How can I deal with a harrassing boss 13

[vancouverman]

I am stressed to the limits. I no longer feel like going to work everyday as I get a sick feeling in my stomach as I approach work. I constantly get butterflies in my stomach as I head to my boss' office knowing that no matter how good my reports are, I will be criticized for every single detail. I have started losing focus and concentration at work as I am beginning to feel unmotivated due to the bullying. I keep telling myself I still dont have my PEng so I need to suck it up and get the experience, but how long can I do this for when I feel I am getting depressed and losing sleep? I know others working for the same boss receive similar treatment but I don't feel that they want to take action as they are afraid to speak up.

I am a contractor so I am not sure how much Human Resources at the company can do for me but my headhunter doesnt seem to be doing much as all he is concerned about is his bottom line.

Any tips?

 

[kelowna]

Not worth it, quit!

Your health and sanity are more important than any job. Talk to him or his boss, tell them that your boss' behavior is not acceptable and that if it does not stop immediately you quit. If it does not, quit!

Labor laws protect you, but it would probably be difficult to prove.

 

[TheTick]

Headhunter won't do much of anything if you are already placed at one of his clients.

Assuming your work really is good, the only thing you can change is your reaction to your boss. Try a subtle but persistent offense. Don't just dump finished reports on him. Keep hitting him up to see what his expectations du jour are, and make a point of showing you understand and meet them.

It may be hard to keep a poker face, but the last thing that will help is showing you are hurt. People like him feed on that.

Start networking internally as much as you can, especially upwards (boss's peers & supervisor). You may learn some interesting and useful things.

 

[CorBlimeyLimey]

Treat him as a mentor, not a tormentor.

Next time you get together to review a report, take a notebook along and jot down all the criticisms. Ask him how he would have handled every detail he criticises and write down his suggestions.

If asked why you are taking notes, smile and tell him your new goal in life is to produce a report he can't criticise.

Keep track of how many details he dislikes and let him know when the number drops. "Wow, only 23 problems this time. I'm getting better ... or your getting softer."

Meantime, keep your eyes and ears open for another position elsewhere.

 

[SNORGY]

If it truly is bullying, he'll cross the line at some point. One of two approaches is effective:

(1) For a "salvageable jerk", set him up to cross the line, and then graciously let him off the hook when he does. He'll probably treat you differently from then on.
(2) For a complete "jerk", tell him that the next time he mistreats you, he will find himself through the window and splattered on the pavement like manure from a tall cow.

I have done both. Both have worked, but you have to have a pretty good read on the bully in order to decide which is the more likely to be effective.

Regards,

SNORGY.

 

[MikeHalloran]

Whoa, there, Bunky.

If you're a CONTRACTOR,

and the work/abuse is COMING HOME IN YOUR BELLY,

well, then, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.


When the Boss Ogre starts ranting, you just stop what you're doing, smile pleasantly, and listen to what he has to say, for as long as he wants to yell/talk. When he stops, smile more, and say 'thank you'.

He will probably ask why you so perversely thanked him for yelling at you. Respond that it's easier than actual work, AND HE IS PAYING YOU FOR IT. You don't need to speak the emphasis.


The other way to deal with it is to call in and take a day off, "Because THE VOICES told me to stay home and CLEAN MY GUNS". Again, the emphasis is for your benefit; you can speak very quietly.





Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[GregLocock]

Incidentally, when you correct the reports, does he accept them, or do you keep going round that loop?



Cheers

Greg Locock


New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

 

[vancouverman]

Yeah even with corrections, he still finds things to bother me about. I am considering quitting the position but want to start an intensive job hunt before doing that as the job market is still not 100%.

I need to do this for the sake of my sanity cuz no one should be afraid to approach their boss or go to work each day.

 

[TheTick]

The most dangerous warrior is the one who does not fear death. If you are not worried about losing your job, you can stop worrying about how you lose your job. I'm not saying to literally go down swinging, but do stand up for yourself.

I had a situation a few years ago, similar but not as severe. I was a contractor dealing with a boss who was not competent to be an engineering manager (he was a shop supervisor who assumed engineering manager spot when real one quit). I told my agency I was not happy with the unprofessional treatment. They understood and supported my effort to correct the situation, even if it meant "the worst".

 

[GregLocock]

So, the first thing you need to do is to make sure that when you correct a report the first time you don't have to do it again. That means he has to agree to the list of corrections he gave you to do.



Cheers

Greg Locock


New here? Try reading these, they might help FAQ731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

 

[tygerdawg]

As a contractor you're paid to be there, be treated like a leper, and take a lot of guff from a lot of people. Been there, hated it. Nowadays my attitude towards that is more like a consultant: I'll be your whipping boy, but you'll pay me handsomely for the priviledge.

If you're youngish, then relax and believe this: being fired ain't so bad, you'll get through it just fine.

