A negative unprofessional coworker 16

[EngineerDave]

I am concerned about a co-worker who is negative and unprofessional towards me. I believe the issue started about 2 months ago and is related to an after work happy hour discussion. This guy always talks about politics whether in work or out and I happen to disagree with him.

I took him and another coworker on in a spirited debate (once again outside of work in a pub).

Since then it's been the cold war. Now I am more worried because I will be moving into the same office he works in.

When I ask him for assistance on things, he completely blows me off. He will go out of his way however to help the young attractive women that work in that office. He will talk with them for hours and joke with them, half the time I see him he is either joking with them or helping them with their work.

I think this is totally unprofessional. He doesn't even acknowledge me when I say hi.

Now I'm moving into an office feet from him. I will continue to say hello in the morning, but I won't let take any crap from him.

I work too hard to put up with this emotionally charged basketcase. I have never seen anything like it in any of my jobs. I don't expect that we have to be friends, but he should be professional at work.

I spoke with other coworkers about him and they said there are people in the department that he hasn't spoken a word to in years because of an argument.

 

[abeltio]

amazing...
after reading this epic novel...

engineerdave a couple of notes...

1. seems like the guy does not acknowledge your existence,

2. you are posting every single time you said: hi! to him, sorry to say but that reminded me of my kids when they were very young: daddy! daddy! she did not say hi to me!

3. if all your energy and focus are around what this guy does or says or what a good time he is having with the female engineers... think again... more likely than not you are not giving your job 100% effort.

some standard answers to the issues you mentioned:
ìf people is discussing politics, religion, family etc on the job and you want to stay out of it:
- sorry, kind of busy here...
- well... do you mind, i have a deadline
- if you've got nothing to do... please don't do it here.
- wow... seems like you have some spare time to discuss this... i can get you real busy in a second.

regarding HR... these are general rules when dealing with those types:
when you start a conversation... consider you have been informed of your Miranda rights.

where there is no justice, it is dangerous to be right. Quevedo (spanish author). Donde no hay justicia, es peligroso tener razón (original version)

cheers


saludos.
a.

 

[itdepends]

Just a thought dave- and I may have missed it if it has been suggested earlier in the saga above.

If you are having continual problems working with the guy why not sit down with him and discuss the issue (closed door). You are both professionals and you both have a job to do. Have a talk with him. Ask him if he has an issue with you, what is it?

Once you can answer the above you can start to work towards a professional working relationship. Letting things fester and biting backwards and forwards doesn't improve the situation. Of course if he doesn't wish to fix the solution there isn't much you can do other than being polite and conducting your job as best you can.

As with all advice- this is only my opinion. Feel free to make up your own mind.

Cheers.

Daniel.

 

[jmw]

Just for information, Techrepublic are running a poll on suck-ups.

Mr Unprofessional may well be one, but Dave, you haven't said how well he gets on with the bosses, and since this is long term behaviour you are commenting on he must have some management support i.e. he may be a suck-up (or he may have genuine value to the company).
I don't want to steal the Techrepublic show but just thought interested parties might like to see the (so-far listed) traits of the office suck-up (if you have any new rules, post to them).

http://techrepublic.com.com/5208-11189-0.html?forumID=6&threadID=182002&start=0&tag=nl.e101

Some are the obvious but some, I would have thought, involve a little risk.

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[EngineerDave]

I haven't moved to the new office yet. But I do get the distinct impression that he has either bad mouthed me to other people.

The other people in the office act strange when we are both around.

I can't wait until I am in there. I hope my presence causes him issues. My superior work ethic will shine through and most of those people will realize any crap he said about me was wrong.

I hate to mind read, but pop psychology is a field of interest of mine. I can read these people like their minds are completely open.

I don't think they've met anyone like me before.

 

[EngineerDave]

By the way, I must emphasize this, I never once brought up politics in the workplace.

He brought it up several times to which I didn't respond. Then one night when we went out with the group from work (my birthday no less), we got into a big argument. It was myself and one girl there who agreed with him

After that he started acting weird. I don't know if it was because I handled my own in the debate against the two of them or what, but he holds a major grudge. And I haven't brought it up since.

