Boss wants a company party at my Regular Dance GIG! 12

[casseopeia]

I was recently asked to be a regular house dancer at a Middle Eastern restaurant in San Francisco, a somewhat high profile gig in front of large windows facing a very busy intersection.

My dance gigs in the past have been fairly obscure festival or private events, thus little chance for an encounter with a client. So I went to the boss this morning to ask if this would be OK with the firm. I fully expected a response similar to, “NO, under no circumstances will one of our architects,especially one who testifies as an expert witness, be caught popping and locking in a skimpy costume in public.”

Not only did I get a “go for it”, they now are talking about having a company party with selected clients at the venue. I’m feeling panicky now. Dancing for strangers is no problem. Dancing for friends is a bit harder. Dancing for co-workers and clients. Not enough Adavan in the world....

What do I say? Limit the crowd to a few, say 4 people at a time. Tell me ahead of time, sit in the back so I can’t see you. I really don't want to say no to the gig.



"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[postermmxvicom]

HgTX,

Point taken.

I suppose I didn't _really_ want elaboration, it was more of a poorly-worded verbal eye roll.

Pretend I was never here...

 

[DaveVikingPE]

"I don't think it's the dance so much as some men cannot seem to separate skin from s*x"

Right on!

 

[pennswoodsed]

Frankly,
I think the only contact between a hobby,serious as this one or not and a professional position should be Absolutely minimal.
Architect,right? Reputation,ability and opportunity would seem to be the most important aspects of career success or failure.
All customers are people,no? People are/can be political,fickle and quite often narrow minded.
Belly dancing will not lend credence to your ability,some art forms or activities might.
Prices and choices. Career or hobby more important?
Thanks,Ed



47 yo swm on the dark side of several careers.

 

[casseopeia]

Long, long ago I stopped making choices for fear of insulting or offending the narrow-minded and uninformed. I have been much happier ever since. And in the end, that's the only thing that really counts.

"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[pennswoodsed]

Prices and choices. Career or hobby more important?
Good luck,Ed

 

[lookintomyeyes]

Ed,

As a fellow bellydancer with much the same views as casseopeia with respect to personal happiness: I'd have to say that any company full of people who could not respect me for who i am (never mind appreciate my art form) is someplace I would seriously consider NOT working for.

While bellydance will not lend credence to my abilities as an engiener, neither will being a photographer, cake decorator, or sports fan enthusiasist. None of those hobbies have ANYTHING to do with engineering, and if I think less of someone's engineering abilities because of their hobby, then perhaps I need an attitude adjustment. As I said earlier: EDUCATION, not silence, is the key to improving the view of bellydance in the world. I refuse to let the uniformed control my life through fear and misplaced disrespect.

 

[HgTX]

The ethical dilemma in this thread wasn't the pursuit of bellydance as a hobby, but combining that hobby with a corporate function. In that case one is dealing not only with the attitudes of one's co-workers but also of one's clients--and adding confusion to the exact nature of one's relationship with the client. If Cass were a pianist, she shouldn't be providing the musical wallpaper at a corporate function either; she should be at the table with the client and some other hired pianist should be plinking away in the corner.

Hg

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[caluna]

Hi Casseopeia,
I think you are quite right to keep your work and other career separate. Maybe in an ideal world it would not be necessary..I am a female in engineering and have worked another job (nights) in the entertainment industry..Despite all the enlighteneed co-workers, clients and bosses in the world, there are still those who may think differently of you (i.e., certainly not primarily as a competent engineer!) if you are a paid entertainer in an capacity which may have "connotations" for some people. You should be at a company function as a representative of your company and profession, as a guest, along with clients and colleagues.
Caluna

 

[casseopeia]

Hey, I forgot about this thread! I quit the gig after just a few performances. The restaurant owners were VERY restrictive with the music I could play and the pay, including tips, wasn’t worth the effort.

But this brings up an interesting point. I’ve recently attended a few industry parties where other consultants I work with asked if I was going to dance. So I told them I would never do that, but that I don’t mind if anyone I work with happens to see me at a restaurant or private party where I was hired to dance. I took to heart many of the things brought up here and set a boundary of not mixing the two.

So thanks all for the wise words of advice! I shamelessly used many of the things said here as if I had the good sense to come up with them myself.



"If you are going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance!"

 

[HgTX]

Not that this is any form of helpful advice, but Cass the dancing architect reminds me of the quote that goes, "Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."

Hg

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[jmw]

There is a PS that only now occurs to me (how I survive is a mystery when it takes so long for the obvious to be apparent); beware a too sympathetic boss for both your sake and his.
Bosses are not by nature inclined to be worker friendly, they take to heart the mantra that being a boss doesn't mean that they should be loved by everybody (anybody) so any apparent favouritism could lead to a whole lot of complications.
A great many people can take delight in interpreting what they see going on as something quite different; they can add two and two and make five and will claim "no smoke without fire" Offices are hotbeds of gossip, jealousy and innuendo.

JMW

http://www.ViscoAnalyser.com

 

[HgTX]

Married female boss in this case. While, strictly speaking, it doesn't eliminate any possibilities, it makes one category of innuendo less likely.

Hg

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