Client Paws SO at Industry Party 1

[casseopeia]

There are numerous industry events over the holidays and they are usually pretty tame affairs. But there was one where a very drunk client of my SO’s (significant other) was ALL OVER him. She jumped into every photo we tried to have taken of the two of us, and then insisted on a ‘private photo’ with him alone.

I just stood stone-faced watching her paw at him and sit in his lap until her coworker finally stepped in and pulled her off of my SO. I still feel a bit unsure how to handle this. Both of us work in the same industry, but for different companies. Any kind of ‘scene’ would make the gossip rounds and make everyone look bad. I still feel like I should have said something, but what?

I know from bartending experience that no one who's had too much to drink, but not enough to vomit or pass out, takes the news well. And now I'm dreading Friday's two parties that I have to attend.



"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[civilperson]

Too bad, so sad, be glad!

 

[Drumchaser]

cass

If it were my SO and me in the same situation:

My SO (formalized and documented)would have fired up on the hooch.

Been very agitated at the nerve of this woman (faced or not) regardless of her status as client, owner, VP etc.

The happs would not have went down as professionally as they did for you.

Good job, and well done.

 

[mauricestoker]

You may have handled it properly, but you might be missing an opportunity at a delicious helping of revenge served cold. Don't know about yourself, but every place I've worked at there was at least one career bachelor engineer with the social awareness of a baboon in heat. If so, make it a point to introduce them. If you know such a person, then let them know that a desperate woman needs their attention.

 

[jmw]

Drumchaser,
in such circumstances, however innocent you may think you are, do you not also find you get accused of encouraging the "hooch"? i.e. having seen the "hooch" into an ambulance, would you not be next to feel the heat?

"Well you must have said something."
"I saw the way you looked at her."
"Women don't act that way for no reason." etc. etc.

In the circumstances, Cass is being very tolerant and understanding and her SO is a lucky man.

Myself, in a similar situation, could look forward to a very intensive grilling later on in which it will be asserted that I encouraged the woman, I must have encouraged her on some previous occassion, women don't behave like that for no reason.

I'm not sure how seriously my SO will actually take the actual case in hand but she will probably think it an opportune situation and will thus be sure to gather enough fuel for this to become a trademark feature in future arguments.

I would guess, an incident like this, properly prepared, would probably warrant the number 4 or number 5 spot in the list.... the list of crimes that is dragged out every time an argument starts and then goes off track (they all go off track because the cause of the argument is irrelevant and often fanciful) and my SO can start an argument at the drop of a hat, and she'll drop the hat if no one else will.

It may be 10 years or more before it drops low enough down the list not to get a mention except in biggish (two or three day) arguments.

Yes, some woman draping herself over me at a party would certainly get to 4 or 5 on the list.
If it were me, I'd wonder what I had done to the "hooch" that she would want to get me in bad with the SO.

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[Qshake]

I also agree with JMW's view in that most, if not all, SO would have reacted as he postulates. Particularly the female SOs. Maybe sexist, but I think it is a stereotype that bears out the behavior.

Given that Cass hasn't or didn't react that way is a nod to her professionalism.

Regards,
Qshake

Eng-Tips Forums:Real Solutions for Real Problems Really Quick.

 

[casseopeia]

You guys make me sound so noble! I’ll assure you that’s not quite the case. I have my hormonal moments, too. I would attribute my reserve more to not drinking at these functions, and having the opportunity to reflect and study mistakes I’ve made in the past.

BTW, I did not see this woman at any other parties. I managed to not look foolish in front of people that may one day be my employer or client, and that's what counts most right now.

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[IRstuff]

I think that jmw has, at least, a valid viewpoint for HIS SO. As the OP indicates, there are women, and there are women.

Some act foolishly at parties and others don't. Likewise, there are women who keep score, and those that don't. Mine is in the former category. It took about 5 yrs for her to drop from arguments my transgressions on our wedding day.

