How to deal with a difficult co-worker yet maintain personal values 13

[fogell21]

Hi all,

I am currently working at a factory as Jr. Project Co-ordinator on a 1 year contract as my company undergoes facility expansion to increase production. I am part of a small project team consisting of the Project Manager and a Sr. Project co-ordinator, both of whom have worked with the company on other projects and building expansions.

I get along great with everyone in the workplace including the Project Manager, but am finding some difficulties with the other Project Co-ordinator. I find that he is a peculiar man from the get go, with many weird personal "isms" but I am not one to judge and hold grudges for any reason. I work hard and believe that the quality of my work is very good, and I am never afraid to ask questions being this is my first real "engineering" position.

I am finding that the Sr. likes to try and put me on the spot in front of the PM for items which are not my responsibility but are more in fact his. He also tends to ignore me when I do ask him questions and I feel awkward when I have to ask the same question multiple times just to get an answer. When we do have to work together on certain things he does allow me to be involved with the meetings/discussions/etc but he often overpowers and again tries to put me on the spot in front of suppliers/contractors/the PM.

The weirdest part about my situation is that there are times when he acts like we are best friends and wonders what "we're doing for lunch" and then we go out and he tells stories of his travels and we banter back and forth about the latest news or technology advancement. It is almost like he is bi-polar towards me (for lack of a better description).

I just don't know how to deal with this character and not let him annoy me in the ways mentioned. I try to treat everyone with respect as they are all more experienced than I am, but his attitude is very confusing and sometimes I get distracted by it and have trouble getting things done.

Any tips on dealing with difficult co-workers?

Fogs.

 

[thruthefence]

Unfortunately the working world is full of folks like this. He's trying to cover his ass, because he sees you as a rival. He's at that magic age where you lose your confidence (if you ever had any).

Don't make small talk with him anymore then necessary, or he'll use some tidbit to bust your chops.

Although now he may complain to the boss that "you have become 'distant', and 'moody'; perhaps personal problems are affecting your work?"

Nuance and innuendo are his tools.

Think: "Wormtongue" from "Lord of the Rings".

Dealing with these guys is just another professional skill to learn.

Good Luck!!

 

[lacajun]

I'm 50+ and my hearing is almost perfect. Don't talk loudly to him as that will make you look a bit foolish, which may be his goal. I've been around loud noises quite a bit playing music, riding motorcycles, and working in manufacturing. I've used hearing protection all of the time at work, when in the plant, in high dB areas. However, never with music and almost never riding motorcycles. If he's not been exposed consistently to lots of dB and for long periods of time, his hearing is probably OK.

It could be narcissism at work, which is very hard to deal with. I've had to deal with a few of them in life and it's challenging.

 

[fogell21]

Just had an impromptu meeting in the PM's office about an issue that I had been working on previously that was taken over by the Sr. PC to take to the next level (because of his experience) and he had tried to say that my drawings, dimensions and concepts were wrong. Rather than say I proved him wrong, I proved my theories correct and the PM agreed completely. Feels good!

 

[TheTick]

In your title you mentioned your values. You are young and so is your career. You will need to reexamine your values closely, and, likely, adjust. There's far more to being good than being "nice".

 

[RolMec]

i don't think that it should feel good...
All that is not running professional anymore...
This "game" means underperformance of the team, thing that backfires on you as well. Being proven right (ONCE...) means nothing, there will be a "next time" and seen from a higher point of view (upstream management) all that is a NUISANCE to smooth operation. You two seem redundant in a way, + you cannot be sure what strings that guy knows from past.
So its time to prove or leadership (why not?) or an engineers ability to split competencies and to distribute workload --> have something to do distinctly apart from Mr. X. To re-form a team, doing a job rather than to think about a next move. See?
Wish you luck!
R.

 

[lacajun]

fogell21 (Mechanical)
18 Aug 11 15:10
Just had an impromptu meeting in the PM's office about an issue that I had been working on previously that was taken over by the Sr. PC to take to the next level (because of his experience) and he had tried to say that my drawings, dimensions and concepts were wrong. Rather than say I proved him wrong, I proved my theories correct and the PM agreed completely. Feels good!

Good for you! Companies can spend loads of money doing needless rework. My past employers detested rework and took a very dim view of people who caused it.

 

[fogell21]

I am starting to get to the end of my rope with this character, he has been doingn alot of the shady things, trying to blame things on me when I haven't even been involved. Not sure what to do, but slowly getting very frustrated.

 

[mauricestoker]

I've dealt with the same situation repeatedly for 25 years, and I'm certain that any of those same protagonists over 25 years felt the same way. Some times personalities don't mix, some people have toxic personalities, and sometimes people that don't know you don't like you just the same.

I agree with TheTick, try to put all communications possible in writing, and be concise. Now that you've shown up the person that seems to want you under the their thumb or out the door, I would say CYA planning is best. If you have it in writing, it's not a case of "he said, she said". It's not particular to engineering, it's particular to human nature.

 

[TheTick]

The hardest lesson may be yet coming: you can be right, do everything right, and still lose.

 

[patprimmer]

Maurice and Tick both make very good points.

Regards
Pat
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