Question re: bullying 4

[SylvestreW]

My wife has a situation at work that we're trying to figure out how to handle.
It's a small office, approx. 10ppl, with 1 manager, 3 intermediates and a bunch of juniors (<3 yrs out of school). The office is a sattelite office, with the head office in another province. HR is at head office and tends to leave things up to the manager to decide.

My wife's considered an "intermediate" and does oversee a couple people from a technical standpoint but these juniors don't actually report to her!

One junior, a girl (the only female junior - and let me know if that matters) works with my wife quite a bit, and they get along very well. The junior recently informed my wife that she went home crying late last year because one of the other "intermediates" (i.e. he's on the same level as my wife) openly laughed/criticized her regarding her english speaking abilities.

My wife has noticed the guy making negative comments about immigrants previously (i.e. statements such as "we shouldn't hire that person because we'll spend more time editing his reports for grammar" etc.) but dismissed it mostly. However, after recently learning that it's affecting the junior girl, my wife's concerned that something should be done.

The junior is Chinese but has lived in Canada for >10yrs, and (IMHO) speaks very well (mind you, I've only met the girl once or twice). The junior is young and really only talks with my wife. She doesn't feel comfortable speaking with the manager.

So, we're talking about this, and the quick/easy answer is report this to the manager etc. but a bit of thinking... it's a very small office, it's obvious who made the complaint and who's being complained about. It'll make the office atmosphere terrible.
As well, (My wife's words - not mine!) women are more sensitive, and perhaps the junior was over-reacting.

What would you do?

-
Syl.

 

[TheTick]

It will continue if it is allowed to continue.

 

[graybeach]

I think your wife should have a friendly word with the offender. Maybe he does not realize that his comments are hurtful.

 

[jmw]

If she has noticed this behaviour with regards to other people then it is now first hand knowledge.
If he is of an equivalent position to herself then she risks being treated by him in a similar way except as a "woman" rather than an immigrant.
People like this with one bad attitude often have others as well.
Your wife may prefer to act as an intermediary between the complainant and the manager or HR. If HR are on another site they cannot know what is going on unless someone tells them.
It may be that the manager has no idea what is going on, especially if the victims hesitate to approach him. Why? is it simply that they unsure of themselves or is he part of the problem? Your wife needs to be sure which of these it is and decide who to approach.
Since one of the juniors has spoken to your wife she cannot really ignore the situation but if she is not the supervisor of this junior then she has been approached because she is approachable.

She might discuss with this junior what the options are. She might also make an "off the record" enquiry of HR what the drill is in a "hypothetical situation". This is a way to tip off HR that something is amiss. It may be that they can make a general reminder to all staff about acceptable behaviour.

However, "a nod's as good as a wink to a blind horse." The offender will simply usually ignore the reminder and will not think it applies to him. Then the junior must be encouraged take some action herself. Again, an off the record approach to HR will get her some attention and especially coming after a "hypothetical" they should be sensitive to something going on. They can't afford not to.
Whatever else, the behaviour must be addressed but your wife has to be careful not to be drawn into it directly.

All sorts of wrong connotation's can be put on that. A friendly heads up to HR or the manager is one thing but getting involved with a junior's complaint, not her junior, can be misinterpreted.

It all depends also on her relationship with the manager and her assessment of him. If he is a good sort but ignorant, he would rather welcome and off the record approach so he can do something. If she thinks he may be part of the problem then she definitely needs an arms length approach.

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[ykee]

I think the first step is to document, both your wife and the junior need to do this. I think the next step would be for your wife to approach the other intermediate. She should have a pointed conversation about this -- not confrontational though. Document this. Good luck, these things are always messy.

The next step would be to advise the junior in taking some sort of self-confidence course, or something like that. In a perfect work, this is not necessary, but I doubt it will be the last time that she will experience racism/sexism etc, in the work place. Please note: I am not saying that the junior is to be blame, or responsible for the intermediate's actions, I'm saying that her life will likely be easier if she gets the self confidence to stand up for herself.

 

[IRstuff]

My wife has noticed the guy making negative comments about immigrants previously (i.e. statements such as "we shouldn't hire that person because we'll spend more time editing his reports for grammar" etc.) but dismissed it mostly.

What she should do is to have a talk with the person, and warn him that he's leading the company right into a "hostile workplace" lawsuit.

But, the question is how far are you and your wife willing to take? Will you and she be willing to lose her own job over this?

Abstract ethics is one thing, but losing one's job is another.

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[BJC]

Document a few examples. Notes in the form of a log will work, who said what, when and context.
After you get about 6 or 8 Show them to the offending party and tell him your concerned and that you don't like the situation. If you get a negative reaction send them all to HR. State in your letter that it's causing problems in the immediate workplace and is a potential land mine for the company. Send a copy to the company president and the offender.
Be prepaired to loose you job. Ethics can sometimes be expensive. In the big picture it's the right thing to do.