On the other hand, "harassment" is one of today's society's Carcinogenic Keywords. I was harassed badly at one time by a boss all considered to be Satan's stepchild. Stressed me out terribly for a variety of reasons. Then I went to the HR Weasel and sobbed my story about my disabled kid, constant negative actions by Beelzebub, what have I done wrong, excellent performance reviews, etc. I told HR Weasel " 'harassment' is a very strong word, but I am ready to start using it". BINGO, DirtBag was severely reprimanded and packed off the following week to a "how to be a better manager" class. Any time that twit even looked at me funny from then on, off I went to HR Weasel and off DirtBag went to class again. Problem solved.

Carcinogenic Keywords to use sparingly: 'harassment' and 'hostile workplace' . The HR Weasels of the world will dive for cover when they hear them because it means "lawsuit".

TygerDawg
Blue Technik LLC
Virtuoso Robotics Engineering

http://www.bluetechnik.com

 

[mauricestoker]

One method I've used is stuttering. Drives people crazy. One unpleasant bunghole I worked for used to go up the wall when it took three minutes to stutter " yyyyyy...yyy.... okay". I had to watch Porky Pig alot to get it right. He avoided me for over a year until I told him I quit.

Eating flatulant foods is another approach. That one's tricky, some people like it.
That one never seemed to work with lawyers.

Like Mel the Diner said, the best defense is an offense. If you can be odious enough to avoid personal contact, then he will avoid you. Consider excessive scratching, frequently blowing your nose, phantom hand or leg syndrome, things stuck to your teeth, keep limburger cheese in your shirt pocket, etc, then tell him he's your role model. Be creative. Laugh at inappropriate times and tell him you have a family history of Tourette's. If you have to talk, go off on endless, pointless stories, the more boring and pointless, the better. I'd recommend watching Porky Pig and Grandpa Simpson for a while to get pointers.

 

[berkshire]

Vancouverman,
Amazon has a book for about $10.00 us

How to Work for an Idiot: Survive & Thrive-- Without Killing Your Boss [Paperback]
John Hoover

I would recommend it, I found it most useful some 20 years ago,dealing with a similar situation.

B.E.

 

[xJAyx]

You shouldn't be conerned about juming around a bit. It will not affect your application with APEG. I had four jobs on my experience report, and one of them was for two years under a non P.Eng supervisor. Make sure you keep a contact for your refrences on your P.Eng application.

First you need to figure out if this is your fault or your bosses. Then either fix your performance, or quit.

 

[tickle]

The OP appears to focus on the review of documents.

There is only one thing that you can change and that is how you deal with the situation. Treat the reviews / comments as advice. I have had reports come back to me covered in red. I have had others come back and not even simply spellos corrected. Which one is better for me, the company and the client?

Sometimes I look at what I have written and what appears to be a slightly different way the checker has written it, and think whats the point, why have they wasted their and my time. But as I have become the checker, I see some sentences that are written that are verbose and confusing, and how a simple rewrite to solve the problem is clearly obvious to me. And guess what, reviewers do not see everything the first time, or even the second.

If writing is a problem, read a style manual and a technical writing guide. Learn the basic rules (e.g. one to twelve written, spaces before units, capital first letter for days and months, avoid unnecessary abbreviations and contractions, correct unit symbols). Always use run the spelling and grammar checker. ALWAYS self check I mean ALWAYS.

 

[ash9144]

Every time the boss comes in your office turn on the Doors "The End". If that doesn't work then just start singing it yourself when you're around him.

 

[SomptingGuy]

One big difference between university and work is how your reports come back. At university you get a grade and it's over. At work you get the red pen and it's not over until the boss/checker likes it.

I give my texts to random people and appreciate their suggestions, be they content or style based.

- Steve

 

[graybeach]

In my experience with these types of bosses, CorBlimy's advice works best. It disarms them and puffs up their egos that you are really listening to their criticism. Eventually they see you as very smart because you seem to appreciate what they say.

If nothing else, use this as an opportunity to improve your technical writing skills. Most engineers, young and old, could benefit from improvement in this area.

 

[ornerynorsk]

You could try eating a big messy sandwich while sitting casually on the edge of HIS desk while he reviews your report. Appear to be really enjoying the sandwich, and ask him to repeat each point he makes several times. When finished, say "you didn't want any did you?", leave the sandwich wrapper on his desk, and excuse yourself, explaining that you left your drink at your desk, in the fridge, whatever. At least that way, you won't be hungry on your way to the recruiter to find a better job.

Seriously though, this is something nearly every person on this forum has had to deal with before. It comes down to your definition of what is the threshhold of acceptability of these issues in the workplace. I think it was said by another poster, these people feed on being able to parade their subordinates around in mad little circles. If you're able, ramp up your domineering side, and counter some of the bullying. Just my 2 cents.

 

[Radagast]

I feel CorBlimey’s advise is best as well. However, as a contractor from a fellow contractor, you could always fall back on the “Contractor’s Creed”, the Three C’s

Chaos Creates Cash

Then update the reports with a smile on your face.

Mike