Client Paws SO at Industry Party 1

[casseopeia]

There are numerous industry events over the holidays and they are usually pretty tame affairs. But there was one where a very drunk client of my SO’s (significant other) was ALL OVER him. She jumped into every photo we tried to have taken of the two of us, and then insisted on a ‘private photo’ with him alone.

I just stood stone-faced watching her paw at him and sit in his lap until her coworker finally stepped in and pulled her off of my SO. I still feel a bit unsure how to handle this. Both of us work in the same industry, but for different companies. Any kind of ‘scene’ would make the gossip rounds and make everyone look bad. I still feel like I should have said something, but what?

I know from bartending experience that no one who's had too much to drink, but not enough to vomit or pass out, takes the news well. And now I'm dreading Friday's two parties that I have to attend.



"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[kchan711]

Other than being unprofessional, especially being at an industry event, it's the responsibility of your SO to lay the law down. Besides, the woman is only doing a disservice to herself in the eyes of other company members. It would be wise to execute a quick removal from the party for both you and your SO.

Personally (I know I'll get chastised for this), if some guy were hanging all over my wife, I would have broken him in half. To tell you the truth, it would have happened right before he got to her based on my wife signaling me. It's sorta like the "Bat Signal", but the response time is way faster.

Kyle Chandler

http://www.chiefengineering.net

 

[Unotec]

Your SO is the one that has to lay the hammer down, as kchan711 correctly noted.

I am not a sexist, but, in spite that I would have probably have had the exact same reaction as kchan mentions, I would expect a lady like yourself not to go down to blows.

Actually, if you SO handles it correctly it will make you look even better and discretely brushing the slut away.

HEY! And take it as a compliment, somebody thinks your SO is hot too!

So, what you have to do is talk to your SO. (and watch his body language, you want to make sure he actually wants to brush this lady away)

<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying ” Damn that was fun!” - Unknown>>

 

[MacGyverS2000]

I'll agree and disagree with kchan on this one.

You need to express your dislike of her shenanigans to your SO (in a non-confrontational way, mind you), but mostly remind him that you would appreciate it if he would do whatever is possible within the realm of civility to discourage her... standing up when she goes to sit on his lap, when she goes in for a huge hug he can quickly roll out of it and into a two-armed hug with you, etc.

I do not feel you should leave the party, however, unless you both feel her advances are so over the top that diverting your attention to others is impossible. If she insists on pushing between the two of you, that may be the case. You should not allow her to ruin your enjoyment of the festivities, but you should also be able to discourage her advances without causing a scene (or rumors).


Dan - Owner

http://www.Hi-TecDesigns.com

 

[TheTick]

A little video would go a long way towards shaming.

 

[Unotec]

She's her SO's customer, though. There is a business relationship that probably wouldn't be wise to damage. I'd be very careful about shaming her. It would be the second to last resource, being the last a good punch.

<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying ” Damn that was fun!” - Unknown>>

 

[livingston]

I guess that I am just a little different. Had that been me and my SO, the lady would have understood quite clearly that I was displeased and so would he. It doesn't take a scene to make a point. Always smile, but make your point understood.

 

[IRstuff]

If I were your SO and my wife were you, I would get killed for not pushing back. Your SO is not a lump on a log, so he needs to "delicately" extricate himself, for both their sakes. If his client is sufficiently embarassed, she might not send further business his way in any case, so preventing that occurrence is best for all parties involved.

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[MiketheEngineer]

Somehow - he needs to take the first step and stop her. A signal to you might be helpful in order for you to help him to disengage from her...

Of course - he may have enjoyed the attention - if so - then you and he need to have a talk..

 

[MikeHalloran]

Cass, I think you did it about right. Capucine might have worked just a hint of high-class disdain into her stoneface.

Guys can be taken out back for an attitude adjustment, and they'll get over it. Women don't get over _anything_, especially if it's their own damn fault.



Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[ewh]

I agree with the others that it should be up to your SO to defuse the situation. If she gets away with this type of behavior, she may begin to feel that she is entitled to continue in this manner. If your SO really can't afford to lose her as a client, you just may have to grin and bear it for his sake. If he can, he needs to define the boundaries to her in no uncertain terms. Regardless, it is up to him to ensure that she understands that there are boundaries.

The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. - [small]Hunter S. Thompson[/small]

 

[civilperson]

Grow a thick skin and a short memory.

 

[casseopeia]

In defense of my SO, I don’t think he could have done anything different. The event was caught with my camera which I had given to a coworker of mine to get a photo of me and my SO, but then this attorney jumped into every shot and started pawing and saying that when wanted to go to a private place to get a photo of the two of them. My SO said, no, I think right here in front of the gong will be nice. It seemed like that was going to be it until he sat down at a table with another consultant and this woman sat in his lap. I hardly got my entire sharp breath into my lungs when the attorney’s coworker pulled her off. My SO looked positively stricken.

We were on our way out anyway, so we quickly said goodbye to the host and left. The only thing I told my SO is that I was disappointed that we didn’t get a good shot of just the two of us.

It’s not a good time right now to start offending your client base, so if I spot her on Friday, I’ll probably just steer clear. I’ll tell my SO if I am nearby and she starts up, he should grab my arm and say, “I don’t believe you’ve met my girlfriend, she works for XYZ and is an expert in painting, masonry stucco and structural problems. Honey, didn’t you want to go say hi to your client over there?”

I'll just smile and be pleasant, and tell this woman that she certainly brings the ho, ho, ho to the holiday party.




"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[SomptingGuy]

I've been there before.

When you're spoken for and at a do, you just can't beat them off fast enough. Life isn't fair.

- Steve

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

Cass' ... "she certainly brings the ho, ho, ho to the holiday party"
That's cute. Can I assume the underlying interpretation involved just the one ho' ?

 

[MikeHalloran]

SO might mention something about you needing to go home and clean your guns...



Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[casseopeia]

Yes, CBL. I thought it was slightly better than looking around and proclaiming in a very loud voice that the skank patrol must be on break.

Mike, I'll have to run that by the SO. He might also add that my brother the arms dealer (true), just sent a new shipment I was dying to try out (not true).

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[jmw]

Cass, it sounds like you and your SO have it well in hand and you understand each other.

But it is a valuable reminder that office workers and party's don't always go well together.

The usual face saving device in these cases is for the transgressor to claim not to remember anything about the evening and for everyone else to assure them that nothing happened.

Office party's are a recipe for bad behaviour of some kind or other and to my mind should be strictly employees and SOs only. These are not the right forum to which to invite clients, that is just asking for trouble.

These days I don't go to office party's but my wife and I do enjoy going to conferences and to the gala dinners that are usually arranged. Mind, I only go if I am invited to speak, but that has taken us to at least one a year for the last few years. Last week we were in ANtwerp and it was a great do (apart from the fact we drove and she navigated and today is the first time she has spoken to me since we got back). But we trust each other implicitly and I know she is going to drag some poor guy off to the dance floor and generally have a good time. She may even get me onto the dance floor when I have had enough go juice inside me. Funnily enough, no matter how much seems to be drunk no one ever seems to go too far at these dos. It may be because they are concious that this is a professional forum.

But, again, I question the sense of inviting clients to an office party... too much to go wrong. Always suspect a manager who invites clients along as it suggests he wants to entertain on the cheap and hasn't thought it through. There is nothing so bad for a manager as when his clients see him get "roughed up" (verbally) by some aggrieved worker who has let his/her hair down just a bit too far.


JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[IRstuff]

Ours come in two flavors, either a sitdown banquet with dancing after, or a company lunch.

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[ajack1]

So someone had too much to drink at an office Christmas party and got flirty with some they shouldn’t have done, probably woke up with a really sore head and deeply regretted what they did.

I am sure this has never happened before anywhere in the world and will never happen again.