Co-Worker as Roommate? 2

[casseopeia]

In my quest for better digs, a better landord and less rent, I've been looking to move in with a girlfriend, and possibly a third person, but 2 friends have bailed. A male co-worker suggested that I consider him as the third room mate. Lots of 3-bedroom houses available for reasonable rent here in Marin county, CA.

It seemed like the answer to my prayers, but now that the original roommate is reconsidering her situation, it's down to just me and this 23 year old CAD guy. Even though I could biologically be his mother, and no possibility for romance exists (in my mind at least), this has caused a few snickers in the office.

What seemed like a good idea is starting to look, well, not so good.

So the question is, would you live with a co-worker, same gender or no? A couple of people in the office have said never live with a person you work with, NO MATTER WHAT.

Seems like an extreme view, or am I just clouded by desperation?

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[epoisses]

Even though some people work with the people they live with, I wouldn't advise you to live with the people you work with, if you see the subtle difference between the two. Even if the 23 year old is a real stud, you will have plenty of occasions to meet him at breakfast... but not EVERY day ;-)

 

[IRstuff]

I roomed with a co-worker for about 6 months prior to his getting married. No biggie. I think there's less of an issue with men in this regard. But, you'd still have to be somewhat compatible to start with. One guy from work reeked so bad that you aways had to stay upwind of him, which is awfully hard to do in an office ;-(

Had about 20 roommates from college through about 21 yrs of working.

Mostly OK other than:

1 dopehead who drink all my liquor (I guess that makes him an alcoholic dopehead)

1 utterly deadbeat idiot, who got drunk, drove to the liquor store 2 blocks away to buy more liquor and got a DUI. Also failed to appear on a different charge and I had to bail him out (lost that money in addition to about 6 months of rent. At least, he bought his own liquor)

1 female and her boyfriend whose lovemaking literally shook the house.




TTFN

 

[Ashereng]

I didn't know what MILF meant either.

Ooops. Now I do.

"Do not worry about your problems with mathematics, I assure you mine are far greater."
Albert Einstein
Have you read FAQ731-376 to make the best use of Eng-Tips Forums?

 

[Senselessticker]

Wow...strange topic. I wouldn't dare consider living with a co-worker (especially of the opposite sex). I tend to be mistrusting of just about everyone anyway, but I simply would not want someone from my professional life having knowledge of my personal life (unexicitig as it may be). Not to mention how such an arrangement would be perceived around the office. Sounds like the making of a great scandelous movie though...

 

[IRstuff]

engineer's life and scandalous movie just doesn't seem to go together ;-)

TTFN

 

[jmw]

Casseopia,
IRStuff's comment jogged my memory and I just remembered the belly dancing thread....

You gotta give us a all the facts with a question like this:
you simply pose the question as being about sharing a flat with a 23 year old and you get one set of answers, add in the belly dancing and I have to say you are gonna be playing the straight man(woman) to all the gagsters in the office.....

Now, is there anything else you want to mention? (IRstuff is now doing a re-think and should soon have a scriptwriter lined up......)

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[DaveVikingPE]

"engineer's life and scandalous movie just doesn't seem to go together"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0042947/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089346/

 

[GregLocock]

The Goldblum one is one of my favourite films ever, though I haven't seen it for 15 years.

Cheers

Greg Locock

Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.

 

[casseopeia]

OMG - I don't know where to start except thank you all! You can stop waving all those red flags now. I see them! I see them! I think I am letting a slightly desperate, but not unmanageable situation cloud my judgement.

So in the interest of providing ALL the details jmw, I'll try to give enough background without going over board.

I've been out of the office for trial preparation. I'm the declared expert witness in a case that is going to trial because my boss is going to be out of the country. This will be my first experience testifying in court and it's been a lot of pressure (work stress)!

The attorneys didn't think I fit the part, no pot belly and not enough grey hair. I guess they thought I would be a pushover for the opposing side, but I passed the 'doesn't-crack-under-pressure-knows-her-sh!t-test.' What's funny is I got the grill test on the same day I threatened to run over my landlord with my car if he did not stop coming into my apartment without proper notice (and once without knocking while I was still in bed).

I turned my landlord in to the local building department a couple of weeks ago for redoing all the gas piping and plumbing without a permit and for violating several relevant codes.

The building department came down on him pretty hard for a lot more stuff than what I told them and pasted a cease and desist/stop work order on the door. So the relationship I have with my him is a bit strained, to say the least. Hence the pressure to move out.

My girlfriend, I'll call her Habibi, who was ready to bail out, decided to apply for the LSAT and will be going to law school in San Francisco in fall. She looked at her own situation and decided she would rather live with me than get an apartment in the City and give up her car. So she is back in, but she would still like to look at 3-bedroom houses and get a 3rd person. And she doesn't want to move until July, after the LSAT. Makes things a bit more difficult for me, but I'll survive. So right now, arunmrao, I'm staying in the same place at least through May and June, difficult as that may be.

Habibi and I decided the 23 year old CADguy would not work, not so much for the MILF factor, but more for the 'picking his toenails on the kitchen table' stuff. He already has occasional farting contests in the office with his office partner who is 56 and should know better. Oh, and for those who (MOM) still (I"D) don't (LIKE to) know (F_) what MILF is, here's a link:

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/MILF

If it's blocked by your system, go rent the movie American Pie and pay close attention to the scenes with Stifler's Mom. You might get the idea.

And yes GregLocock, roommates are for kids, but it is a lifestyle that is very prevalent in this area due to the extreme cost of housing. It's a phenomenon that I don't think is common in many places outside the SF bay area. Median price for an average home, 900 to 1,100 sf in Marin County just hit $965,000. And we are not talking pristine homes. These places, many of which were built in the '70's by pot-smoking hippies need work, and usually a lot of it. I know because the firm where I work also does renovation design for homes 3 million and up. Average cost of renovation is $500,000 just to cover basic deferred maintenance.

