, and in the Client's hands.

I did everything I was supposed to and stayed late to get information to our Client so that his contractor could stop charging him $1000/day to hold an excavation open waiting for an answer. It was not until the next Monday after the holiday weekend that I was blindsided with an email from my manager, copied to the entire ownership of the company I work for, accusing me of refusing to comply with company protocol.

My initial response was to show I had followed protocol and to remind my manager the things that were discussed and what information he had reviewed. But he denied having seen any of it and went hightailing it off to HR. The more proof I supplied that he had reviewed the work, the harder the manager hit back, "I never got it...I didn't know that was this job..I didn't know what this was for...It's your job to make sure I understand these things...You should know I don't look that closely at these things..." It was absolutely absurd but would not have been unmanageable if HR had not been dragged into the ordeal.

Diplomacy goes two ways. If you as a manager make a mistake and start an in-office conflict, and are proven to be wrong, it is your duty to make things right by appoligizing and notifying the parties you brought into the fight that you were wrong.

And the bottom line, this 'Senior Review' that he was so concerned with, when he finally under the direct scrutiny of HR reviewed my work, had not one material comment other than to suggest I should have used a different specification number than the one I used. He was even wrong about that.

Disrespectful. Yes. That's what happens when management not only screws up, but refuses to acknowledge their own screw up and attempts to affix blame on me. They lose the privledge of my respect.

"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump

 

[FeX32]

Fe

 

[KENAT]

Cass, have you tried Non Violent Communication?

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[casseopeia]

No KENET, what's it like?

"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump