Work / Life Balance 12

[peterso2]

Hello,
I am a 25 yr old Engineer with a Bachelors employed for 4 years so far. The company I work for is decent, but I don't find the work all that interesting and I'm basically stuck doing the same thing for the next 10 years +. I am still living in my parents basement - although I do pay them rent it is not much.

My life outside of work is in bad shape right now. I've got two real friends I hang out with. One has a degree and one doesnt. I do not know any females - the ones I used to know have all disappeared along with other friends to different states. Right now the weeks keep churning and all I do is go to work and the gym and sleep. How can this be changed? Is life really this dull outside of work until retirement?
Now its not all doom and gloom I'm sure I've got it better than a LOT of people in life but its still frustrating and depressing most of the time. Any reccomendations?

Thank You.

 

[RoyTyrell]

This isn't a dating board - but I'll help a brother out.

If you find an opening in local government - go for it. It's where I, and a lot of other engineers, married well above our own looks. tons and tons of hotties work for local government. same in every state i've been in.

not an option? hit the clubs. as for work - it's always going to suck. sorry to disappoint.

 

[Japher]

I would do anything to get the ball rolling: church, volunteer work, join a club sport, etc... anything to get you talking to people and doing things... once you start doing stuff good things will happen

 

[abusementpark]

You've got to be a little unpredictable and erratic to attract women. Be available, but not too available. Frequently step out for mysterious phone conversations. You gotta be always be makin' moves. Be sullen. Sometimes you just want to taste the ice cream, not buy a gallon.

Keep that pimp hand strong, brother.

 

[calguy07]

Its funny how he made ONE reference to females and all of a sudden this became a dating advice thread..lol!! When I was in that situation (still am even though I'm dating now so what does that tell you), women were the least of my concerns to be honest. At least the OP has family in the same city so there's some support structure in place.

 

[mauricestoker]

If it was dating advice he wanted, I would've recommended the potato trick (note: potato goes in front).

 

[KENAT]

peterso2, perhaps you could clarify what you want recommendations on.

If you want recommendations on what to do about your job/career then you may need to give a bit more information to get useful feedback.

Not having much of a social life can be a boon to a career as it means you don't feel you're missing out on anything and are willing to become a workaholic. However, I'd doubt many of us would suggest this is the optimum life balance.

If you want recommendations on how to improve your social/love life, well this site may not be the best source of advice.

While I'm somewhat from the stiff upper lip/pull your socks up camp when it comes to these types of things, depression is a recognized medical condition - perhaps you should seek some professional help.

Posting guidelines faq731-376

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(probably not aimed specifically at you)
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[westheimer1234]

If you want some excitement, you can pay my bills for me.

=)

 

[relentlessratt]

I had a similar situation a few years ago when i graduated.
Went to work, met up with friends after work, went home and slept. went fishing etc on weekends with friends. Did that for about 3 years then met a great girl (She was a trainee back then) at work and I'm still together with her now. been almost 3 years.
However, i still find myself thinking about work a lot. In fact i am always up to solving some long standing problem from the past when i was still in school. This involves plenty of reading - technical articles, papers, engineering books etc. I generally refuse OT unless absolutely necessary. yet i find myself working when i have nothing better to do which is probable not too healthy.
but i also play soccer, squash and tennis. I even play guitar and started a band for a while. i also started repairing my car for myself.
anyways, the point is that if you think a female is the only element required to brighten up your life, think again.
Don't wait for life to happen, make it happen. take chances, try new things. living is personal, nobody can do it for you.
At least that's what i'm doing and i'm ok at least for now. i'd still like to think about work less though. hope this helped.

 

[apsix]

relentlessratt

You don't have to feel guilty about enjoying problem solving, even if it overlaps with your work.
Hopefully every engineer went into engineering because they enjoyed it.

 

[relentlessratt]

apsix,
I don't feel guilty. In fact there aren't many things i like doing more that problem solving. But sometimes, i envy some person's ability to forget work, after work. I just enjoy it too much and i've always been this way. even before i had an engineering degree. Most of what i do is really for my own personal satisfaction.
anyways, this thread is about peterso2 and his concerns.
I hope these discussions are helping him in some way.

 

[Gymmeh]

I and the same age and been working the same time.

I moved to a different city. Although I was lucky enough to have my collage gf follow me (which is now my wife). We struggled for awhile to meet and make friends. Although we got involved in community volunteer work and have since met alot of nice people.

The process takes time and take going to places were people are.

Good luck
J

 

[Twoballcane]

For my wife and I, we moved from another other state and it was easier to meet and make friends with other transplants. Locals already have their circle of friends which are harder to break into.

Tobalcane
"If you avoid failure, you also avoid success."

 

[plasgears]

In Italy they use a perjorative to describe a man who lives indefinitely at the parents' abode: 'Mommino.' At least in your case you are working. My oldest son fits your picture. I think he learned negative lessons from his siblings and friends. There were three divorces between two siblings.

I met others of the opposite sex at ski clubs, singles dance organizations, church groups, and the extended family network. The bar scene is not the place to meet your life partner. A good friend married a girl thru a city wide singles group. They had dances, ski events, etc.

My younger son met his fiance' at the upscale apartment complex pool.

 

[mauricestoker]

You might try family reunions.

 

[ajack1]

Get a dog, the exercise will do you good, you get to meet lots of other dog walkers some of who will be single females and most importantly there is always someone who is ecstatically pleased to see you whenever you walk in the door and will not hold it against you that you are drunk, left the toilet seat down and forgot to put the cap on the toothpaste.

 

[SomptingGuy]

Dogging eh? That's a sure-fire way to meet people, some of them wearing uniforms and driving cars with flashing lights.

- Steve

 

[btrueblood]

...and some wearing quite a bit less, but flashing too perhaps.

 

[KENAT]

"The bar scene is not the place to meet your life partner."

Hmm, well if I were to look at the divorce rate of folks in the US I know, then actually meeting in a bar is doing a lot better than meeting at church. On the other hand, I know a couple in serious trouble after some ski club inspired adultery. So, I'm hesitant to completely rule out or excessively condone any one location for meeting potential spouse's.

The OP hasn't logged in since 25th so maybe they solved their social life problem and is out having fun?

Posting guidelines faq731-376

http://eng-tips.com/market.cfm?

(probably not aimed specifically at you)
What is Engineering anyway: faq1088-1484​

 

[btrueblood]

What does that say about the rest of us, Kenat?

 

[akastud]

Lock up all your guns and give your mom the key right now, it could be a long time your an engineer!

akastud