making a commitment while backing out the door? 4

[OliverJDragon]

Hallo Eng-Tippers!

I don't think exactly this question has been asked here before; the closest is the "do I take this job knowing I'll still keep looking elsewhere for something better?" type of question but I think this is sufficiently different.

I have a stable job, but I do not plan to stay at this job. In addition, I've done more to let my superiors know this is coming than anyone in their right mind would.

Some of what I've been saying about leaving I would expect them not to believe--I've been saying for as long as I've been here that I don't plan to stay in this geographic region. But I've been saying that for long enough that I could see how they wouldn't believe me any more.

However, in the last couple of years I've also been telling them I don't plan to stick around very long once project X is done. And project X is now almost done.

It turns out, though, that they haven't listened to a word of that either. And now they want to increase my responsibilities, which means putting me through time-consuming and expensive training. This is the kind of thing I would have liked to do if I planned to stay, but I don't.

As I said, I've done more to let on to them that I lack long-term commitment than any sane employee would do. But it's one thing to say in passing that I don't think I'll still be around by the time the project gets into the usual post-construction finger-pointing phase, or that I don't think I'll be around much longer than so-and-so (who is retiring soon); another entirely to sit in a "where is your career here headed next" meeting with the boss and boss's boss and look them in the eye and tell them I've been updating my resume and not to count on any serious commitment from me any more.

So, other than stall and dodge these new responsibilities and training through the unknown length of a job search in These Trying Times, what do I do? It would be suicide to tell them I'm seriously looking elsewhere. But it doesn't feel ethical to accept the training and the credentials that I won't use for them. (Training is soon; use of it will probably not be for a couple of years.)

Predicted Eng-Tips answer: "You never know, you might still be there in a few years, take the training, you owe them nothing."

Response round 1: (a) I'm very, very done with this job and this location. I can't stay here for a few more years. I would sooner go back to grad school than stay here a few more years. (b) I won't feel guilty about them investing *time* in me when they could be working up another candidate (not that there is someone else right now or I'd be suggesting that someone else be given the opportunity) or a different plan altogether (which they'll have to do once I leave anyway), but it feels really wrong accepting thousands of dollars in training and a valuable credential just in time to walk away with it. Except that this appears to be the kind of offer I can't refuse.

Answer round 2?

OJD

p.s. It just occurred to me that these new responsibilities could be not so much a failure to take a hint but rather a deliberate attempt to win me over, as I've been rather overtly disgruntled lately; I'm not sure whether, if that's true, it makes me feel better or worse about the situation.

 

[TDAA]

I hand them my nicely worded and delighfully brief letter of resignation, and they say, "How dare you take all that training from us when you knew you were leaving?" I can say: (a) I told you I was leaving; you chose not to hear me; I chose not to press the point. (b) You wouldn't have taken no for an answer without my telling you I was leaving, and I'm sure you understand why I wouldn't tell you that.

Yep.

Heck, I was signed up for some $4,000 worth of training, then got laid off. They indicated that I could finish the training, and I did. They flushed their money down the drain, and that should be the same thought for you if you have told them you are leaving.

 

[vc66]

To me, you make no sense. You've been hinting to them, in your words "more than any sane employee would", yet you're afraid to tell them that you're looking for another job.

You shouldn't have said anything in the first place. You're the person who put yourself in this situation.

I would still take the training,though.

Is it something that is company specific? Or can it be used somewhere else?

V

 

[JLSeagull]

You are a commodity that is easily replaced. Take the training. Perform your tasks well until you leave. Leave the training material with the company if you leave. If they pay for the training the material is theirs.

 

[casseopeia]

Take the diamond ring. Don't go out of the house without looking your best. Refuse no good offers. Pack up while he's at work and hock the ring on your way out of town. Oops, this isn't the relationship forum?

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[FeX32]

... and make sure you flash that ring in his face before you go...


Fe

 

[OliverJDragon]

vc66--urh? The only situation I put myself in is being on a job hunt. The situation they put me in is not taking seriously the possibility that I'd be on one.

There's a world of difference between casual talk about what my future plans are and what is said during a performance-planning session.

Suppose I hadn't dropped any hints. I guess the situation would be better in that I wouldn't be annoyed at their failure to take a hint, but it would be worse in that I'd be more guilty about planning to leave. Either way I'm being offered valuable training resulting in a diamond ring, I mean credential, that I will be able to take with me, and either way I am not anticipating being available to deliver to them what they think they'll be getting out of this transaction.

I must 'fess that at first I was hoping to snag that credential on my way out regardless, but that was when it was just another bit of professional enrichment that we've talked about occasionally for various people in the office. When I brought it up, they upped the ante by tying my credential in particular to these anticipated increased job duties and also adding in the fancy training course to get the credential (plan A was a lower-rent option).

I still like the house-buying analogy. "Remember when so-and-so bought a house near the office, and then you cancelled his contract and said that he had been told this could happen and should have anticipated the possibility? This is like that."

Ah well. I suppose I could still be here a year from now, and although we don't really anticipate the need for me to use this training for another couple of years, in truth it could happen at any time. Which is what half of you are saying.

OJD

 

[MikeHalloran]

When I started in engineering, I'd have said you must stay for some time after receiving specialized training at company expense.

Now, I'd say accept it gratefully, but don't feel obligated to stay even a second longer than you want to be there.


Is it because the world changed, or because my perception of the world changed? It doesn't matter, really.

The current state of the world is that a company will express exactly zero loyalty to you, as mandated by the rules and laws that govern companies.

Similarly, you should not confuse your company with a friend.






Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[MacGyverS2000]

Mike,

In an age where few (any?) companies will hang onto their talent when times get tough, I have no compunction about walking out the door. They'd drop me in a heartbeat if it meant their bottom line increased.

Dan - Owner

http://www.Hi-TecDesigns.com

 

[MikeHalloran]

I know of a small company that kept their people through six months of no business, and are now doing well again. Unfortunately, they do not need my talents on a regular basis, and they don't recognize the situations where I could help. That's >one< company, out of hundreds where I have contacts.






Mike Halloran
Pembroke Pines, FL, USA

 

[MedicineEng]

a) take the training;
b) eventually you will enjoy your increased responsibilities;
c)If you do find another job, be polite in your way out;
d)Offer them a reasonable time for the handover;

Is it fair to take an expensive training to leave before the company can recover the investment? No.
Should you sacrifice yourself doing something that you hate because you feel that you are not being fair? No, unless you like masoquism.

So, good luck with the training and with the job hunt.