It always amuses me but no longer surprises me that engineers as a group have such highly developed abilities to see empirical evidence and draw conclusions from it have such a blind spot when it comes to applying the same skills to human actions.
I’m going to draw some similarities between this thread, the one on socializing that is still active and the one a little while ago about the new applicant with body tattoos.
Humans are a group animal, we tent to travel in packs and we also have within our packs a well developed hierarchy.
Since we are social animals we use social clues to determine who is who in the pecking order and how to recognize others of like personalities and interests.
Take clothing for example. In any office there is a dress code. It may not be written down or even enforced in any formal manner but there is a real dress code. In some offices it may be suits and ties and in others it may be grudge style. But never forget that there is a real dress code. Violate it and you are not only violating a dress code but you are showing that you do not belong to that group.
Look at teenagers. They dress in standard styles that determine what group that they belong to, jock, nerd, preppie, druggie etc. Within these groups there are minor variations of clothing that determine which sub group they belong to and their place within that group. Think that it is coincidence that the alpha personality in any group is the most stylish dressed (by that groups standards) of that group?
In the adult world things are a little more subdued. It is more minor variations of dress and behavior that determine what group and where in the group people are. There is however no chance of someone observing almost any organization mistaking the CEO for a janitor.
Why do you think that the HR types advise to dress in the manner that you would dress for an important meeting on the job when you go for the interview? It is so that you will show that you fit in to the organization that is considering that you apply for admittance to and by dressing slightly better than the average daily dress you are showing that respect the organization and the people in it.
Same with office socializing. By conforming to the group norms you are showing that you belong and that are respectful of the group and its members. If socializing is the cultural norm in any position they to survive in the organization you have to socialize. If office socializing is not a part of the office culture then trying to organize an office bowling team is a futile effort.
Same with charity support. If the office wants to support a charity then to loudly and openly oppose the charity is to show that you do not belong to the group. Best to voice your opposition quietly and privately if at all.
Where do these norms develop? They come from the top. Senior management wants to promote those in the group who appear to belong and support the group. Thus middle managers reflect the attitudes of those above them and cultivate the same attitudes and behaviors in those below them.
Senior managers have no time and often lack the skills to determine who far below them is contributing the most. They do however have the skills to determine who is conforming to group norms of dress and behavior.
Take a look at some typical work places and you will see many other examples of how people in the office tend to conform. Some offices will have a lot of jocks and sport fans in them. Invariably the head guy will be a sports fan. Some offices will have people in them, who attend the ballet, Want to bet that the head honcho has season tickets?
I once worked for the Canadian Armed Forces. Whatever sport the current base commander followed was the one that the majority of the people participated in. I used to swim at noon. When a new base commander came in who also swam at noon within a month the number of noon swimmers had tripled. The number of swimmers at other times also increased significantly, even when the commander was not in the pool.
We once had a base commander who wanted to promote the idea of having Sunday nights as a family dining in night. All he started to do was to go to the mess on Sunday nights and within six weeks the place was full on Sunday nights.
Since I was in the pool the first day that the commander came for a swim and happened to be taking my family out for supper the night that the base commander first came for supper I was during the tenure of these two commanders almost bullet proof. It had nothing to do with any change in my abilities or performance but everything toi do with the fact that I was demonstrating behaviors that the base commander agreed with and that became the base norm.
You may consider that the people who came swimming or late for dinner were simply sucking you to the commander or you may see that they were demonstrating that they belonged in command because they behaved as a commander. The fact remains that they were conforming to group norms as demonstrated by the commander.
Why a lot of engineers cannot see and understand these simple facts of human nature is beyond me. All too often we want to be rebels and fly in the face of group norms and loudly declare that we will let our work stand for itself and the hell with what anyone thinks about us personally. That only works for the one in a million who never makes a mistake.
Violate group norms and when (notice when not if) you make a mistake it will be the one that hangs you. The group will use this as an excuse to turn on you. They will not be attacking you for the error but because you have shown that you do not belong in the group and they will be removing and isolating you from the group because of this not the error.
Ever wonder why some people can get away with being royal screw-up and others are fired for one small mistake? It is because the survivors are fully part of the group and the departed are the ones who violate group norms.
Now before you attack me on this notice I never made any value judgments on whether or not this is examples of good and proper behavior? I did not because these are simply laws of human behavior as strong and as valid as the law of gravity. To fight against or to ignore these behaviors is like fighting against or ignoring the law of gravity. Sooner or later you will fall.
Rick Kitson MBA P.Eng
Construction Project Management
From conception to completion
