Becoming friends with clients, and mixing work/life? 10

[milkshakelake]

I'm not sure how to handle situations where clients or industry peers want to hang out. For example, a certain client invited me to come out for drinks or to a restaurant 3 times so far, and it was a bit hard to say no. This will sound outrageous, but he bought the same Porsche I have after he saw mine and now wants to go to Porsche meets together. Another business relationship invited me to a bathhouse, so we went and relaxed, but I was questioning what I was doing there. Last week, a client came to train our office for zoning (which we clearly said we'd pay for), didn't take the money, invited us out to dinner, and said he considered us friends and would never charge for it.

I'm just not sure how much to blend friendship and professional life. I feel like if I have a strong connection with someone, it makes it harder to do business. I have to charge clients fair rates, but when we're friends, I feel like they ask me to go above and beyond compared to other clients. I don't need more friends in my life. I have a family and close friends already. I know business is built on trust and relationships, but I have a feeling that too much intermingling interferes with standard business procedures. I wonder if I'm being too transactional in business, but business is literally a series of transactions.

Then there's the problem of relatives. I hired one in the past, I fired him for continual lack of performance, and we didn't talk for like 3 years. Time healed the wounds and we're close again. But it was just a rough spot with someone I'm quite close with. Since I own a business, I have relatives asking to work for me. I have to constantly turn them down because I don't want a repeat of the past experience. If I hire a friend or relative, I just wouldn't be able to treat them as I would any employee.

Anyone have similar experiences or opinions to the contrary?

 

[milkshakelake]

@NorthCivil I have some Chinese clients (immigrated from mainland) and they throw expensive parties and dinners like no tomorrow. I haven't yet had the situation where they want to be actual friends, but they do require extra attention and time outside of work (which I just treat as work). They also drink like fish and expect everyone to do as well. They genuinely don't understand the concept that I don't like alcohol, no matter how many times I explain it. It's like some kind of offense to them. So I just nurse a whiskey so I don't sour the relationship too much. I imagine if I were actually doing business in China, the no-drinking thing would be a real, quantifiable deterrent to how far I'd get in business. I've heard of a similar culture in Korea and Japan.

 

[NorthCivil]

@Milkshake

yes, "not drinking", that doesnt fly in most asian business circles. At least if you have any desire for building any sort of relationship. I've heard its kind of changing, a bit, with the younger generation.

I reckon you would be better not to attend the function at all, than to attend and not drink. Or attend, have a quick drink, and then shoot off early for some "family" issue.