 

[Unotec]

I'd try to witness the situation somehow. I AM NOT RACIST OR ANYTHING LIKE IT, actually I'm a foreigner where I work and have worked around the world. The oriental culture, particularly oriental women, tend to see things a little different than the occidental culture. I'd give the benefit of the doubt that the guy is just a little of a redneck and does not have good people skills. It might just be in the context that it was said; might have been intended to be a joke. Now, if the case was different and he is beign offensive, he needs to be confronted by someone with authority and/or the right personality.

<<A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend
will be sitting beside you saying ” Damn that was fun!” - Unknown>>

 

[TheTick]

I think if Mr. Offender somehow got the message that he looks and sounds like a boob when he speaks that way, he will stop.

It does affect the company. Bigotry is not a prized jewel in anyones public relations crown.

 

[whyun]

See

http://www.eeoc.gov

for federal regulations.

Quote from the webpage:
"Petty slights, annoyances, and isolated incidents (unless extremely serious) will not rise to the level of illegality. To be unlawful, the conduct must create a work environment that would be intimidating, hostile, or offensive to reasonable people."

Also, discrimination based on "Proficiency in English" is not one of the Discrimination Types, though it can be somewhat related to racial (just not a "particular" race).

Putting this guy in a corner could have an adverse outcome. If I were his supervisor, I would have the HR from the headquarter arrange a training on this topic at the branch office.

 

[TheTick]

Sounds like our OP is exo-USA (Canada). EEOC can only offer sympathy.

My parents are both foreign-born. They could both teach most of us a thing or three about English grammar.

 

[jmw]

Time enough for a confrontation later.
All very well to encourage your wife to take direct action but there are better ways; bring to the attention of management or HR, indirectly as I've suggested.
I personally wouldn't like to confront some bigot with the expectation that he will simply change overnight from bigot to a normal human being. Far more likely he will resent some "little woman" who has no authority over him pr the juniors in question trying to tell him what is right and wrong. He is more likley to think she is trying to make trouble for him for some other reason.
It isn't your wife's responsibility so long as there is a manager there who does have both the authority and the responsibility and an HR department at head office. Take your choice and see what happens.
Time to play hero later on.
Also, chances are that if she raises a ruckus and then the affected junior gets frightened for her job, chances are she'll deny it all and where does that leave your wife.
You know, when you have a police department you let them catch the crooks... you have management and HR try them first.

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[SylvestreW]

Thanks for the replies all.
My wife did end up speaking 1-on-1 with the manager regarding the issue, and quite surprisingly, the manager was aware of the guy's behavior and did not approve of it, but never took any action because he didn't observe any negative effects.
Now, knowing that the junior was bothered, he plans on speaking with the guy. He also plans on speaking with the junior (as he's not happy she didn't say anything to him directly, and that she didn't say anything for so long).

One thing though, the manager doesn't plan on involving HR, to spare the guy etc etc.

Either way, my wife's out of the circle now (and that's absolutely fine with us).

-
Syl.

 

[TheTick]

the manager was aware of the guy's behavior and did not approve of it, but never took any action because he didn't observe any negative effects.

I've said it before...
"Bull$#!+ persists because it is allowed to persist."

More often than not, everyone knows, and no one does anything.

 

[IRstuff]

But, that's the American way, "no harm, no foul."

TTFN

FAQ731-376

 

[jmw]

Sounds like a negative passive approach; very risky for the company and for the manager as he is now self-admittedly aware that there is a problem and he has done nothing to resolve it.

It means that the first time he has "evidence" of "harm" is is likely to be when a prosecution commenced.

A good manager, aware of the problem, would act anyway; it is called prevention. It is also called protecting your backside.

If any of these instances end up getting serious i.e. an official complaint laid outside of the company then the company will distance themselves from the behaviour of the bully and lay the blame on the manager.

He doesn't need a complaint to go talk with the guy and tell him to clean up his act, he has seen and is aware that the behaviour is unacceptable and that is all he needs.

He also could have spoken with the victims because, for a whole lot of reasons, the victims will often hesitate to speak up, yet here he is about to tell the victim off for not speaking up.... what signs has he ever given that anyone complaints would be treated properly?

Your wife may be out of the loop on this one but what happens next time? are they all going to come to her as the only receptive and sympathetic person? the only one with the B***s to go do something? I think she needs to see what open action is taken by the manager before deciding the problem is solved. It may just be deferred.

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[TheTick]

Apperently "only the silent or disenfranchised hurt = no foul".

 

[RVSWA]

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." Edmund Burke

Apparently the "Age of Enlightenment" didn't take full effect on the fella... perhaps it requires a red-line...

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing."

 

[bunyala]

What does the employee manual state about interactions between employees? Making reference to the employee manual may be a good starting point.

 

[SylvestreW]

A lot of people are nochantly posting about rules, regs and not turing a blind eye, but I wonder how many people here, on hearing an off-colour joke, have stood in front the offender and explained that it's not company policy etc etc. (I suspect most join in the laughter)

It's easy to say "report/confront the offender" but in reality, it's rarely that simple (hence my question here).

-
Syl.