Question for the guys .... 17

[bradpa77]

Ok this might be a little off-topic for this board, but I'm going to post it anyways.

Lets say your wife makes more money than you and you decide to have kids. She doesn't want to quit her job to be a stay at home mom. Would you quit your job as an engineer to stay home with the kids or hire a babysitter to watch them all day?

Just a quick question to soothe my curiousity.

Personally, I would stay home and be a part-time student, and get my masters and doctorate while watching the kids until they are old enough to start school. Then I would get back into an engineering job. I think I'd really enjoy the time off.

 

[ChrisConley]

Kids needed breastmilk exclusively 50 years ago, they've done wonders with formula.

 

[IRstuff]

babies need breasts for about 1 year. men think they need breasts.

kids do not, not unless you're some wacko mother's milk advocate.

TTFN

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Babies don't need breasts. They need breast milk. You buy a breast pump and a bottle and you're there.

 

[Jabberwocky]

In response to ChrisConley's "getting bored" comment.

If you're bored then you're boring.

There are many interesting things to do in life, not all of them require being at work. All you need is time and (often) money.

 

[ChrisConley]

Jabberwocky,

Not to start an argument on the board, as this will be my last post on the subject, but if you don't find sitting around the house without intellectual challenge boring, then you are stupid.

If that sounds harsh, reread your post.

 

[ctopher]

Chris
Systems Analyst, I.S.
SolidWorks 06 4.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 06-21-06)

 

[boottmills]

Come on guys...some of us have breast.

Boottmills
SW2006 SP3.0

 

[ctopher]

Only once a month when I go to KFC.

Chris
Systems Analyst, I.S.
SolidWorks 06 4.1/PDMWorks 06
AutoCAD 06
ctopher's home (updated 06-21-06)

 

[BrunoPuntzJones]

Jabberwocky,

You're right on there.

ChrisC,

Read your own post:

"if you don't find sitting around the house without intellectual challenge boring, then you are stupid"

Most of us wouldn't sit around the house without intellectual challenge. We have ways of finding stimulation other than work. Hobbies, charities, political causes, reading, writing, your partner, your children, your friends.

 

[HVACctrl]

Mikehalloran,
I never said I was going to try to do better. I have been studying for a while now. I don't know everything there is to know about the market, but there is certainly notthing wrong with thinking that I can do much better than a 401K, etc...

I've done some paper trading, with limited knowledge and easily, handily blew away anything any 401K of mine had ever seen.

I think its doable with the right attitude and the right education and most importantly th right strategies and plans.

I recommend looking into it. If you would like any info, let me know- I'll share what limited info I have.

Ed

http://www.engineerboards.com

 

[MedicineEng]

Babies need breast and breast milk. A breast pump or milk formula won't do the job. Breast milk changes during the feeding and that's why it is recomended that each feeding takes at least 15-20 minutes. The first milk is usualy more watered and poorer in terms of proteins, substances to strenghten babies'immune system, etc. and only after some minutes sucking the breast, the milk comes much richer in terms of proteines and all the good stuff. No breast pump can do this since it can't stimulate mother's breast to produce this richer milk, besides it is much more agressive for women's breasts.
In the bad old times when there was slavery, it was common that white men choose a black slave that was breast feeding and made her giving the first milk to his white baby and only then feed their own baby. By ignorance, in fact the white baby was getting the worst milk and the black baby was getting the richer milk. This was then shown in the development of the baby and these slaves were frequently punished because their owner didn't understand why his own baby was smaller that the black baby.
After this "milky way story", let's go back to the thread.
We can continue saying polical correct statements and confuse wishes with reality.
Facts (not subject any kind of personal interpretation):
-In average, women earn less than men.
-In average, women's carrer development is slower and shorter than men;
-In average, unemployment is higher among women;

There isn't any country in the world that this doesn't happen, not even in European nordic countries where I think it was achieved the closest leveling between men/women.

