Work / Life Balance 12

[peterso2]

Hello,
I am a 25 yr old Engineer with a Bachelors employed for 4 years so far. The company I work for is decent, but I don't find the work all that interesting and I'm basically stuck doing the same thing for the next 10 years +. I am still living in my parents basement - although I do pay them rent it is not much.

My life outside of work is in bad shape right now. I've got two real friends I hang out with. One has a degree and one doesnt. I do not know any females - the ones I used to know have all disappeared along with other friends to different states. Right now the weeks keep churning and all I do is go to work and the gym and sleep. How can this be changed? Is life really this dull outside of work until retirement?
Now its not all doom and gloom I'm sure I've got it better than a LOT of people in life but its still frustrating and depressing most of the time. Any reccomendations?

Thank You.

 

[csd72]

I was probably a bit heavy but I thought something needed to be said. Apologies plasgears it was not meant to be personal but was a general statement prompted by your comment.

Yes, travel is not for everyone but if you dont try it you can only take other peoples word for it that these places exist. Though to me travel is about experiences rather than seeing things.

Also, living in the US is no excuse. You have borders with 2 amazing countries and you are only a 10 or so hour flight from europe.

The country that I grew up in had nothing but thousands of miles of ocean in all directions and was a 20 hour flight from the US and 24 hours from Europe!

I do admit that your lack of holidays stinks but this is no excuse when you are backpacking.

But I think the main thing is that you have to find a passion in life, mine are travel and climbing. Thankfully every persons passion is different.

 

[SNORGY]

I'm trying to figure out the second amazing country, besides Mexico, that the U.S. shares borders with.

Regards,

SNORGY.

 

[slickdeals]

I am sure some Canadian is monitoring this thread

 

[Hurricanes]

SiliconeAurora,

Not exactly easy to see the big wide world from the US? That's rubbish really. I am from New Zealand, a country far more isolated from the rest of the world geographically, yet I've found it pretty easy to see the world so far (well only Europe and Australia, but Asia is on the horizon).

I'd also recommend peterso2 does a bit of travel to Western Europe. It won't be too far out of his comfort zone culturally, and he'll be bound to have a great time.

 

[csd72]

Definately, lots of cute women with even cuter accents - and you are a real novelty for them also.

I knew i would get another antipodean backing me up on that point.

Actually it is more than the 2 countries that the US has borders with, there are a few in the carribean also.

 

[mauricestoker]

I would have guessed New Jersey.

 

[a2mfk]

This is not towards anyone in particular, not the OP:

If you don't want to travel and see the world, stay in your basement in your S-town playing X box your whole life then. Only you are missing out, the world is not holding their breath to meet more close-minded Americans (I am not a self hating American, some of my friends have this don't travel ignorant attitude too).

No other single form of experience has changed my life or made me happier than travel, in this country and others. And I have seen it in other people's lives too, even my conservative, older parents, who started traveling the world late in life.

I am sick of groveling, complaining, whining, etc. from everyone about everything. There is no pill or quick solution in life. The world is your oyster but nobody will serve it up on a TV tray in your living room.

Foreign travel is about opening up your mind and gaining perspective, having experiences and stories to tell. You should also at least once go to a much less wealthy country to see how people without much material wealth live and survive and can be very happy. Back to the perspective thing...

I've been planning a trip to New Zealand for a year now, and think about it with excitement every day and its not for 3 months. Its been a dream of mine for a long time to go there, as everyone I know who has gone said its the single most beautiful country they have ever seen. I look forward to tipping a few with some Kiwis. The other thing about a big trip is just the fun of planning it and looking forward to it.

Or you can be like my Grandpa who rarely left a 10 mile radius of his small town in Wisconsin. He seemed pretty happy with his existence, and got homesick after about 48 hours- but I always saw it as a bit sad. But to each his own, you won't know what you are missing (or not) until you try.

 

[csd72]

a2mfk,

I agree with every word.

 

[mauricestoker]

Of course there are other ways to meet people. One of my in-laws met his wife at a Scientology meeting. Not sure how that worked out, they stopped talking to anyone not a Scientologist, but hey, I thought the best that boy would ever do was a small furry pet. There's always the Moonies, which could save you a lot on group weddings.

