A Bad Manager 16

[casseopeia]

I have a bad, bad manager. I have decided that I will most likely leave the company as soon as I can, but need to survive until that is possible. This senior manager is almost 70 years old. I've worked with people older who were quite competent, but this one is not. The only reason I even mention age is because he uses it as an excuse for 'being forgetful.' I have been told because he is an old man, that it is my duty to make sure he is doing his job, even if it means I have to put aside production work needed to provide a work product to a Client. I am not the only one to notice that this he is having some serious difficulties, resulting in behaviors that are nothing short of shocking. This affects most, if not all of the Project Managers, of which I am one. Over the past three months or so this manager has;

completely forgotten entire conversations occurring sometimes only minutes before;

made highly inappropriate comments including ridiculing another Project Manager at a staff meeting about her accent (she is Asian), saying he thought she said, "I need a f*ck" when she said, "I need a fork;"

has made statements, or jumped to a technical conclusion, without first checking his facts even when I have diplomatically tried to stop him doing so;

claimed I did not follow company protocol for 'senior review of technical specifications' when I had;

taken credit for research or work that I did, much of it to correct or provide future reference for several of his mistakes caused by a rush to judgement.

This has lead to some very bad feelings and has put the company at risk. I have pled my case and provided proof to HR and my Boss that I am in fact doing my job properly. The bad manager makes claims that I did not do something, or did not follow protocol and I have provided emails and other proof that I had. One difficulty, however, is that this supposed 'company protocol' is not written anywhere, changes day to day, person to person and situation to situation. I have asked for a written policy only to be told that I need to be more flexible. I've tried to keep Clients happy, but find I am sabotaged by the Senior Manager's turmoil-inducing back-stabbing and by HR's reluctance to go against this individual, and by a Boss afraid to take him on himself.

So what are my options?

Give up, suck up....and get out.

Fight openly and continue to document...and get out.

Fight subversively, enlist support, and then get out taking some clients with me.

Hide from the Senior Manager as much as possible, and blast the Company's competitors with my updated resume.

The sad thing is I really like the work and all of my co-workers, with the exception of Mr. Bad Manager.

"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump

 

[KENAT]

I wouldn't have a clue, but I seem to recall it being recommended before by someone.

;-)

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[MikeHalloran]

No chance, Kenat.

Cass is pretty close to the female equivalent of Marmaduke Surfaceblow.

I mean that as a compliment.


Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[lacajun]

Disrespectful. Yes. That's what happens when management not only screws up, but refuses to acknowledge their own screw up and attempts to affix blame on me. They lose the privledge of my respect.

You are 100% accurate!

 

[JedClampett]

I think you're mistaken to think that HR is out to protect your interest. HR is there to protect the owner. If you think they're actually protecting your interest, you're probably getting close to a situation where the company is legally liable.
In fact, going to them probably stiffened everyone's resolve, since now the issue was on paper and recorded for posterity. So now the management had to get their stories straight.
If the owner has the desire to keep this manager, HR is not going to help your case.

 

[KENAT]

Here you go, here's a thread with some info on NVC for you Mike.

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[KENAT]

Lets try that again:

thread732-235079

Seriously though Cass, I wish I had a really good suggestion for you. Taking the ethical/moral high road gets tiring after a while. When people are using unethical/immoral etc. techniques to attack you, or at least disadvantage you it's tricky not to return fire.

Playing it by the book seems to leave you open to retribution, if not now then later. So at some point you end up having to find other employment anyway.

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[jmw]

Oh wow, Kenat, that was the thread where we started wondering about the term SO and that ultimately lead me to the more accurate terminalogy of SB and MM. (MM having the dual meanings, Mere Male as defined by me and ManMeat as defined by Cass.......)

Gee didn't we all have fun in those days....

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[patprimmer]

Cass

I am sorry to say as this thread evolves whether your right or wrong, I can't see it ending well for you.

Maurice

Some very appropriate site rules prevent me giving the appropriate answer to your last rant.

My mother is in early stage dementia and I have given up full time work to care for her. I have been to every available workshop on the issues of care and recognition of dementia so actually I do have quite a bit of first hand experience with it. Any aged care specialist would call you out for abuse of the aged by your reply starting with the stuttering trick. YES THAT IS RIDICULE and is not appropriate toward anyone. If you treated my mother that way you would be in need of a very high capacity for self defense. If I saw you treat a colleague that way, there would be a formal complaint from me.

