Need an honest answer 33

[sns777]

What do you think of women engineers? Or is it impossible to make such a generalization?

I am a female engineer, 35, married with children so I work only part time, (four days a week). I sometimes feel like I do not get the big important jobs to work on and this is frustrating, personally and professionally. Granted not getting the big jobs is probably due to me working only part time rather than me being female. But I still wonder.

Also I feel my boss doesn't like working with me. Every project I have worked on with him, he transfers the job to someone else eventually (mostly male engineers, but he did once give one job to another female engineer). What gives?

A male opinion and suggestions would be appreciated. I hope I did not offend anyone. I am just trying to figure out what to do. Or is it all in my head?

 

[EddyC]

I'm a sensitive guy Dave. You'll never see me doing "things" with anyone in the office or with any strange people. I also don't care how other people sexually interact with each other, even Mr Clinton, and I wasn't a big fan of his. Most of the non-sensitive men that I have met over the years were not nice people. They may have some good qualities, but overall are a liability to the human race. I also know quite a few "alpha" females who would love to get in your face and tell you exactly how they feel about your views towards women.

 

[DaveVikingPE]

So basically, "Nice Guy" EddyC, messing around with a coworker - in the office, during work hours (which is what President Clinton did), is acceptable behavior to you because you don't care how other people sexually interact with each other? Nice try... but masquerading as someone so open-minded that their brains fall out isn't gaining points with the ladies...

What if the boss gives promotions to his mistress for her favors? (Which is what President Clinton had Vernon Jordan do)? Chaulk that up to "...I don't care..."?

And "nice" guys are the liability to the human race. Their real name is "human doormats." And before the posers here jump on me (wrongheadedly) let me say that there's an infinite gulf between "nice" and "decent." A "decent guy," like myself, knows the rules, knows the boundaries, knows his limitations, and follows them accordingly.

Then again, there's this TV show called "Beauty and the Geek" and it seems that dorky, engineer-type guys are, in fact, hooking up with "babes" (are they not???!!!) using the "nice guy" schtick. Plus they're making bank for it. Strange world we live in.

 

[astructurale]

DaveVikingPE: Are you married?? Must not be. They say nice guys finish last, but I'll bet you they finish with the best prizes. I'd never have married a guy who is not nice, and I certaintly have more respect for those who are nice. Also, nice guys are not all pushovers. Based on your "5 Jun 05 19:24" post I'd agree that you don't fit that description of nice, and that's sad for you.

I've worked under BOTH types as bosses and dated both types also. Trust me, the nice guys are the best guys out there. So keep being nice EddyC, men and women alike can respect that.

 

[EddyC]

DaveVikingPE,

I thought that what our former president did was disgusting. But I simply don't believe in getting involved in other peoples personal matters. The behavior between Mr Clinton and Ms Lewinski was a consentual & legal act between 2 adults. How can I as a stranger possibly know what is in their hearts and what their feelings and motivations are? Mr Clinton would not be welcome at my house. Ms Lewinski would be, but only as a guest (and I DO NOT mean in a sexual way). Unfortunately 75% of the men that I meet would act exactly like Mr Clinton (but not me).

astructurale,

I will keep being a nice guy to the folks that I interact with. I will make exceptions, however, to people who don't behave themselves.

 

[DaveVikingPE]

My People!

I am married to a beautiful lady, and a fantastic cook! She sometimes tells me that "the only reason you married me was for my cooking!" In reply, I offer "you have to admit, it's a pretty good reason."

EddyC, you've missed the point: President Clinton messed around IN THE OFFICE DURING WORK. It's not like he stopped at a hotel that rents by the hour on his way home from work or something. Someone above made a smug, dismissive remark about orgies in the office - well, the last President's "activities" - again, DURING OFFICE HOURS, IN THE OFFICE, ON COMPANY TIME - illustrate that, indeed, it can and does happen - and the offending parties get away with it (almost, in this case).

I used to be a "nice guy." Take note, men: it's only a matter of time... I used to be a nice guy until I found out, through bitter experience, that it's a weakness in the workplace. (In my case, I was cured of being nice in graduate school, before I got a real job.)

TTFN! Viking Power!

 

[TPNY]

I don't believe being "nice" means being a doormat or a yes-man. My definition of "nice" in the workplace is someone who has integrity and wouldn't sell out a co-worker or friend for his own personal gain. There is nothing wrong with a "nice" guy - but I think you are talking about something else, Mr. Viking.

 

[dbooker630]

I've been a Metallurgist for 28 years and to me it comes down to competence in the field. In my career I cannot make any generalizations about female engineers without making the same for males. Incompetence knows no gender.

 

[sns777]

Bacon4life;

I think it is ethical to not mention that you may take some time off.

My reasons why its ok;
1. You do not know exactly when you would have children and it could very well be a while, either by choosing to wait to have children or taking a while to conceive.

2. You may change your mind and decide to continue working with kids, either part time or full time.

Some ethical things you should do if you would get the job and indeed decide to take time off to care for kids.

1. Give plenty of notice.
2. Be honest with your employer on what your future plans are.