So it is only natural that when a family is put to that decision, besides the "intellectual stimulation" and "historical"issues, the economic factors should be considered.
That is why I stated in my first reply to this thread that I woudl only consider this possibility if my wife earned a lot, lot more than me.
Sorry about this long post.

 

[EddyC]

Some folks (Yes, even Engineers!) hate their jobs and would welcome an opportunity to stay at home with their kids. Others hate childrearing and would get more pleasure from work. It all depends upon the person and is not necessarily gender specific. Some find out their true feelings only after their kids are born.

 

[electricpete]

I would say every industry, company and position are different, but the situation you describe is not uncommon.

I am an EE in my 5th position 19 years out of school (3 of those 5 with my current company providing engineering support at a large industrial facility).

I would say you have two choices:
1 - Get out of that job and/or company if you are really miserable.
2 - If you stay in that job, you need to recognize that an attitude of viewing yourself as a narrow specialist can hurt you if it detracts from your performance.

I have throughout my career had more administrative tasks then technical. At the beginning I felt (like you) that I wanted to use my education more. After all I was a superstar in school but no longer a superstar at work... so the answer must be to shift my work activities closer to what I did at school, right?

Well, I'd have to say that mentality has hurt me. I have worked harder on those aspects of my job that involved math and engineering and not as hard on the aspects that seemed more routine/mundane.

For example, I take a little extra time to review technical details when a particularly interesting problem comes along. When complex troubleshooting opportunities arise or technical analyses arise, I usually shine pretty well. But in the day to day grind of getting routine long-range non-glamorous (but very important to the company) stuff done... I haven't put as much emphasis (maybe because it doesn't match my self-image) and I have not done as well in those areas.

And the funny thing, from a performance standpoint, my company isn't overly concerned about what I learned, what I know, or what I want to do, but instead is interested in how much I can you get done (and done well) in the area of my current assigned responsibilities. That is a perfectly logical way for the company to view the situation.

I think that I would have done better and gotten more promotions/responsibilities if I would have grasped that my main objective should be to do my job well (whatever was asked of me) and play the political game well. There may be a variety of ways to achieve that goal (and only you can judge the best way in your current situation), but I believe you can hurt your performance within a given organization by viewing yourself as a narrow specialist that should only do particular types of work. You do better and proving yourself multi-talented by doing well on every task that is assigned you. Then when new increased-responsibility positions open up, they may regard you as a flexible person capable of filing that role even though it's outside your area of expertise.

That's only my view from my particular experience, but I wish someone had slapped me a few times and explained it to me this way 19 years ago.

=====================================
Eng-tips forums: The best place on the web for engineering discussions.

 

[ScottyUK]

ePete,

Are we brothers? It is a shame I can only give you one star for writing something so close to home for me! Good advice.



----------------------------------

Sometimes I only open my mouth to swap feet...

 

[Kwan]

I gave ePete another star. Well said sir!!!

 

[KiwiMace]

My wife earns more than me. We just had a kid in January. My wife took two months off on leave and one month w/o pay. Our baby needed her home for breast-feeding when she was little. We don't live near family.

We both now work full weeks and my baby is in daycare. She gets her needed boob in the morning, evening and (unfortunately=) during the night. She gets b/milk in the day from the pumped supplies, given by a lady she knows and trusts, and who is trained to educate her far better than I could.

If either one of us were to quit and raise our daughter at home, we'd be giving up over half of our income (allowing for the savings we make on daycare) and she'll be on her own after high school, not to mention all the deprivation in between.

This is the real family for the new economy. Welcome to the 2000's, now get productive.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Agreed ChrisConley, no reason to start a flamewar or anything.

Thanks BrunoPuntz for understanding what I meant.

I think epete also raises a good point about career enhancement in general, at least in today's market, having the ability to stay flexible makes you so much more valuable. For instance, I work on marketing graphics and help out in the QC area. The caveat is to make sure your salary says commensurate with your performance.