Regards
Pat
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[sreid]

Cass,

I can really feel your pin. Several times in my life I've had managers who have made my life miserable. Is there any way you can arrange to simply not work with the guy?

 

[casseopeia]

Pat,
You are so right. Things are not going well. Being right, and with proof, has been completely overlooked. I have now had several discussions all centering on 'following procedure.' Here's how it usually goes,

Bossman: Let's talk about you not following procedure.

Me: I think we have established multiple times that I, in fact, followed procedure.

Bossman: Yes, but you did not make sure the communication was received.

Me: We established that the Senior Manager DID receive the emails.

Bossman: But he was expecting a phone call or a personal visit at his desk. He did not see the email you sent.

Me: He DID see the email. He responded to to them.

Bossman: Maybe this company is different from what you are used to. We like to give everything that goes out the door several reviews to make sure there are no mistakes.

Me: Yes, I understand that. And my work was reviewed by the Senior Manager before and after it went out and he made not one change, technical or otherwise, of any substance. So, there were no mistakes in my work yet this is being treated like a narrowly missed accidental launching of a nuclear device at a friendly.

Bossman: You need to understand how to work with everyone's specific quirks, specifically about communication style.

Me: If we are talking about the Senior Project Manager, then why is my communication style being questioned on this project and not the others that preceded it where I learned the what level of communication was expected? I did nothing different and yet the reaction was 180 degrees in the other direction. I'm getting mixed signals.

Bossman: Let's talk about this other problematic project that is going over budget completely unrelated to the topic of this meeting.

cue Twilight Zone music.



sreid, yes there is. Find another job is the way to do exactly that.

"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump

 

[vandal06]

Cass,

I just wanted to thank you for sharing your plight. My girlfriend is going through a similar situation with a manager who is out to lunch. She isn't an engineer, but works for a state DoT in an engineering department so much of the same office politics you've discussed apply.

What's really depressing is that other equal level managers are aware of this manager's general bad behavior and inconsistent levels of work expectation towards the other analysts, but believe it "isn't their place" to correct her. Advice given to my girlfriend by said managers was to either live with it and adapt, or just find another job. She is looking at the latter after a sufficient amount of time has passed so she doesn't look like a job jumper (she just had her 6 month review).

 

[patprimmer]

Cass

If you want to continue receiving your pay cheque, I suggest you swallow a bit of pride and take a modified approach.

It is obvious this firm is loyal to the SM for whatever reason. You must accept that the situation in that regard is beyond your control and overall is not such a bad thing.

To cover your more tender regions you need to communicate in a manner more acceptable to them. Proof of email is obviously insufficient in their eyes (I know, but hey, that's how it is it seems).

Even though right, calm down, send the emails as required, copy SM and boss so boss is in the loop of the communications. Also do regular face to face reviews with SM and email to him and boss a report with a summary of the face to face as you understood it. Ask SM if he agrees with your summary, in that report. Also ask him face to face shortly after. Also confirm with boss if he thinks you have been cooperative and clear at each stage.

The report might be SM reviewed drawings XXXX and agreed all OK. Keep a copy of the drawing at that stage and leave copies with SM and boss if appropriate.

Simply appearing to enthusiastically rather than formally but reluctantly seeking SMs advice or approval might be all it takes.

Regards
Pat
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[MikeHalloran]

Me: Yadda yadda yadda (exactly as instructed by my dildo boss, word for word). ... as instructed.

Vendor: That's the stupidest question I've ever heard in my twenty years in this field, and I heard it already, not two weeks ago, from a guy named (my dildo boss).

;---

The dildo had me making tables of problems, in a specified format, then complaining about the format and rearranging the columns, daily, when that required an eraser. We never did get around to actually working on any of the problems.

He was a legend in a big company. When he went on vacation, people would call us to dig out and process papers he was sitting on, because he was apparently incapable of making a decision.

;---

You seem to be dealing with an entire cadre of legends like that.

You need to get out. No amount of kowtowing will satisfy them.



Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[casseopeia]

MikeH - LOL.. Glad I got to read this before the censors got to it! BTW, you are right as well. It is absolutely clear that the more I defend myself and the more proof I offer, the more unreachable the guidelines become.

Today I believe we may have lost the second accountant in the 6 months I've been there. That's writing in the sky, not just on the wall.

"Gorgeous hair is the best revenge." Ivana Trump

 

[beej67]

If the accountants are *quitting* then it's definitely time to get the heck out of dodge. Rats leave the sinking ship first because they hang out in the bilge.

You're probably on the chopping block short list, and that won't look well on a resume.

Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East -

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[jmw]

Bossman: But he was expecting a phone call or a personal visit at his desk. He did not see the email you sent.

Me: He DID see the email. He responded to to them.

And:

.....you need to communicate in a manner more acceptable to them. Proof of email is obviously insufficient in their eyes.

Adopting their "acceptable" communications style will do no good. You need to adopt a hybrid approach.

Why?
It may be acceptable to them for you to phone or have face to face chats but unless they have CCTV or hidden recording gear, and you can access it, you are being asked to do away with whatever record keeping you currently have and thus expose yourself even more to the criticisms they want to make and to have no evidence to support your claims.

They did not say:
"Yes, fine Cass, by all means keep sending the emails and making sure you get replies, but we think it would help the current situation if you would follow up with face to face discussions or even call him and discuss what you've said. If something changes, then by all means send a confirmation email and ask for a reply, but again, follow up with verbal communications."
And there is nothing wrong with suggesting that an actual conversation is a good idea. It is a mistake to assume emails or memos are a satisfactory way to communicate. They make good records but are often a poor way to reach understanding.

But it seems they are suggesting that you rely exclusively on deniable verbal communications.

Now it is true that some people don't work well with emails and memos. Some people really do work better and communicate better by the old fashioned way of talking. But if decisions are made and directions given, then these must be evident in some form of record.
So even if they haven't said keep on emailing, it would be my advise to make it a habit to email, to phone and discuss, to request an email response and include references to verbal communications in the emails.
You need the records to protect yourself.
It will help a great deal if you start talking to the man even if that is difficult. It shows you being helpful and willing to do what it takes.
I doubt they would be so foolish as to require you to keep no written records - but two bean counters jumping ship is indeed a sign that all is not well and you just need to last until you get a new job.
I hope you are looking for a job anyway.

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[beej67]

No, guys, it's too late to rebuild these bridges.

Purely my opinion of course, but her superiors are giving her a ration of (mmrmhfmm) to send her a message to find a new place to work. They've decided they can afford to lose her. It's time for Cass to jump ship before things get worse. If she leaves before they lay her off, then she might at least get some good recommendations out of the breakup.

Then again, she's at the tail end of the recession, so it might not be a horrible idea to let them lay her off, collect unemployment for a year or two or however long Obama's letting you do that for nowadays, and go get a Masters degree or something. Job market should be stronger when she gets out, and she'll have the experience as a leg up over all the other kids popping out with Masters degrees and no work skills.

/shrug

Time to hit the bricks, Cass.



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[looslib]

beej67,

Cass has just returned to the workforce after her last layoff. Not sure she would want to be in the unemployed line again this soon.

She is in a bad situation, but hopefully she can ride it out until she can find another job.

We all go through phases in our careers where we get the bad manager. You can either adapt or move on.


"Wildfires are dangerous, hard to control, and economically catastrophic."

Ben Loosli

 

[KENAT]

As to the hybrid approach JMW suggests, how about my classic...

"I'm just sending this email to confirm our conversation where you said 'yada, yada, yada'."

Or something like that. It's still no guarantee though.

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[beej67]

Cass has just returned to the workforce after her last layoff. Not sure she would want to be in the unemployed line again this soon.

Then her best option is probably to stick around until they lay her off and go to grad school on her unemployment check.

It seems pretty clear from her last couple of posts that she took the approach of "I'm right, now you guys choose who's side you're on" with her management, and they unsurprisingly chose the old timer instead of the new upstart, despite how "right" she may have been. Even in engineering, relationships are very important. That's a hard lesson to learn, but the important thing is to learn it for next time.

Being nice to people goes a long way.



Hydrology, Drainage Analysis, Flood Studies, and Complex Stormwater Litigation for Atlanta and the South East -

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