But he has been acting strange since then.

 

[Engineeeeeeeeer]

I have read the posts with interest, as when I first started in engineering I sensed that there were things going on between my colleagues. They have since gotten over it.
Reading the above and your commentary on the situation it reminds me of two children at school. The best advice is just get over it. Don't ignore him as that is also playing a game. Have a think. Maybe somewhere in internet land he is on a forum complaining about how you are acting??

BUT, from what you have said he seems a bit of a jerk. This may be difficult, but just act normally and don't get aggravated or wound up by him ignoring you etc. Concern yourself with your job and your tasks

 

[EngineerDave]

Great news in a way.

My boss sent him over to work with me on a project. I think it might be the first step in forcing us to get along.

He still doesn't say much but i'm happy for him to acknowledge me.

IT's one of those screwed up things. You hate the guy but your pissed he doesn't acknowledge you. What a jackass he can be.

Apparently another reason i'm in this battle with him i found out late Friday afternoon.

He hates my mentor. I couldn't believe the damn words he had for him.
Of course i told my mentor about how this guy was acting and he said it is normal for him and there have been people at work that he hasn't talked to for years.

What a weird guy.

 

[epoisses]

"I hope my presence causes him issues. My superior work ethic will shine through and most of those people will realize any crap he said about me was wrong."

"I hate to mind read, but pop psychology is a field of interest of mine. I can read these people like their minds are completely open. I don't think they've met anyone like me before."

"He hates my mentor. I couldn't believe the damn words he had for him. Of course i told my mentor about how this guy was acting..."

Dave.... just look at the things you write, look at what you're doing. I think YOU are the troublemaker here. The other guy is doing exactly what we're trying to make you understand all the time: he's ignoring you. Stop this weird kindergarden business, Dave, please.

 

[ScottyUK]

Do stars equal consensus?


----------------------------------

One day my ship will come in.
But with my luck, I'll be at the airport!

 

[GregLocock]

Yes, perhaps it is time for this little soap opera to draw to a close?



Cheers

Greg Locock

Please see FAQ731-376 for tips on how to make the best use of Eng-Tips.

 

[HVAC68]

"You hate the guy but your pissed he doesn't acknowledge you. "

If you hate the guy, why are you pissed off that he doesn't ackowledge you.

As epoisses has said, looks like the problem seems to be "shifting" to EngineerDave.



HVAC68

 

[TheTick]

I hate to mind read, but pop psychology is a field of interest of mine. I can read these people like their minds are completely open.

"Pop psychology" is twice as credible as "pop engineering".

 

[EngineerDave]

Guys I feel a bit vindicated today but troubled.

My suspicion that he has been talking bad about me to others has been confirmed. I will post more detail later.

This guy is a class A jerk. The deer in the headlight look probably is somehow related to this bullshit he's been spreading about me.

No class at all.

 

[ScottyUK]

Dave,

Have you considered that some of the comments could possibly be true? I don't know what the comments were obviously, but if they contained some variant of the words 'obsessed', 'neurotic', 'psychological problems' then maybe you need to take some of it on board. Get a grip.


----------------------------------

One day my ship will come in.
But with my luck, I'll be at the airport!

 

[EngineerDave]

Sorry about this thread guys.

I think I'm hypersensitive to this for alot of reasons.

1) I'm in a new career and new town where I dont know alot of people so work takes on an extra importance.

2) I've been in work environments before as a young engineer where I didn't promote myself or market myself enough. I refuse to let someone else try to market me in a bad light. However I do think talking badly about someone reflects badly on the person commenting as well.

3) The questions were all directed on my work ethic and intellect, two things this person is not qualified to judge. But I have heard him make disparaging remarks about others on this so why should I be surprised.

I profoundly apologize to board members for carrying this thread on until it was beat like a dead horse.

I do appreciate all the advice and can surely understand why some of you think I might be a source of the problem as well.

 

[unclesyd]

So long and happy trails