The increasing cost of housing keeps outstripping income, so it just gets further and further away. My only chance at it is to really save in rent, work a couple of jobs and try to save enough to buy in at the bottom.

jmw, I can't think of a belly dancing angle, except that my girlfriend is also a belly dancer and I'm sure the prospect of the occasional rehearsal with several more belly dancers at the house was of some interest to CADguy, but he and his toenails are out. I just told him that my girlfriend wasn't comfortable with living with a young guy that she might find attractive. OK, a TOTAL lie, but her real response was a little harsh and I didn't want to hurt his already fragile self esteem. It's that Mother-thing coming out again.



"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[DaveVikingPE]

Good for you!

The BEST kind of roommate is a grad student with a lot of studying to do. You're too busy to get on each other's nerves.

"He already has occasional farting contests in the office with his office partner who is 56 and should know better. "

Must be a joy to work there...

 

[IRstuff]

Actually, what's REALLY funny (well, sad, actually) is that the cost of housing in Cabo San Lucas isn't that far from SF ;-( In fact, I saw a one acre ocean-front lot listing for about $650K.


The Bay Area has had out of whack housing prices since the 80's. My first house hunting in 1982 took me to the hills just south of Los Gatos. Drove down an unpaved single-lane (for both directions) road, found a smallish 1200 sqft house that "needed TLC." No side of the house matched any other side in color and a couple of sides didn't even have the same finishing materials. That listed at 40% about the market median at the time.

TTFN

 

[jmw]

Hey, Casseopeia, there is the world of difference between "a Cadguy".... and a "farting CADguy"..... and you didn't think that was important either? .... I'm surprised you needed to post...I needn't have dug up the Belly Dancing thread...

PS While I was googling "MILF" (no, I didn't know either, so what? I lead sheltered life)I goggled (drooled) at "Belly dancer engineers".. and found rafts of them and all very attractive.... so hence, if you are already known as an attractive belly dancer, rooming with a 23 year old would have been a double whammy....







JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[casseopeia]

Must have been a low sugar day. Sometimes it takes writing stuff out and eating a decent meal to see through the fog. Habibi and I met up for breakfast today to make a list of house rules so the two of us would not get on each other's nerves. Then I had her meet CADguy. After he left she felt certain that unintentional romance was NOT going to be a problem. CADguy is actually a very nice, low key, but immature young kid. And we both thought having a decent young male around had its good points (safety, heavy lifting, car questions, etc.) BTW, one of the house rules is that no romantic partners move in.

She then had me write down anything he did in the office that could be construed as annoying...to anyone...for whatever reason. When I got to the farting thing, Habibi threw a half a muffin at my head and asked me if I had been doing mind-altering drugs. My suggestion that he could confine it to his room and we could stock house air freshener caused another bit of breakfast to leave her plate, and an acusation of smoking crack.

OK I get it. Farting Cadguy = bad roomie

Actually, reading your posts helped me immensely. I can't tell you how much I laughed. The whole thing with my landlord has me in knots and you guys have provided me with some humor, and pretty good insight to the level of my desperation.

And what the H-E-double toothpicks are you guys doing reading Engtips on Sunday! I thought I was the only one working today.

Then I find out that I'm not even the only engineer/belly dancer! Actually, I'm a licensed architect (still working on the engineer thing), but apparently there are other architect/belly dancers as well. BTW, none of the sites I saw are me. I don't have my own belly dancing website yet, but I am occasionaly mistaken for this very well known belly dancer at large events.

http://www.suhaila.com/Photogallery/performances/PhotogalleryPerformances5a.htm

Similar body type, same height, probably close in age, and some facial resemblance. But I in no way approach her level of skill. Suhaila is an amazing dancer who has devoted her life to the art. I'm always flattered that people think I am her.



"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[HgTX]

Now that it's all already settled...

Why is it that in grad school I routinely roomed with classmates (of various sexes, genders, orientations, and sanitation levels) and thought nothing of it, but when I think of the possibility of rooming with a co-worker, I immediately reject the idea because it would just be too much of that person? What's the difference? Is it just because I'm past the roommate stage of life and am fussier in my old age? Is it because roomie situations in a university setting are expected to change year to year whereas a co-worker rooming situation would be open-ended? Something else?

Hg

Eng-Tips policies: faq731-376

 

[IRstuff]

Lots less energy, perhaps. Along the lines of, "Oh, no, I've got to break in another roommate."

Also, a lot less interest in new things and willingless to experience new things.

TTFN

 

[DaveVikingPE]

"Then I find out that I'm not even the only engineer/belly dancer! "

Can I move in with you? I've had all my shots, etc.

 

[wes616]

Dave... She said the rules were no romantic partners... so I suspect that rules "us" out! :-( haha



Wes C.
------------------------------
When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions...

 

[DaveVikingPE]

rats.

 

[jmw]

I think the emabrgo only applied to 23 yr. old farting CADguys... so, just as soon as I can raise the air fare...
....OUCH!

Red I'm sorry, JMW's internet privaleges have been suspended.
"MILF" and "Belly Dancers" are definately not work related googles.

IT Department.
(Mrs. JMW - a very angry Mrs. JMW)



JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[TheBlacksmith]

"When I got to the farting thing, Habibi threw a half a muffin at my head..."

Hmm, farting and food fights, might be some attractions there, good thing you're foregoing the cad guy roommate thing.

With gas prices where they are, maybe we should start a new thread about carpooling with your co-workers. I've done it for years and we kid our supervisor about charging work to the travel time - its the only time we can complete a discussion without interruption.