Be bold and go for what you want. I remember one college dance where my fellow nerd engineer and I got rejected so many times we made a game of it. With perseverance, I got a dance on my 31st try. My friend was so jealous.

Learn from your mistakes. When I started dating in Italy, I went to the Disco Di Fimon where thousands of young women were. Almost immediately, the Italian lady in the booth asked me for a dance. I didn't realize until she left the booth that she had been standing on the seat and came up to my navel. We had a nice slow dance, and I learned to not make decisions based solely upon a pretty face.

 

[graybeach]

And now, with air travel, there is always the possiblity of a nice pat down.

 

[csd72]

nice post mauricestoker,

Reminds me of a friends old pickup line. He used to just walk up to ladies and simply say 'do you want a £$%@?'. He would get at least nine slaps in the face until he got his one yes.

 

[IRstuff]

"more than the 2 countries that the US has borders with"

Sure, don't forget New Mexico or Hawaii... ;-)

TTFN

FAQ731-376
Chinese prisoner wins Nobel Peace Prize

 

[SomptingGuy]

UK only has one border.

- Steve

 

[moltenmetal]

Shh- stop reminding the Americans we're up here- we don't want them to go all "manifest destiny" on our @sses again!

 

[thruthefence]

1) Move out. If you can buy a house, do so. It's a tangible possession. It's very existence in your life will energize & organize you. I bet your parents would help. Lot's of deals out there.

2) But a guitar. A decent starter acoustic. Taylor makes some good ones, and HIRE someone to get you started. You will never regret it; music, especially music that you, yourself are generating, (no matter how crude) clears the mind.

3) Open yourself to opportunities. There is NO LUCK, only the chance to maximize events to your advantage.

4) Dale Carnegie ( no commercial interest, of course) no matter how lame you young whipper-snappers think this is, it will teach you personal interaction and build your confidence in a great way.

5) Consider an online dating service, if indeed that is an issue to you. I met my wife (nine years now) on "Match.com".

6) Don't watch the rabid talk shows, no matter what your political leanings are. Don't watch ANY "reality shows". This is important.

7) Lower your expectations. Life is NOT for our entertainment. It's a bitch, sometimes.

 

[thruthefence]

"I would recommend overseas travel to anyone, it will open your eyes to what an amazing thing life is"

Yes, life in America, in my mind.

I have traveled in the far East, Thailand, Vietnam, Taiwan, The Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Dubai, The UK, & Ireland, South Africa, Nigeria, Brazil, and of course, our neighbors to the South (in happier times) Mexico.

And while much of my time spent overseas was 1)Being shot at, 2) recovering from being shot at, 3) working in the Bush, or 4) Simply on holiday, I have always felt like Dorthy, clicking my heels, and thankfully saying "there's no place like home, there's no place like home"

 

[csd72]

thruthefence,

Yes, sometimes thats what travel does. Thankfully not everyone is into it as there would be a lot more people flying around.

Not sure what you were doing to get shot at but I am sure that I would probably feel the same if the same happened to me.

But it did make you appreciate life?

 

[thruthefence]

The "shootie" (as opposed to "shooter", which I was on occasion) role was played hanging out the door of a Bell UH-1 Helicopter. My experiences in Bangkok & Taipei in those days were with a little less genteel class of folks, so my assessment of those parts of the world are probably unfairly biased. I mean no insult or criticism of other cultures, but from my experience, I haven't seen anywhere I'd rather live then the USA.

 

[nuche1973]

peterso2: go out and do something and remember "The timid sleep alone."

 

[thruthefence]

CSD72;
"Reminds me of a friends old pickup line. He used to just walk up to ladies and simply say 'do you want a £$%@?'. He would get at least nine slaps in the face until he got his one yes."

I knew a guy just like that!!!

A "John Candy" type, but cruder. He had no fear of women, rejection did not phase him. And I NEVER knew him to be without female companionship, and attractive, intelligent women. I have never understood this process, that seemed to be at work with him.

I used to hang with him, just to get his castoffs.

He got a job as an "Orkin Man" doing residential pest control, and had to give it up, because, to paraphrase General jack D. Ripper, (Dr. Strangelove, 1964) his "precious bodily fluids were sapped and impureified" by the lonely housewives of the mid-60's.