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[jmw]

Gee, and I thought it was just me....

Of cours, I'm intrigued to know what you are supposed to have done on your wedding day.
Funny, something I am alleged to have done on my wedding day remains in the top 5 and is still there so the more important question is what have you done that is so heinous it has replaced your wedding day transgressions?
How many other guys have "wedding day transgressions" in their SO's top five?
Where do party bloopers (and hot hooches) fit in in your list?
(I'll find out tonight as it is New Year and we are out for dinner with magicians and singers promised).

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[IRstuff]

> Something to do with the limo, arranged by my best man, not showing up after the wedding

> Something to do with someone rearranging the banquet seating so that her guests and family were all at the back of the banquet room.

Naturally, both were my fault.

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[casseopeia]

IRstuff, You would NOT believe the things I thought of that would upset me so much as to bring it up repeatedly for years. Your transgression hardly rates as one.

OK, jmw, you gotta spill it now. What is it that you reportedly did?

And as far as women keeping score, I guess I'm not one of those. Too poor of a memory. But I am planning a little bonfire tonight, just me and the SO. I call it Burning the Baggage.

You talk about things that have been sticking points, or disagreements and when you resolve the problem, you figuratively burn the 'transgressions' of the other. You also have to burn your own self-criticism. And then the issue is dead and gone.




"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[IRstuff]

Thanks, like I said, there are women, and there are women...

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[jmw]

Well now, I think it was the mistaken belief that I was busy working on the roof at my mothers house.... we got married in january and the weather was not good, the day we got married it poured buckets and significant other fell over on the way up the path to the church. That of course was my fault.
As for working on the roof, I was helping my brother-in-law who had undertaken this task but it was actually several days before our wedding.... but try telling her that.

Anyway, just survived the New Years Party OK, well I think I did, who knows what despicable act will be alleged to have taken place when we have our next argument.
I did inadvertently pat some lady's bottom.... but I avoided dancing with either of the two very attractive half Italian girls and their tall brunette friend so I think I'm OK.

Significant other fortunately can have a few too many herself at these does and her memory is sketchy.

Last year, for example, we celebrated New Year on Malta and, not having to drive and the booze being cheap, I had rather too many G&Ts and beers and sparky wines. We got back to our hotel and I got up to go to the bathroom and went through the wrong door. I spent some very anxious moments naked in the hotel corridor hammering on the door and trying to wake significant other to let me back in. You see, she could have posted this rather high on the list but she remembers not a thing about it.

Next time I shall have the door key handcuffed to my wrist...of course, you've got to be sober enough to remember to do that...




JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[MacGyverS2000]

J, problem solved... just get the SO drunk early on at every party and she won't remember any transgressions.


I'm finding the "little things" help avoid the "big arguments"... Dell was kind enough to provide me with a nice post-Chanukah present for the SO, a 22" widescreen LCD for the computer. Her eyesight isn't what it used to be just a couple of years ago, so I thought this was a nice replacement. The "little thing" on this occasion was changing the screen saver to a bouncy text message of "Dan Loves Me... ", so she came home to a big ol' monitor with a nice message. Won major brownie points for that one Suddenly she couldn't remember what it was she wanted to pull a Spanish Inquisition on me about.

Dan - Owner

http://www.Hi-TecDesigns.com

 

[jmw]

Nice idea if you could guarantee the life and soul of the party every time but it is a bit hit and miss whether I get Miss Party Animal or Mrs. Joe Stalin.

On the other hand, the judicious mix of booze can render her sleepy but if we get to that state of play I'd guess Mickey Finns are cheaper.

Yesterday was Miss Party Animal.



JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[garpe]

Personal to MikeHalloran:
Never have I heard man/woman differences put so succinctly. That is definitely a nugget of the highest order.

Greg Robinson

 

[MikeHalloran]

<blush>


Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[msquared48]

I agree with unotec here. Let him handle it, if it has not been already.

Mike McCann
MMC Engineering